Depression Support Thread

Tulip

dawnylou wrote: »

I only went to one particular area in Home Bargains to get something for someone on here - if I looked around I would spend more money!! lol.
Confetti wasn't reduced to a price worth paying today and only Whoopsies were ready meals and pizza so nothing of interest in there.
Had a big let down in Boots.
To start off with nothing left in our store that you could get for free with voucher.
And the see here http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=8098155&posted=1#post8098155 for the rest of my 'ordeal' lol.

Forgot to go to Greggs - was going to get 2 chicken bakes for Fiance as I had a BOGOF voucher.

Bought £4 worth of Tombola tickets outside charity shop as they had some lovely items suitable for gifts to be won. Alas I never won a thing - where oh where is Tulip when you need her???

Now I feel exhausted so am having a coffee then I'll lie around all day and prepare myself for tonights session....

Did I hear some one call my name I am here,Sorry you didnt win anything on the tombola,sending you some magic fairy dust I have done all my cleaning and ironing and thats out the way and now on to making my lunch of plaice,jacket potatoes and mushrooms


love and light,

Katie xxx

dawnylou

Well it is a little late now!! But I am sure that I can now sit here confidently smug with the magic fairy dust glittering all over me safe in the knowledge that I will most certainly get a prize in the post tomorrow from an online comp......
Yes??

feelinggood_2

meyore wrote: »

Thats positive? Hope it does get better soon-what did you do? Well done for not giving up on your lists, it does sound pretty tough, but it'll be worth it.

I feel really good after my visit to the gym. Its ages since I've gone and just used the equipment, usually I do classes. It was nice to be able to push myself that little bit further today. Going to go to my class tonight too.

I've put a fish pie type thing in for lunch and I had a nice bath. Although the bath was too hot, as the cold tap doesn't work and I can't be bothered to make too many trips to the kitchen for buckets of cold :eek: That and the dog went mad while I was in there because the postman knocked with a parcel and there was no one to answer the door. I'll just have to collect it tomorrow now. On a bad day that would've had me in tears, but I'm having a good one, I'm determined to!

Sitting here in a towel now waiting for lunch to cook and planning a lazy afternoon.

I burnt my hand on the door of the oven. I'm not sure why, but its gone really manky. I burnt my hand on Christmas Day, but thats healed fine, and didn't go anything like this one! I've got some special burn plasters to keep it protected. They are supposed to stay on for 7 days. I've got through 3 in less than 24 hours - they won't stick to my skin! I had this problem with the Nicotine Patches when I gave up smoking - nothing will stick to me!

Glad you feel good after your gyming. That sounds like a nightmare with the water. I need to phone my landlord again, my boiler isn't heating the hot water. Luckily we've got an immersion heater for back up, but its very expensive and akward - have to get up 20 minutes before you want a shower to turn it on. Hope it gets sorted soon.

I know what you mean about the postman. Its good that you aren't letting it upset you. I always used to miss my deliveries as the postman didn't give me chance to get to the door. I wrote a letter of complaint and not had any trouble since. He used to just knock once very quietly, then run away!

Enjoy your lazy afternoon, you deserve it after your exercise!

meyore

feelinggood wrote: »

I burnt my hand on the door of the oven. I'm not sure why, but its gone really manky. I burnt my hand on Christmas Day, but thats healed fine, and didn't go anything like this one! I've got some special burn plasters to keep it protected. They are supposed to stay on for 7 days. I've got through 3 in less than 24 hours - they won't stick to my skin! I had this problem with the Nicotine Patches when I gave up smoking - nothing will stick to me!

Glad you feel good after your gyming. That sounds like a nightmare with the water. I need to phone my landlord again, my boiler isn't heating the hot water. Luckily we've got an immersion heater for back up, but its very expensive and akward - have to get up 20 minutes before you want a shower to turn it on. Hope it gets sorted soon.

I know what you mean about the postman. Its good that you aren't letting it upset you. I always used to miss my deliveries as the postman didn't give me chance to get to the door. I wrote a letter of complaint and not had any trouble since. He used to just knock once very quietly, then run away!

Enjoy your lazy afternoon, you deserve it after your exercise!

OH used to be our postman before he joined the army, but now we seem to have a different one everyday and they get worse and worse. It was only a parcel for OH, so I won't worry as he won't be back until Friday night. Just have to make sure I have it by then.

As well as the cold tap not working, the shower only comes out cold. So you can either have a hot bath or a freezing shower. Its my mums place though, so I can't force anyone to sort it. Shes so disorganised (and believe me, thats bad coming from me!) I don't think shes ever going to get round to it!

