12-24 weeks pregnant (part 3)

x_missymoo_x

Thanks for the sympathy Princess, I feel like I'm having my own little pity party at the moment! I think I need to look into working with the NHS!

Yes I could potentially come back the week before Oct half term so that is another option which would make it a bit easier on the pocket. I need to ring the midwife tomorrow to see if I can get the MATB1 from her or the doctor before my next appointment so that I can get a meeting in with my Head as soon as possible to enable me to go over my options with her, and hopefully she'll be able to reassure me that its not all so bad!

As for returning, I think I would like to be on between 0.6-0.8 of a full timetable, which would work out as 3 or 4 days a week including free periods. As for childcare, my Mum really wants to look after the baby and has said that she will arrange her job around my hours if possible which would be amazing if this works. She works part time on a week on/week off basis but its split over the week as she job shares, so it may mean that she will move to work set days each week, which apparently her job-share partner and also boss is happy with which is brilliant for us if we can work it out. That would potentially leave one day unaccounted for, however my Dad works from home so that could be another option provided he doesn't have to leave for meetings with clients etc, or if worst comes to worst I'll have to pay for childcare for that one day:eek: Obviously that is our ideal situation and providing that my Head allows me to go to part-time! I have everything crossed that this happens

We also discussed (well, OH did!) the possibility of me working full-time and he would quit altogether as he could potentially still make a decent living on private jobs, however there are many factors here which would cause problems, namely him declaring his earnings/classing himself as self-employed and then the logistics of that coming into account for other things such as the mortgage when moving house. Plus, I do feel that as the mother we should spend more time at home, especially if breast-feeding etc. That is probably a very old-fashioned view nowadays but its one I will firmly stick to!

What about the rest of you?

Princess_kate

Funny isn't it, so many women fought for us to be equal, I've worked hard to get my degree & further myself in my career, now I'm pregbant all I want to do is give up work, stay at home, cook, look after the house & the baby when it arrives! Equality is overrated! Haha!

I currently work shifts 36.5 hours ore week average so some weeks are a lot more than this & then I get days off to compensate, I haven't worked nights for nearly s year as I was allowed to stop when I told my boss the treatment I was having to try & get pregnant, then it worked & she said I could do them again now, my response was no chance & I've got away with it! I'm hoping to return working 3 days, 2 long 12.5 hour days & one normal 7.5 hour, this would mean I wouldn't drop too many hours from full time but I'd have 4 days in total off work. No idea if I will be allowed to do this as we have a massive staffing crisis at the moment, no aided by 5 of us going on maternity leave within 6 months of each other! There is no way I can work the random shifts I do now with a baby & I really don't want to go back to working nights, they're horrific!

Childcare wise, my mum has offered to have the baby for 1/2 a day which doesn't really help but I don't expect Her to really, she's got arthritis and its hard work looking after a baby! My husbands parents are in their 70's so they won't be able to help either, my OH might drop 1 day of work to look after baby that day & then it'll be childcare for the other 2 days. Not really sure how we'll pay for it all with us both on less money & around £400 a month in childcare but people worse off than us manage.

jediquigley

It is very all unknown, mat leave, childcare etc it's hard to completely plan things.

I had a year off with my first which 6 weeks was annual leave, I think I only had about a month when I had no pay at all which wasn't that bad as I actually saved about £2000 to fall back on during mat leave as my husband earns less than me.

This time around it will be harder as I am trying to save money to convert my garage so don't really want to break into my savings during mat leave. So we will have to really tightenour budgets. I went back 3 days after having my first and I will do the same with this one, as due to my downgrading my money will drop in oct 2016 which will be tough. So wo will be looking for a new job.

I breastfed my boy to 19 months and staying off a year really helped, I think I pumped for about 2 months after going back to work and then his feeds naturally decreased to about 2-3 feeds a day.

Childcare I am really lucky, my mum has niall for 2 days and mil for a day a week. He starts playschool for a day in March 2015 and from sep 2015 he will be getting his 15 hours free childcare. Hopefully new baby won't need childcare till I go back in April 2016 when I hope the relatives would help out. If I didn't have family helping I don't know if it would be worth me working. I also run a very small business as a nutritional therapist which I do on evenings or Saturday mornings so dh looks after niall.

millysg1

I get a little extra with my work with full pay for first 4 months. It will be hard for the other 5 months as I'm the main and regular earner (husband has business). But we are saving and will keep saving to make it work.

We have flexi hours at work so I'm thinking of working 3 long days and do about 26 hours or maybe 3.5 days. But I haven't raised this with work yet so not sure how they will feel about it. There pretty good to be honest.

Childcare wise, I'm hoping MIL will agree to have it for one day a week. She would probably offer to do more but they live 30 mins away in the opposite direction to both mine and my OHs work. Then 1 or 2 days in child care. My parents both work full time but my mum does 4 very long days (nhs) and one day off in the week but it is a different day each week so probably won't help.

Haven't chatted with OH about all this yet, just my own ideas, but I may also see if he can do one day a week working from home. With back up from his mum if for the odd week it isn't possible.

millysg1

Listening to you guys you all seem to have everything decided. You all seem to have preferred names agreed, maternity dates, etc all decided.

Me and OH haven't really discussed any of this yet, tho I've had some ideas. It just still feels so long away, only just reaching half way. I feel like I'll change my mind between now and baby coming/time for going back to work.

