Finding a job following dismissal for gross misconduct

elsien

It may simply be the come down after the relief of being back in work and life getting more back to normal has worn off. You've been on a bit of a roller coaster all round, it's bound to have had an impact. Try not to let it get to you or get into that awful negative spiral of thinking (probably easier said than done). What about life outside of work, can you try to get out and about, meet up with friends, whatever it is you enjoy that will give you something else to think about?

Shazza122

Maybe Elsien. I actually felt physically sick today with the worry. My mind is just in such a negative place at moment and I don't know why. The last time I felt like this was just before the proverbial hit the fan and I'm terrified.

elsien

My guess (although I've not been in your exact situation so I don't really know what it feels like) is that you've been stressed and anxious since all this started and that's kind of become the norm for your body. So when things ease off a bit, there's still all that adrenaline whizzing round and you don't quite know what to do with it. Or you forget how to switch off and relax so you're in fight or flight mode all the time. Which is where the butterflies, sickness and everything else comes from - at least that's how I felt when I was off work with stress some time back.
Is there anything specific that you're worried about? More specific that it all going pear shaped, or is it more a general feeling of dread? Anything that you can do something about - do you feel you're coping with the job or would a bit of extra training and support make you feel better?
Do you know any coping techniques for dealing with anxiety? This is a bit basic but there might be something in there that helps. http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/overcoming-fears.aspx


I personally found that finding things that helped me to physically relax then enabled my mind to switch off a bit better. You're not going loopy, it can be a reasonably normal reaction to a difficult situation, find ways to fight it and give yourself a bit of time.

Shazza122

The job isn't stressful at all tbh. There is a good chance it could become permanent...which surely should mean I should feel positive???..they know I was dismissed so no big secret there but I'm just terrified something else goes wrong and I lose another job etc.

I keep having this image of losing everything....my job, my partner, my house and hitting rock bottom completely.

I feel completely and utterly terrified and as if my whole world is going to collapse.

the_bottler

How life is for a lot of people. Least your seemingly understood on here!


Can't you just think of others worse of then you ? it is what works for me, every time, sad to say but so very true, helps me get up each time but then I have physically faced up to real bad stuff as well (ie. it is something that isn't just in my head as much as well intentioned users on here rather like suggesting)


I could go on but won't, I'm still waiting to have the CBT let alone anything else, still, live goes on

elsien

Shazza122 wrote: »

I'm just terrified something else goes wrong and I lose another job etc.

I keep having this image of losing everything....my job, my partner, my house and hitting rock bottom completely.

I feel completely and utterly terrified and as if my whole world is going to collapse.

It's called catastrophic thinking and it's tied in with anxiety and stress.
http://ptsd.about.com/od/copingwithanxiety/qt/Managing-Catastrophic-Thoughts.htm


I'd suggest trying some of the techniques and seeing if they help you to start to manage how you're feeling and if you're still struggling maybe go and see your GP. I'm sure it'll pass if you give yourself time and learn how to deal with the thoughts but if you need more help in the longer term, the GP can refer you for CBT which I think is quite effective for these sorts of thoughts.
You've dealt with what's happened, got a new job, picked yourself up and got on with it and your life hasn't crumbled, you haven't lost your partner or your house. So if the worst came to the worst and you did lose this job (which you won't) you've already proved that life goes on and you don't lose everything. Keep telling yourself this and remind yourself of the positives rather than focussing on the negatives.

System

It is OK to feel like this. You have been through a stressful time and the current stress and anxiety is your minds way of protecting you. Stress and anxiety are actually a good thing because it is your instinct that is trying to protect you from the worse happening.

However, for you this is going too far and your anxiety has turned into a negative aspect for you. You have a lot going on in your mind and that is causing your judgement to 'cloud'. You must work through these issues one by one until you get to a place where you are comfortable again in yourself.

There are various techniques that you can use to help you. A really good one is to allow yourself a set amount of time per day to be anxious (e.g. 15 minutes). In this time have as many thoughts as you want. However outside of this time do not allow yourself to be stressed or anxious.

Alternatively, ask your GP if there is any help available or look to see if your borough has any stress management classes going on at the moment.

Honestly, what you are feeling is not a serious issue. However if you do not deal with it then it may become a long term problem.

I hope you begin to feel better soon

Shazza122

Well spent the whole day just trying to keep myself together then got thru the front door tonight and went to pieces...

I really wish I could just crawl into a corner and disappear forever.

elsien

Ok, if things are getting that bad then I think you need to get more help than you're getting now. Phone up your doctors first thing and get an appointment. Hang on in there, things will get better.

Shazza122

I have an appointment next week Elsien....sorry to be on such a downer and thank you to everyone with their kind advice, I really do appreciate it.