Finding a job following dismissal for gross misconduct

elsien

Any chance of getting it brought forward?
And stop apologising for something that isn't your fault! It's ok to feel rubbish, it's ok to come on here and let it all out, you have nothing to apologise for. Sometimes it's easier to say things on an anonymous forum that you can't say to the people around you.
Sympathetic virtual wine, chocolate or whatever floats your boat at the ready.

Shazza122

Thanks Elsien. Feel a tiny bit less panicky today but still thinking silly thoughts....I read the article on Catastrophic thinking and it did relate yo me quite a lot...I see homeless people and I think "I could end up like that"....

quidsy

How did u get on at the meeting?

Shazza122

Didn't go to appeal meeting...I just could not afford to take time off from temp job :-((

RiverStar

Hi Shazza,

I wish l had some words of wisdom, l dont but l want to let you know that l feel for you and feel the same way you do. Some days are ok, others not so good. I wonder what the point of it all is...

Its no wonder you feel the way you do, you have been through a traumatic, emotional time. Yes, you found another job but that fear is lingering and you worry if it will happen again.

I'm sure it won't, have faith, you're a hard worker who made a mistake...so what. Its not the end of the world.

Keep your chin up...head down....keep going....you can do it and you will.

(I'm telling myself the same thing too )

Sending virtual hugs your way x

Shazza122

Aww River I take it your situation didn't have a good outcome??

lakes17

Hi Shazza


The only advice I can give is to try and take 1 day at a time. And when you start to feel panicky just remember that it wasn't performance related that lost your job so it extremely unlikely to happen again. Also when I was under enormous personal
pressure a couple of years ago my work councillor gave me this tip to remove the anxiety attacks.


"When you start to feel them coming on start taking deep breaths with your shoulders straight. Close your eyes for a few seconds and visualise a tranquil place". Do this a few times and you really will feel much better.


I'm sure that these thoughts and feelings will gradually disappear by the end of next week.

paulineb_2

Ive spoken about my experiences before. The way I was treated in the workplace made me ill. I was ill with stress and anxiety in jobs for years, well before I went into that horrible job when I ended up sacked.

Yes I thought it was the end of the world when I was sacked and yes I thought how is this going to impact on my future job prospects. It didnt. I had work within weeks. My own mental health took a lot longer to get over, but I had unsupportive GPs.

But I got there in the end. There are always risks in jobs. Ive known people who have loved their jobs who have been made redundant. It doesnt help when youve had a horrible toxic experience. Ive seen the absolute worst of people. Ive seen people who lie to try and get you sacked, people who youve helped, helped get promotion, lie about you in print, I had my desk drawer broken into at work, even my christmas cards opened when staff were trying to dig for dirt on me. I had my bins raked and a letter I had written people who were overseeing one of my jobs, but not sent, sent out to people to try and cause me trouble. My appeal rep had the contents of my desk drawer handed to me even before the appeal panel had made their decision. I could write a book on the people Ive met who wanted to put the boot in.

But along the way Ive also met decent people, Ive learned a lot about myself, Ive stood up for myself every step of the way and even though my mental health was affected and I wish I had never been bullied in any job, I cant change what Ive been through.

People have power over employees and some people can and do abuse that power. When you feel you have been wronged it can be hard to let go of all that. I felt very angry towards one particular junior employee who I had supported through a time when he almost lost his home, I had known him for years, in previous jobs, he then spectacularly put the boot into me.

But the thing is, I can look at myself and think, I tried my best for every single person I ever worked with and managed. And it is natural that you think, Ive been sacked, this is awful, how will I move on.

But it happens to loads of people, the tribunal system is full of people, many who have been unfairly dismissed, when it happens to you, you think its only ever happened to you.

Ive been self employed for the best part of 4 years now and compared to what I used to earn Im skint. But Im happy, you cant put a price on that.

Dare I say it, if you are with an employer who sacked you when they could have given you a warning, then perhaps its for the best that you are out of there, because its really not nice to be working for people who want the worst possible outcome for their staff.

I know my ex bosses tried to ruin me, they made that very plain in dealings with the DWP. They didnt ruin me, they didnt ruin my working prospects and they didnt ruin me as a person either.

You will get through this. Even though the job I was sacked from was rotten in most parts, I still went through a grieving process I would call it, because I had put so much work into the project, so much of myself, time, effort and in the space of a few months, contract ended.

But you get over that. Also, Ive been through other stuff, personal stuff in the last few years that put all of that into perspective, my family have been through some really testing times and come out the other side and really, right now all that matters to me is that they are ok and that I am ok.

You will get through this, you might feel like you wont right now, but you will.

Shazza122

Thanks Pauline.

Does it make any sense that I'm actually terrified of getting a permanent job?? I feel so much safer temping....Permanency makes me feel the opposite of what it should offer....insecure not secure!!!

If you'd said to me a few weeks ago that after such a short time I would possibly have the opportunity of a permanent job I would have been so happy....but now it just scares me witless!!!

I know it doesn't make sense...my heid is a mess lol!!

Orville

Shazza122 wrote: »

Oh thank you all so much. The last few weeks have been hell and I'd convinced myself I was completely unemployable!!

Yes Torry I have been honest with the Job Centre and will be at the interviews...just hope someone gives me a break!!

Out of interest have you been sanctioned by the JC for your dismissal..?