We haven't even started talking about names yet. I do have almost everything minus clothes and odd and sods but that's because I've had everything donated to me by sister and anything left is put on Christmas list. Personally haven't bought anything and probably won't until baby comes and I'll buy some gender items. Apart from nappies and wipes etc.

We aren't doing anything to the spare room that will become the nursey as we decorated it last year so doesn't need anything. Though not particular geared towards a baby but what does a new born care about how it's room is decorated?

I just feel that after reading what all you guys have been deciding, doing, buying, that I've done nothing!!!!

x_missymoo_x

millysg1 wrote: »

I get a little extra with my work with full pay for first 4 months.

4 months full pay!? :eek:

As teachers we get 2 weeks full, then 4 weeks at 90% before it goes down to 12 weeks half pay + SMP. After that though its just plain old SMP.

Its things like this that really question whether I stay in my job or not. The only thing that would prevent me from leaving is the school holidays. Thinking ahead to when our little ones are in school, being able to have time off with them for the whole of their holidays is a major plus. But the more and more I see and hear about other people's jobs it makes me question whether teaching is really worth it. Obviously I love helping children and seeing them achieve with our help is fantastic, but the work we have to do to get them there is phenomenal. Its mentally and physically draining, we are getting more pressure piled on us than ever before, plus the amount of hours we actually work if you took into account planning, marking, parent evenings and then for us in PE running clubs and afterschool fixtures etc we really don't get paid enough. A scary statistic I saw this year is that 40% of teachers quit within 5 years of entering. I've just started my 5th year this Sept and I can fully appreciate why people leave, and now more than ever I see myself becoming a part of this statistic myself. I think that if my Head allows me to come back part-time on a reasonable timetable I will stay and see how it goes, but if she can't give me part-time then I'll have no choice but to leave.

My goodness, I have been so downbeat today which is unlike me! I apologise to all of you for trawling through my rants and turning the page sour but it feels good to get it all out.

x_missymoo_x

millysg1 wrote: »

Listening to you guys you all seem to have everything decided. You all seem to have preferred names agreed, maternity dates, etc all decided.

I just feel that after reading what all you guys have been deciding, doing, buying, that I've done nothing!!!!

We're only nearly half way through though (and for the first few weeks at the start we didn't even know) so there is plenty of time to get things sorted, don't worry!


I started buying things in earnest when I first found out and after the first scan but I've slowed down now as Christmas is taking priority, but come January we are going to start buying all the big things like furniture, car seat and pram and will hopefully get some bargains in the January sales.

Aunty-Pickle

millysg1 wrote: »

Listening to you guys you all seem to have everything decided. You all seem to have preferred names agreed, maternity dates, etc all decided.

I just feel that after reading what all you guys have been deciding, doing, buying, that I've done nothing!!!!

Aw milly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry but I will send you a big hug! The only reason we have names is because we had a list from before we were married (well, I had a list ) And then when we thought we might be having twins we were suddenly galvanised to think of extra in case we needed two of each!

I can't decide at all about maternity leave - or even if I want to go back after baby is born. No idea. It's our first baby and I would like to have more than one (can't believe I'm saying that after everything! To say I haven't really enjoyed being pregnant yet is an understatement ) So not sure if this would be a good "opportunity" to leave my job and have a break. It depends on money mostly - it's on OH's list to do some sums!!!! (In fact, we were just talking about it earlier this evening) Then again, I may be screaming and wanting to escape from home when baby is a few months!! :rotfl:

Nursery - will be the spare bedroom and we hadn't planned on redecorating this room for years. However, there is (hopefully) old damp on the wall which we really need to make sure is ok so that will have to be done sooner than anticipated. We plan to have 3 white walls and 1 "mushroom" colour which will suit boy or girl and any guests.

And don't even start me on prams/buggies and car seats :eek: lol! I'm sure it seems that everyone else is sorted but I bet everyone is still unsure about ooodles of things!!

Princess_kate

As much as I've thought about these things, a lot, especially about retuning to work is just what I want, not at all what may happen. We have no idea about names, my current suggestion is Monty or Mabel after the penguins in he john lewis christmas advert! We went through the lists of top 100 boys & girls names and can't decide on anything. Plenty of time for that!

For my maternity leave I get 8 weeks full pay, 18 weeks half +SMP, 13 just SMP and can take another 13 weeks to make the year which are unpaid. There is a lot more variation in maternity benefits than I realised.

My SIL is a teacher and my dad always says how good her holidays are, however the last half term she spent the whole week preparing for an inspection, she may get a bit more holidays than me but being told when they are & with planning, marking & preparing for lessons the whole holidays aren't your own I think I prefer my way. I do understand with children how good it would be to have the same holidays, especially he summer, no idea how you deal with that otherwise but I suppose all jobs have their pros and cons!

Trixsie1989

For mat leave I get the standard smp which is 6 weeks at 90% and then the next 33 weeks at normal smp rate which means il be dropping about 800 a month and I'm the higher earner out of me and oh so doing slot of stocking up and saving now to try and balance things out, hopefully will finish mid march and take the full paid mat leave and then il have 224 hours of holiday to use at the end of that so means I should get 11 months off paid and then will look at going back to work after but with the dodgy shifts we work I think il only be able to go back 2 days a week and it may work out better for me to not go back for a couple of,years or to look for something else that's more child friendly.we won't get any help from family with childcare so will need to look seriously at the budgets and work out what were gonna do! Xxx