I don't want to be part of your wedding because your mum didn't invite me to hers!

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Me too. :mad: I wish more people would realise it's the bride and grooms day and that it's up to them who they invite.

Absolutely.

My fianc! and I were paying for our own wedding, parents couldn't afford it.

We were very friendly with one of his cousins and his wife, we went out with them every Saturday night.

He had another cousin who I'd never met (we got married 6 months after meeting - not for the obvious reason, might I add ).

We invited the cousin & his wife who I knew as we saw them as friends rather than family, but not the cousin I hadn't met.

It became obvious that there had been a lot of mumbling/grumbling behind our backs about 1 cousin being invited and the other not.
The main instigator of this was the cousin we went out with.

I told him - in no uncertain terms - that as he was not paying anything towards our wedding he had no rights to dictate who should be on the guest list and furthermore, he & his wife were not welcome at the wedding and we would not be meeting them socially in the future either.
We never did.

FatVonD

I think your 'friends' have been stewing over real or imagined slights for some time and not being invited to the other wedding is just their excuse to cause trouble.

They sound jealous to me, you're well rid, you are guilty of nothing other than not realising they weren't quite as good friends as you thought they were.

globetraveller

You have asked her for a reason and now I think you need to not bother contacting them again. Unless, you think there may be another reason that they don't want to tell you- perhaps financial? I would just put it out of your head. Do you long enough to sort out a replacement bridesmaid? Perhaps it would be nice to just have your dd?

hazyjo

My friend went a bit wedding-zilla when her brother's stepdaughter recently got married. She had a massive row with them because she got upset she'd not been involved in planning the wedding and would have loved to go look at dresses, etc with her step-niece.

I seriously had to advise her to keep her mouth shut/think before speaking. I'm sure her step-niece had enough on her plate and her own friends and family members to go to these things with (if she even wanted them there). Because they're Indian, she kept telling me how it wasn't how they did things 'in her culture' and that she should have been invited along to things and was very upset by it all and threatened not to go to the wedding at all (causing more ructions between her and her brother - a constant occurence).

I actually ended up going to the wedding with her and thankfully all was okay.

Seriously, I wish people would just let others get on with it and have their wedding the way they want it. None of their business and I don't feel anyone should be offended by any decisions made.

OP, they've done you a favour.

Jx

aileth

I had no idea you were supposed to invite bridesmaids/friends to dress fittings. I went only with my mum & sister. I had four bridesmaids, so if I was expected to invite them all we would've taken over the tiny little dress shop and I'm sure that would've been very unappreciated.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Absolutely.

My fianc! and I were paying for our own wedding, parents couldn't afford it.

We were very friendly with one of his cousins and his wife, we went out with them every Saturday night.

He had another cousin who I'd never met (we got married 6 months after meeting - not for the obvious reason, might I add ).

We invited the cousin & his wife who I knew as we saw them as friends rather than family, but not the cousin I hadn't met.

It became obvious that there had been a lot of mumbling/grumbling behind our backs about 1 cousin being invited and the other not.
The main instigator of this was the cousin we went out with.

I told him - in no uncertain terms - that as he was not paying anything towards our wedding he had no rights to dictate who should be on the guest list and furthermore, he & his wife were not welcome at the wedding and we would not be meeting them socially in the future either.
We never did.

Good for you! If we'd have had a bigger wedding, I'm sure my Mam would have wanted to invite half the members of the rambling club her and my Dad go to! I do know the people, and I was bridesmaid for one when I was 6, but that doesn't mean they're close enough to me to have been invited.

Georgiegirl256

hazyjo wrote: »

My friend went a bit wedding-zilla when her brother's stepdaughter recently got married. She had a massive row with them because she got upset she'd not been involved in planning the wedding and would have loved to go look at dresses, etc with her step-niece.

I seriously had to advise her to keep her mouth shut/think before speaking. I'm sure her step-niece had enough on her plate and her own friends and family members to go to these things with (if she even wanted them there). Because they're Indian, she kept telling me how it wasn't how they did things 'in her culture' and that she should have been invited along to things and was very upset by it all and threatened not to go to the wedding at all (causing more ructions between her and her brother - a constant occurence).

I actually ended up going to the wedding with her and thankfully all was okay.

Seriously, I wish people would just let others get on with it and have their wedding the way they want it. None of their business and I don't feel anyone should be offended by any decisions made.

OP, they've done you a favour.

Jx

Your friend sounds like a total nightmare!

hazyjo

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Your friend sounds like a total nightmare!

Worst thing is, she NEVER takes advice and we only give it when we know her decisions are totally wrong (and yes all her friends/family feel the same but she won't listen and makes the same mistakes over and over - and falls out with people in the process - and she's still moaning/getting upset about the same things she was 20 years ago (which actually are changeable). Oh well... some people! She seems to have no engage-switch with her brain.

I could tell you far more stories that you'd never believe she's said/done - but seeing as she's one of my 'besties', I will keep schtum lol.

She's mid-50s, btw! Not some stroppy teenager

Jx

Morglin

Looking at her age, isn't she a little old to be a bridesmaid?

Perhaps that's why she backed off.

Lin

hazyjo

My friend's in her 50s, not the OPs

Jx