With the burn, maybe the air would heal it better than a plaster if its all weepy. Is it a big burn or little?

Xx

Diamond78

Hi Everyone,
I hope everyone is well and good.Im trying to be positive and not sound like such a misrable cow but thats how im feeling so im sorry for not being able to post anything negative.

I have so much going on at the moment.Every time I feel a little good and a little positive there always has to be something that brings you down. I thought I was doing well. Although not in suitable property I have moved away from the ppl that were bringing me down and making me worse.I moved to be closer to my brother so my son could have some sort of male figure and see more of his uncle.I register with the GP and get put on better AD while my current one gets reduced. I book my driving lessons and contact education dept to start a course.To me that is apositive step. Instead of getting support and encouragment from my brother i feel i get abuse.

Ok i know he is righ in the fact I cannot afford a car, by him saying why am i wasting my money on lessons i feel insecure and nervous now about driving so am not doing as well as I should be coz to me i have just wasted my money by booking a block of 10.Ive had 2 lessons and was a nervous wreck.

He said he would see more of my son but he doesnt coz of me moaning,complaining my negativuty and so on and so on. He then asks me if im a paranoid schizophrenic? That has hurt me so much coz I am not and If i was then i would be sectioned and in care and my son would be away from me and in care too.

he knows as my only family I have what I have been trhough.He is educated and knows about depression.How can he insult me and put me down and make me feel so awful??Is that what ppl think of me.Im not a mad woman, im not that crazy(im nice crazy) and im certainly not a risk to anyone and would never harm anyone.

What ever I do in life is not good enough.I feel my son will think the same as I have no job,nothing so am getting no where in life.What has my son to be prouf of about me???Nothing.

My son is happy,outgoing and confident,makes friends easily and is doing well at school-surely soem of that is down to me as im the only one he ever sees apart from his school. I try very hard not to be a misrable cow around him i put on a brave face yet i feel i have no more energy as what else is there i can do?

My son is everything to me, he keeps me going and i am proud of the way he is.like any 5 year old he has his moments but he is not naughty all the time, he is well mannered and majority of the time well behaved.

He has one problem and that he sleeps in my bed but he is to scared to sleep alone and i have tried to help him but there is no way he is sleeping a room with no window or light.I feel safer when he is in my room and next time i explain why then im sure you will all understand why he sleeps in my room and why he gets scared at night.

I have my driving lesson in a bit and really not in the mood to do it.Why is it taking me so long to learn.Im doing automatic and can drive but find the manouvers hard, i have no one to help me,i never have anyone to help me so nothing new there.

I filled in the application form for the course and its been sitting there for 2 weeks now and i still havent posted it,whats the point??Not like im going to get a space.

Sorry to put a downer on the thread guys.I dint mean to , it upsets me knowing there are others suffering from depression mild or severe its not nice and the worse part of it is the thinkinng in the head.I want the thinking to go away but it never does.
Hugs xx

feelinggood_2

Hi Diamond, welcome to the thread!

I don't think you've put a downer on the thread. You've got a lot going on in your life, and I think its a good thing that you felt about to talk about it here.

You mention that you want your brother to have an active role in your sons life. Do you think it would help to schedule some time just for them? Give them a chance to be together, having some boys time, and give you a chance to have a rest and some time just for you? They could maybe take up a sport together, or just have a run around the park.

It sounds like there is a reason why your little boy is scared at night. Have you spoken to your doctor? Has your son talked through his fears? I'm not a parent, but do you think it would help if he had his own bed in your room? That way, he could get used to sleeping in a bed on his own, but with you near by for reassurance?

I know exactly what you mean about the thinking in the head.

Looking forward to getting to know you

feelinggood_2

slowlyfading wrote: »

:hello: everyone.
its been 5 days since I last cut, though it doesn't seem that long ago. I desperately want to do it again, but I'm trying not to. I want to stop depending on something so destructive as my coping method. but its so hard but anyway, one day at a time and all that.
I'm on a diet though, I've decided. I'm a size 12-14 at the moment (depends on the shop) and I want to get down to a size 10. I reckon I'll be happier then. So its just healthy foods for me from now on
hope everyone's okay, and (HUGS) to anyone who wants/needs one.
sf x

Hi SF!

