NSK;The Tortoise and The Mad MARCH Hare!!!

dolly84

Ooh, interesting chatter on here today. Me and DH moved in together when I was 19 and he was 20, all our finances have been completely and utterly joint since that day. We have never, ever argued about money, not even about the situation we are in now which I feel the blame for lies more with me than him. If we split up I would be completely stuffed, I have nowt. If I left him with the kids he would be unable to work as his hours are 6 till 6pm so childcare would be a big problem.

I will inherit a fairly substantial amount of money at some point (not wishing this forward or anything) and I would get half the house if we sold it. I'm not sure if DH would be entitled to some of my inheritance though but all that said despite wanting to throttle him sometimes we don't plan to split up.

Today is a SFD and I am hoping to not spend any money until the weekend, I have walked the dog for an hour around the woods and done half an hour cycling, I have a headache now though.

PheoniX

Yes Kat, I am well aware that many relationships dont come to an end quite as amicably but we are on the same page and have everything above board with the solicitor so everything is fair. If one wants to sell down the line then we have a plan in place for that also

Goodness the woman in that freak accident is lucky to be alive

I am reminded each day of how precious life is, how vulnerable we are and how peoples lives and worlds can be turned upside down in an instant we should be thankful for what we have..

luckystarr

Hello All

Loved reading all the interesting posts it keeps it interesting .

I am one who has no contingency plan if me and OH were to split up :eek:

Not having a great run of SFD's :mad: hoping for one tomorrow and thursday.

I have been cleaning and decluttered 3 items from the house (freezer,old christmas tree and a plastic box) so the declutter is on track. :j

struggling to get motivated do any form of exercise want to start running again as really struggling with the gym and tips or ideas would be great.

The plan after paying the £3000 off is save up for a house deposit and overpay the car finance which finishes in 2015. hoping to have the £3000 paid off by August.

I am still struggling to stop the little "treats" like having my nails/eyebrows etc done and magazines which all add up but feel i am depriving myself... just feeling a bit meh

Sorry for the long whining post , Have a great evening all will check in tomorrow

karmachilovething

I think it's important to know you could live on your own. Whether that be by continuing to work to stay employable, or having separate savings or whatever you are comfortable with.

A friend's parents got divorced a couple of years ago. Her mother hadn't worked since my friend (she's the eldest, now early 30s like me) was born. So in her 60s this woman found herself without any money of her own or any experience to allow herself to find work. They sold the house and the money was split, but it is difficult to get a house in the home counties for that level of money now, so she would have to move to a new area where she doesn't really know people. Scary thought, to have given up that much power to somebody.

Another more encouraging story: a family friend when she divorced her husband got to keep the house but couldn't manage the mortage on her own, so downsized. She since remarried and they bought a bigger place, but she told me she deliberately wanted somewhere not so grand that she couldn't pay for it on her own, even though they could afford more, because she never wanted to be in that position again. Smart lady.

karmachilovething

NinjaSavingKat wrote: »

Oh good grief almighty why didn't I think of that! You are a GENIUS KarmaChi - it sums everything up. Being in debt meant I couldn't even afford to buy it never mind go there - genius you are a little genius!! AND I wanted something to sum up my travelling... :T:T:T:T:T

My pleasure Kat, it's the least I can do: give you a good idea

apple_muncher

OK, kat, I shall consider the idea of dh not being able to work. He was made redundant last Aug, but collared a new job end of Dec, so I've done some thinking along these lines already.

Our only debt is the mortgage (and that is because of thw house we bought my mum) and it is where it is due to dh's redundancy money. I've never had to do a detailed Statement of Affairs, but I do feel more knowledgeable about our outgoings, bills, DDs, annual stuff than last summer.

Last term, I was only working 2 days a month; this term and next it is 4. Our lovely neighbour helps hugely as her dd and our dd are in the same class. She goes back to work in 6 weeks so we'll have to use the after schoolclub and pay for it. If dh wasn't working, then he'd do the dd stuff, saving us money.

I currently do almost all the food shopping ( I LOVE IT!!!!!) and keep to a list, but I also reckon dh would enjoy the challenge of doing it for less. If only I could trust him 100% to get gluten free!!

I reckon that we could survive on my 2 day a week income and still pay the mortgage interest. I would insist that dh cashed in all his bits and bobs, and my shares and pay off some more mortgage. Or, depending on how much is was, I might put it into the offset, so it's available. That would reduce the interest payments. And possibly allow for Tilly Tidies.

What else? Reduce bills as much as poss: water, gas, leccy. Probably downgrade the car to a cheap and cheerful version. Or get rid of completely and cycle or bus to work. Sell as much as poss, tho am not sure we have much of value. Certainly dispose of all dh's old and ancient pc stuff (ha ha). Empty loft.

Now, if dh was so poorly as to be unable to do the above, then I'd just have to get on with it! He has life insurance so if the worst should happen, the mortgage would be paid off.

I would try to get more teaching days, or tutoring. I would ensure dh gets all his entitlements.

Does that answer the question?:)

SarahB1989_2

Very interesting discussions here today. A friend of mine got screwed over by her ex-fiance when he kicked her out of the house and then told her he'd never put her name on the mortgage and the money she'd given him was just rent. The OH and I don't have any shared financial stuff, but if we did it'd be a joint account for bills paid into proportionally according to income (I earn rather more than him now, will even out later on) with the remainder of our income our own, not necessarily to have an 'emergency fund' to run away with but just because I'd feel awkward buying myself something from a shared account. My parents have entirely shared accounts, and whilst it works fantastically for them I don't think I could do it - I was going to say it's because of having lived independently with my own finances but my parents married at the same age I am now so that's no reason!

thriftylass

Interesting discussion. We now have life insurance in each others names and that covers the mortgage. We are not married just yet but put both our names on the mortgage and deeds (I've seen them ). But otherwise our finances are separate, i.e. he pays mortgage, I pay childcare and so on. We never thought about having a joint account. He pays more bills and I do the saving (so if we split up I could do a runner with all the savings, lol.) We chose the mortgage and other stuff so that if one of us falls ill or dies with adjustments we could keep up payments. So I'd think I'd be fine in any situation.
We also have private work pension and are each others beneficiaries.

It used to be all based on trust when I lived in his house but now having bought together and having children before getting married I made sure that we are both equally secure.

SFD today, made french onion soup and sat on my bum a lot today.

luckystarr

Hello me again

i have been on a mission and decluttered some of my belongings ... i managed to get rid of 31 ( 20 were books though ) but it's better than nothing will donate the things to a charity shop.

anyway going to have a cup of tea and watch the great british sewing bee

night all xx

stewby

To be honest kat... it would depend how sick I got.

I have specialised insurance that pays off my mortgage if I get critically ill/die. However, I paid extra so even if my mortgage had only £5000 left, I would still get £70,000.
It's called critical illness cover. They were keen to sponsor me and it was only about £8 a month for the life of the mortgage. They like me as I was only 17 at the time of taking out the mortgage.

So depending on the illness, I could be okay. If I broke a leg or something I would be a bit more stuck.

Unfortunately, I imagine it would be a case of the bank of mum and dad until I got better then slowly pay them back.


Positivity... that I will be fine until I have paid off all my debts and have started saving for the fun stuff.