Depression Support Thread

juno

I failed my blood tests

Tulip

juno wrote: »

I failed my blood tests

aw Juno I am really sorry to hear about this,*hugs* I will chat later as I must go out now

Take care ok?


love and light,

Katie xxx

feelinggood_2

juno wrote: »

I failed my blood tests

Sorry to hear that juno. How are you feeling?

Did the doctor explain what the tests show and what it means?

juno

I've got an underactive thyroid. That was the only test I was worried about, coz my mum had it.

elona

Juno

I have an underactive thyroid too and it took me ten years to get diagnosed as the borderline changed just after my first test.

Once you get the levels of medication right you should feel better - it really does help.

On the bright side - you should get all your prescriptions free now as it qualifies for this - you also get any other prescriptions free as well.

I try to think of it as extreme moneysaving..

Big hug and hope things get better soon.

*zippy*

Juno I've got an underactive thyroid too, i've been on thyroxin for a few months now and feel loads better. PM me if you ever want a chat hun. As elona say at least you know whats wrong now and will get the correct treatment :grouphug:

Hi everyone :hello:

Sorry to those who have lost someone close recently :grouphug:

juno

Elona, thanks. The extreme moneysaving thing made me laugh. I guess Martin should be proud of us!

The thing that worries me is that I'll have to be on medication for the rest of my life, and that'll probably be a long time yet since I'm only 21. And the BBC site says it usually occurs over 40.

*zippy*

I'm under 40 too juno, I think its the family history, there is quite a bit of it in my family too. Be careful searching around the internet, I frightened myself to death after spending hours reading everything I could and started imagining all sorts. I think side effects of the tablets are rare, the only thing I had was the first few weeks they made my skin itch.

EthelBloggs

evening everyone :hello:

Sorry Im not around much.. got a lot on at the moment and I'm not feeling too good physically either so it all feels like a big uphill struggle :eek: sometimes I wonder why I'm even thinking about going back to uni again cos I'm not sure I'm going to be well enough to finish.

On the plus side, daughter starts college tomorrow I'm astonished and amazed and dead chuffed for her.. never thought we'd get here but she seems well on the mend and she's raring to go.

Hope you're all fine, take care,

lots of love xxxxxxxxxxx

ps.. stenny can you text me your new number pleaaaaaaaase??!!

JennyW_2

Tiff wrote: »

jennyw!
You're very welcome jenny - I'm sure that you've been made to feel at home already angel.

quote=JennyW
Hi Everyone :hello: I wonder if I could post my situation. I know there are no answers but just to feel reassured that what I feel is normal.
Of course you can hun - they let me on here all the time,, so you've got no problems.
I can't guarantee that we'll make you feel normal hun, as there's no such thing (I don't mean that to sound blase) - it's something we all imagine, that we try to aspire to and that we might all have different definitions of.
But maybe something here can ease your mind hunnie. I want to try anyway and give you a few Tiffy thoughts in the vague hope that they might help a little angel.

3 years ago I lost my father very suddenly and unexpected (I was 36). Without going into too much detail, he went in to have some cancer removed. (from the bile duct). The op was successful and he was due to return home. However there were complications and he had internal bleeding and died. As a family we suffered the middle of the night phone call and rush to hospital. Unfortunately by the time we got there it was too late He left me, 3 brothers and my mum. Dad was our world and it hit me extremely hard. I had bereavement counselling for 2.5 years and only finished in May of this year. My life has never been the same since and I feel as if it's taken a different path. I had anti-depressents initially when it happened but only for about 4/6 weeks - my doctor was very reluctant to prescribed them any longer than this and my counselling commenced 7 months after my dad's death. The early days were very dark and each day I would wake and say to myself "another day to get through". At the end of each day and at bedtime, I would say "I got through today". Anyway, life carried on as it does and each week I would go to my counselling and discuss my feelings and after each year went by, we would discuss other things because my dad's death had an enormous effect on the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry for your loss jenny and I can empathise with you.
I'm sorry your dad had cancer and that the surgery didn't help him in the end hunnie.
I say this a lot hun, but there's no right or wrong way to grieve. It's an unknown quantity. Some people grieve for weeks, months or years.

Sometimes the way we phrase something, can give us little bits of insight into our thoughts.
I notice that you said ''He left me, 3 brothers and my mum.''
It may sound like a really silly thing to start with jenny, but he didn't leave you. This gave a feeling of abandonment to me and implied just how lost you felt without him. And angel, I'm sure that's exactly how you felt - and feel! But your dad so obviously loved you - you know this - and the last thing he would do, is leave you.
Being the only girl, I imagine you felt that much closer to him - almost a special bond, if you will. In your last sentence you said your ''dad's death had an enormous effect on the rest of my life.'', but sweetheart, that book is not yet completely written & the story isn't over yet angel.