Well Done on 5 days. Thats a great achievement. I know what you mean about being desperate to do it, but your post is so positive. Its great that you don't want to depend SH'ing. Have you got a few things to distract yourself? I've got a list of things I do before I SH. Its written in order, and its just simple things like - watch a TV program, go for a short walk, phone a friend. I try to do these things before I SH. So far, so good. Healthy eating is a great, positive step too. I've seen a great improvement in my mood since cutting out sugar. Keep us informed about how you are getting on, sometimes its hard to resist eating unhealthy things. I find that having a big bowl of yummy apples on hand helps. Fuji apples are my current favourite. I'm a size 18 at the moment. I was a size 24 at my heaviest! I bought a gorgeous size 14 top from the Charity shop yesterday, looking forward to getting in that.

cat9586

Hello all!
Im back! This psych was lovely and very understanding. He says as well as depression I have mood swings, anxiety and sociophobia so wants me to think about having some mood swing medication. Next session is in 2 months and im feeling a lot better!
While I sit here like a child eating jam on toast getting the keyboard sticky, I have a few messages

Meyore - My OH was great he had to leave me there though for a parcel, but was only the other end of the phon

Feeling - Thanks for letting me know Im not burdening you I still find some stuff hard to talk about but then I guess everyone does.

Dawny - I have days when I go into town for particular stuff and come back without any of it and loads of random bits! Milk is the worst! Go into town to get milk and never seem to make it home with it lol

SF - I am so proud of you resisting SH, its a big achievement and you at least deserve a chocolate bar or some fruit Good luck with your diet, Im useless at them!

Tulip - Do you want to do my cleaning too? Please lol I get very angry when it comes to cooking and cleaning, dont mean to just do.

Bigmumma - Hope your knees not giving you too much jip! Loved your garden btw shame it was cold could have been a swimming pool!

Got to go new laptop just arrived,

Love to all
Catherine

feelinggood_2

dawnylou wrote: »

Thanks Feelinggood

I guess sometimes I just feel it is never ending and that I will be passed to another person, and another and another who will all stand around scratching their heads at me!! lol
Counselling is tonight - and no it is not getting any easier at all.
However given that at my last session he made a comment along the lines of feeling helpless and having to have a good long think about what he might be able to do with me in our next session.....well you know if HE feels helpless...well how should I feel???
I just sort of feel that if he doesn't think he can help me then maybe he will give up on me tonight?? So perhaps this will be the last session.
I mean I will keep going if he wants me to as I do want to get better and I don't want to decline anything I am offered as I want to be seen as trying to help myself too.

I'll be thinking of you tonight when you are at your session. Have you told the counsellor that you are worried that he won't be able to help and might end the sessions? Maybe it'd help to mention that to him. Maybe if you say about how you have been worried after his comment, it could help him understand what you are feeling? I've not had counselling for a while, but I suppose I do similar things with my Sponsor. I talk about things that are bothering me. Sometimes she says things that upset me, and I clam up and don't want to talk. She is good at getting me to be honest. Sometimes you've just got to say exactly what is on your mind, even if it feels silly or embarrasing. The other day I felt 'told off' by her, and welled up and cried. Took me a while, but I managed to explain to her that it upset me, and we talked about it, and I realised what she was trying to say and didn't feel upset - I actually felt better. Even if this counsellor isn't for you, it isn't the end of the line. There is actually a lot available to help us, its just sometimes it takes a while to get to see the right person. There is counselling, CBT, pyscotherapy, DBT, medication and loads more I don't know about. If this route isn't right for you, your doctor will recommend something else. Someone will know what to do. Unfortunately, it might not be the first person you meet. I know its hard, but try to keep a little bit of hope. One thing I remind myself when I'm hurting is - "pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth". To get better, I've got to go through this painful time. Lots of love xxx

Diamond78

Thanks for the kind words.Yes my son has reason to be scared.He has witnessed his dad be violent towards me. Aswell as that, the old place i lived in, we had someone break into the garden and vandalise our stuff,we was put throough a hate campaign and also had the house vandalised with graffitti. On top of that app 2 years ago due to a faulty tank my sons ceiling came crashing down.he was sleeping in my bed at the time as my friend was over with her child so my son was in my bed thankfully but with all the comotion going on my son woke up(he was 4 then) and saw the ceiling coming down along with boiling water and recently he saw in the news that the same thing happend to a little baby who unfortuantly died, it must of bought him flashbacks.I always reassure him and tell him we are now safe and ok, i had to leave most of my furniture when we left our old home. He hasnt got his own bed yet but i will be getting him one very soon and put it in my room.