Bulying on school bus

thorsoak

DomRavioli wrote: »

As far as I'm aware, the school doesn't have jurisdiction over the buses. Why not teach your daughter resilience, and how to deal with people who behave like animals? Ignorance really is the best policy with any bully, if they don't get a rise out of the person they are bullying, it isn't fun for them anymore.

Has there been any physical violence between the bullies and your child (There's nothing in the OP to suggest there has)?

I had this a long time ago when I was in high school, and if she ignores them long enough, they will go away and find someone else to do it to - I know its not a solution as such because it is just moving the problem, but your daughter seems unable to cope with it - Maybe get her some wax earplugs (amazon) so she doesn't hear it?

Easily said, less easily done DomRavioli ...would I be correct in thinking that you might be male gender?

Girls are less likely to go for physical bullying, but are extremely adept at the verbal bullying - which is far more insidious!

TWM - I'm another for going directly for the school - first thing on Monday morning, I would be inclined to keep DD out of school until you have spoken to Head of Year - even if it means going into school at registration with DD and waiting with DD to see Head of Year/House. In the meantime, look on the school's website and see if they have their bullying policy on line. Looking at this with your DD will show her that you are with her on this - I know its going to be difficult if she is supposed to be with her father this weekend - this is a time when really the pair of you need to be standing full square behind your daughter.

If she is receiving texts from these nasty little monsters, is there anyway you can keep them to show to the school? They need to address the issue first.

Good luck - you can both get through this x

koan_2

Kids being nasty to other kids is nothing new. You could call up the school but chances are these kids will get even more spiteful once they find out that she's got her mum up the school about them. What your daughter needs is a friend (or an ally!) on the bus. It's easy for bullies to pick on a lone person, unfortunately.

egoode

Unfortunately bullying is a part of life and she does really need to try and not show them how much the are upsetting her as it will just make it worse. I know what is being said seems horrible to you but to be honest it seems about the same sort of things that were said when I was at school and is pretty normal and at least they aren't getting violent.

Can she maybe try and make friends with other girls on the bus? That way if they try and bully her she would hopefully have someone else stick up for her. Otherwise she needs to find some good comeback lines that embarrass them so they are less likely to target her.

susancs

teawithmilk wrote: »

This has been going on since September. She is a strong girl and has tried to just ignore them or laugh off their comments but there are at least 2 of them (sometimes a boy joins in)

I know what you mean about putting up with it, standing up for yourself etc. I have always taught her not to be a cry baby but it seems to be escalating. She shouldn't end up in tears surely???

If they are like this in yr7 what will it be like as she goes up the school???

Plus one of the girls has picked on my DD in the past so there is a bit of "history" there...she just never gives up trying to torment my DD and put her down.

Tried to phone the school office but they shut at 3.30pm on an Friday. In the longer term I could get her to swop bus (like from next September) but why should she have to??? it would mean her walking a long distance to another bus stop....and then they would think they had won anyway. If that's the last resort then fine but wondered if there was anything i could do in the meantime.

I just know this is going to end up an awful mess. Why do some children have to be so horrible to others???? She said one of the sixth formers asked if she was OK but no one else helped her.

Your poor daughter, she is only 11 years old and she needs support from the school in dealing with these nasty bullies. She should not have to put up with this ongoing torment on a school bus from 2-3 of her peers. Any half decent school will take these incidents very seriously and there will be no sugguestion that your daughter should toughen up or be expected to endure/ignore the bulling.

RAS

teawithmilk wrote: »

She said one of the sixth formers asked if she was OK but no one else helped her.

Does she know the sixth former well enough to get some protection from her?

And have you checked that the little dears are not cyber bullying as well? My concern with instagram is that if she had an account, they would use it to cyber-bully as well.

susancs

koan wrote: »

Kids being nasty to other kids is nothing new. You could call up the school but chances are these kids will get even more spiteful once they find out that she's got her mum up the school about them. What your daughter needs is a friend (or an ally!) on the bus. It's easy for bullies to pick on a lone person, unfortunately.

Bullies usually rely on the fact that the person they are bullying will be too scared to say anything. That is why as adults we should always encourage children to speak to an adult they trust and rely on that adult to take action as OP is doing by calling the school. I would hope that the school will have measures that can be implemented to ensure that the situation does not escalate.

mrcow

koan wrote: »

Kids being nasty to other kids is nothing new. You could call up the school but chances are these kids will get even more spiteful once they find out that she's got her mum up the school about them. What your daughter needs is a friend (or an ally!) on the bus. It's easy for bullies to pick on a lone person, unfortunately.

Really I don't think so.

I've had to deal with situations like this as a teacher.

In my experience, once a child is confronted with their behaviour and they are told that if there are ANY more complaints about them (at all) in this capacity, then formal consequences will follow, it stops quite quickly.

It all depends on how it's dealt with.

Bullies need to be confronted. It is always the only way to deal with them. OP call the school. The best person to speak with is the Head of Year in the first instance and the Head Teacher if that doesn't work.

For any normal Year 7, a warning from their Head of Year will warn them off suitably. Call them and follow it up if there are any further incidents.

If you have text proof etc, then provide that too.

Mojisola

egoode wrote: »

Unfortunately bullying is a part of life and she does really need to try and not show them how much the are upsetting her as it will just make it worse.

I've never understood why children are supposed to accept bullying that wouldn't be condoned in an adult workplace.

It is good to work out some techniques for dealing with bullying but it's also important for the bullies to be pulled up on what they are doing.

koan_2

mrcow wrote: »

Really I don't think so.

I've had to deal with situations like this as a teacher.

In my experience, once a child is confronted with their behaviour and they are told that if there are ANY more complaints about them (at all) in this capacity, then formal consequences will follow, it stops quite quickly.

It all depends on how it's dealt with.

Bullies need to be confronted. It is always the only way to deal with them. OP call the school. The best person to speak with is the Head of Year in the first instance and the Head Teacher if that doesn't work.

For any normal Year 7, a warning from their Head of Year will warn them off suitably. Call them and follow it up if there are any further incidents.

If you have text proof etc, then provide that too.

What if they deny it? It's one person's word against two or three of theirs. Also, what if the bullies' parents take their side and defend them, saying there's no way their little darling would ever behave like that and that OP's daughter must be telling lies. (You know what some parents are like)

Is the girl being bullied via text? If there's proof like texts and so on, that would be helpful, but that relies on the other kids being stupid enough to bully someone via a traceable means.

nearlyrich

I am sure most parents of bullies would be horrified that their child was causing distress to another child, sadly sometimes otherwise kind children join in the bullying to prevent the same treatment happening to them.. Part of parenting as well as teaching how to stand up to a bully for yourself is how to stand up to a bully for other people. Most bullies back down when confronted..hope this is sorted soon it's not nice to be bullied.