Daughter's friend

Georgiegirl256

peachyprice wrote: »

Oh, Jesus, this is like pulling teeth.

He's gay, she knows he's gay, even if she did fancy him do you think she would have so little respect for either him or herself as to want to have sex with him?

If he's going to try anything with a girl it's not going to be a girl he's openly gay with, it's more likely to be someone that doesn't know.

It's obvious you don't trust either of them, so better just to stick with what you have already decided, he can't stay over because he is a boy, the fact he is gay is irrelevant to you.

I totally understand what you are trying to say, and for what it's worth I agree with you.

I also think the OP is too bothered about what other people might think tbh.

itsanne

There seem to be several different issues here.

1 Should a boy be allowed to sleep over with OP's DD with only the two of them? The "normal" approach to this is probably to have them sleep in different rooms. There's no reason why this shouldn't happen.

2 If yes, OP is concerned how other people will view her. It's none of their business, but if they are sleeping in different rooms no one is likely to even think about it.

3 Is the boy's sexuality relevant? Only in so far as it makes any experimenting very unlikely.

4 What about group sleepovers? I think you have to let other parents know if their daughters will be attending a sleepover which includes a boy at your house, but you should not say anything about his sexuality. The girls may or may not have told their parents in the same way as your daughter told you, but it's not your business/right to pass it on. As far as where he sleeps at this time, I don't think he needs to be segregated. In the extremely unlikely scenario previously described in which he decided that your DD would be the best person to test himself with, that wouldn't be happening in the midst of a group! However, you may feel more comfortable or think other parents will feel more comfortable if he sleeps separately, in which case just have him sleep separately again.


It's nice to see the lack of homophobia apparent throughout this thread !

Edwardia

If you go on YouTube and search on Larry Stylinson, you will find LOTS of videos made by One Direction fans who believe that Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are in a secret relationship they call Larry Stylinson or just Larry. If you search on Ziam you will find other fan made videos assuming same about Liam Payne and Zayn Malik of 1D as well.

Then there are the Glamberts, the teenage fans of singer Adam Lambert who is openly gay and currently guest starring on Glee. They often have him in vids on YouTube in a secret relationship with his guitar player.

Tom Daley came out and is in a relationship with a man. Jaymi Hemsley of band Union J is out and engaged.

Your DD's world is changing rapidly and for her friend too because next month the law changes and and he'll be able to marry in the future.

These girls probably want to stuff themselves silly, watch romcoms, write steamy fanfiction about band members, listen to music and gossip about the boys he fancies.

Having a gay friend is a positive for your DD because she can feel comfortable with him and feel he likes her for herself and NOT because he wants sex. So treating them as if you don't believe him and that they will hae sex is sort of insulting to both of them.

It's a huge thing to come out, as he has done, so young. As someone who was outed negatively to everyone in my entire family and village by my own mother before I had really come to terms with being bisexual, losing the ability to choose who you tell or not in your own time is horrible.

It's really not up to you yo start discussing his sexuality with other parents. Some of his friends may realise that they have homophobic parents or siblings and therefore not told them about him. If you let the cat out of the bag to parents and he was banned from seeing his friends out of school or beaten up by someone's older brother etc you would feel bad.

It's way way more likely that his female friends are rallying round and being protective of him than any of them are contemplating bonking him.

If it were my stepdaughter (don't have kids) I'd make my decision about 1-2-1 based on what I know of them together. If I needed more time to see them interacting in order whether to decide to trust them in same room I'd say so.

I think it's fair to other parents if it's a group situation to tell them that X will be there, sleeping in another room. It's then their decision whether to allow their daughter to stay over or not.

seven-day-weekend

I would let him stay but sleep separately.

newcook

Would you be this reserved about having her friend to stay if it was a girl that was a lesbian? Would you let them sleep in the same room?

In my eyes, having a gay guy stay over is the same as having a straight friend of the same sex stay over – as long as you, his parents and parents of any other girls are ok with him staying I would let them all stay in the same room

System

I wouldn't have a problem with it myself as long as they kept the door wide open. They aint gonna get up to much with the bedroom door wide open are they?