It was a terrible shock jenny and it must have rocked your world I know, and I don't doubt at all that it has affected your life. I'm equally sure it felt unbearable not being able to get there in time and that that thought has stayed with you. Your dad passed and suddenly your whole world changed. But hun, it would have hurt just the same way even if you had gotten to the hospital that night.
Suddenly dad's not there any more - and it hurts so much because it was an unforeseen event and you had no time to prepare yourself. Nothing makes any sense. A lot of people will be able to understand these feelings hun because they've had them too. So as far as normal goes, you're right there angel. There's never a right time to lose anyone, let alone a parent. It is a time of huge upheaval because everyone's role shifts and we have to adapt to that while grieving the one we've lost.

Obviously I don't know you hun or your family, but be sure that your dad loved you all very much and that the one thing he knew, that he could be sure of, was how very much he was loved by you. And that's a wonderful thing to have given him.

We all have different views about what happens after someone passes but the fact is, that no-one knows what does actually happen next. That can be a source of comfort sometimes angel. And although it sounds a glib answer hun, your dad would not want you to suffer like this. He'd be the first one to say that he's still with you, loves you and that he wants you to live the best life - the life he helped to create - that you can, for his sake and yours.


Anyway, fast forward to now and I find I'm so scared that I'm going to lose my life suddenly as my dad did and cancer is my biggest scare. I never felt this way before but now I'm so aware of death and how easy it can happen. It makes me feel so sad because I have a good life. I have a lovely husband, a nice little job, a nice home but I feel as if this death worry, or cancer scare just sits over me and takes the edge off my happiness in life. I just don't know what to do to stop these feelings I eat as heathily as I can, exercise, don't smoke - all the things you should do to look after yourself. My counsellor would say that I'm doing everything possible and should take comfort from that but I cant. I even have my cholesterol checked every 6 months just to make sure I'm ok on the inside.
But hun, you're not okay on the inside are you?
Your dad's passing was traumatic for you.
What you're feeling is a common reaction hun, in your situation. It says nothing about who you are, your husband and family, what you have or where you live, this is all about pain and fear.

Time is still very new since your dad passed hun. What I think hun - and tell me if I'm wrong, please - is that now you're desperately trying to look after yourself, to do anything to stop this happening to you and to stop your family from going through the same thing. You say you have a good life but angel, these thoughts are damaging the quality of it, imho. You can't go on frantically worrrying like this - you deserve better. You need support to live and enjoy your life now jenny, instead of focussing on the hopefully distant future's events.

I'm not so sure about the gp's long term reaction tbh. As time has gone on, it would have seemed that you needed more support and I feel that they could have looked into that further for you. You know the right things to say to yourself it seems jenny. Have you spoken to your gp about this angel? That may be a good thing to do - or maybe see a different gp at the practice if you'd rather. It may help to have a more specialised type of counselling? I'm not an expert or any professional hun, but your gp will know of them.

As well as what I've said, you are allowed to howl, shout and cry as much as you want and need to - that's not what needs changing. What needs to change is the fear you feel, and that can be helped hun. I think mastering deep relaxation would maybe help you jenny.

3 years on and I still cry when I think about him, I cant talk about him and cant look at his photo without making me feel so sad and what I've lost. My counsellor said that in time I will improve but no-one knows when.
This is true angel and it would be wrong to give you a time-frame. Equally, you shouldn't expect one - although we all do.

I just don't know how to pick myself up. Outwardly if you saw me you'd think I was fine but inside I still hurt. It's still normal for me to cry at night if I've had a particuarly bad day thinking of him and what I've lost.
And that is allowed hunnie! It's not about losing your dad - it's about loving him and not being able to tell him the way you want to, imho.
If you can imagine taking the fear out of your life, my guess is that you'd be a lot happier. You don't seem to realise that you're a true survivor hun!
It'll take however long it takes jenny, so please don't worry about that. You had your view and role in the world totally changed in one night and yet somehow, you've managed to keep hold of all that you hold dear. You're a brave soul jenny and tougher than you think, imho.

My life is now different. I react differently to things, bit panicky at times, couldn't even socialise for about 18 months after it happened but am a bit better now.
Perhaps theres a good book someone could recommend me?
THanks for any comments.quote
Look at you finishing with positives!
You've recognized that you have certain reactions sometimes but that slowly, you are improving!!! And even more wonderful, is the fact that you're still looking for ways to help yourself.

I do have some ideas for books hun, which I will post tomorrow. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to pop into the bookshops and browse the psychology/self-help section? Sometimes a book will just virtually jump out at you.

Yes angel, life is different. But that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.
I am so sorry for rambling on jenny and I do respect everything you said. I hope something I wrote made some sense.
Have a talk with your gp sweetheart and see what help there is - and if you're worried that you can't find the words, then print off this post to give to them, because you found them very well today jenny.
Please feel free to post whenever - the guys here are amazing and I'm sure have already said what I have said, so sorry for any repetition hun. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us jenny - keeping you in my thoughts angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi tiff and thank you so, so much for your reply. It made me cry - but in a nice way because what you said was so true and touched me. You have made me feel "sort of" normal, in a way that what I'm feeling is natural.

I'm reluctant to go back to the GP because I always feel that I must be strong and 3 years on, I don't want to feel as if I'm "going back" - if that makes sense? Perhaps I could PM you?