Bulying on school bus

susancs

mrcow wrote: »

There are sixth formers on the bus.

They won't take any nonsense if a member of staff asked them to be on the look out. They'd report you as a Year 7 bully if necessary and don't for one second think that they wouldn't. The OP can even ask for a bus "buddy" in the form of a sixth former (but be aware if they are Y12 or 13, they won't be on the bus after June - you're better off getting a Y10 or 11 - who, by the way, will be JUST as intolerant of a little Y7 cocky bully).

If they get caught doing anything further, that's it. Whether it's being banned from the next school trip, or school event. Or whether it's a suspension for bullying, that's the Head's look out. There are plenty of people in schools who know right from wrong, and despite what's trendy to think of teenagers these days, the vast majority will stick up against bullying if they can.

But either way, it stops. You may think the bully lying about their behaviour will work, but in the long term, if confronted, it won't.

Totally agree with you. My daughter's secondary school are very good at getting to the truth quickly in any situation and I would expect other schools to be the same. As you say there will be other school children who are witnesses on the bus so no question of just Ops child's word against the two bullies. My eldest daughter is in secondary school lower sixth form and has been given responsibilities in regard to year 7 children who may need extra help and she is very protective of her charges. In fact listening to conversation these year 7s are kept an eye on and given preferential treatment by most of her sixth form friends too e.g. noted to be in the lunch queue and the year 7 and a friend taken to the front by the sixth former on lunch duty so they get the first pick of the food. The sixth formers also make a make a particular point of acknowledging the year 7 when they go past them which I would think would make any bully think twice about picking on a year 7 child who is friendly with a lot of the sixth formers.

laurel7172

I'm truly sorry your daughter is having this issue, tealady. As others have said, please monitor her online presence in case this escalates into cyberbullying.

So...my twopennorth...

1. Yes, she should try to pretend it doesn't get to her and
2. Report it even if it doesn't
3. Her school should be involved.
4. There are many decent young people in any school. Part of the school being involved should include help to organise sitting near one of them on the bus.
4. As a child at risk of cyberbullying-one word: screenshots...everybody should know how to take screenshots. On their phone, on their laptop...everybody, everywhere. Make sure she knows how. You can't see psychological bruises. But screenshots evidence the blows.

Edwardia

I was bullied at school myself and it didn't stop until a whole class witnessed my bully trying to crack my head open on a block of concrete.

So, I feel it's important to do something ASAP so that the bullies don't escalate things.

If bullies are calling your daughter gay as an insult to distress her, regardless of sexuality that sort of situation can be taken to the police as a hate incident. Telling the school that, may push them into action if they have a laissez-faire attitude to bullying.

If DD has a voice recording facility on her phone, I'd suggest she records what they are saying if she can do so safely.

Think schools which turn a blind eye to bullying are appalling. Young people can end up self-harming and committing suicide over all this and that's tragic.

laurel7172

Yes-sorry Edwardia-I missed that. The school should have a protected characteristics incident file and homophobic bullying (whatever the sexual orientation of the child) has to be recorded.

teawithmilk

Thank you all for the advice and shared stories. Some of the experiences sound appalling- thank God my DD hasn't had anything physical yet (or anything on cyberworld) luckily she is not bothered about social media at the moment. My niece was also bullied on Facebook - very subtley, like girls saying "SOMEONE is SO SAD" and other insults (but no names) and then loads of messages from other girls saying "In box me! In box me!!" and my poor niece KNEW it was her. My sister found out what they had been saying because one of the girls logged into Facebook while she was at a sleepover at my sisters house (on pretence of being my nieces friend!) and my sis saved her password so she could see EXACTLY what they were doing to my niece but as she (my sis) was reading it "illegally" herself there was nothing she could do about it. At least she knew what was going on though.

The main nasty girl, lets call her Jane, has NEVER liked my DD. Don't know why but she has always had it in for her. I'm never going to be able change that.

I don't want DD to start demanding that I drive her to school everyday- that just won't be possible. DD seems OK today- she is at her Dad's but she seems more cheerful.

I wish I hadnt e-mailed that other girls mum now. She might not want to get involved at all, or have her own DD dragged into it especially as (in hindsight) she is very pally with the bullies mum's. Anyway no reply from her as yet. Maybe she has just ignored it.

DD also said that these girls have been saying all sorts of stupid things. Sounds like both of these girls are greedy and spend all their money at the shop buying sweets before school. Then after school they have been demanding food from my DD. DD had an apple (which she had taken a bite out of!!) and "Jane" had said give me some of your food like that apple, and when DD refused they started tormenting her her saying "Thats not very Christian of you" "You'll go to hell" then they said that "Jane" had fainted when she got home the previous day from lack of food and it was all DD's fault for not giving them her food. What stupid things to say!! I would laugh if it wasn't so pathetic....like she expects DD to believe that she would faint and her mum wouldn't know anything about it! Its just all part of an ongoing campaign to make my DD feel small and "got at"

Anyway I will speak to school on Monday, if DD agrees. Although I do feel like going to nasty girls bus stop (they get on at the stop before DD) and giving them some dirty looks!!!!!! or a ticking off!

teawithmilk

And DD was really upset that they had called her "Gay" as an insult- because her uncle is gay and she is really close to him. My DD has a real "rounded" view of the world and these two are just so small minded. Pathetic Pathetic Pathetic.

mrcow

teawithmilk wrote: »

I wish I hadnt e-mailed that other girls mum now.

Please dont' give it another second's thought.

You are not at fault here at all and you have nothing to feel regret about.

Just make sure you call the school on Monday and that you get reassurance that it will be dealt with that day.

It must seem so frustrating having to wait like this before anything gets done, but just try to feel postive that on Monday, you are going to help sort this out for your daughter and put an end to it.

MothballsWallet

OP, have a look through wiggywoo9's thread as someone else posted the address of a website that lets you save an archive of text messages for just such a purpose as providing evidence. I can't remember the name of the site, but it's her thread about her mum trying to interfere with her and her son's life.

red_devil

Stand up to them dont allow yourself to become a victim.

fivetide

Some good stories in this thread and some heart warming stuff.

The school is where to start though, especially if they did try to get her phone off her. Might be an idea to think about a self defence class just in case. Not only for bullying but for anything else, you never know when something like that will come in handy.

As well as here, there are a number of ways to report things and support online. I would look a few up.