The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

benhope

Little bit sad this weekend.
I was at dr on Friday to ask to be referred back to fertility clinic (fell pregnant just before our first appointment last year but it sadly ended in mmc). Dr thought it was doubtful they'd see us as we showed we can get pregnant even if it didn't work out. She did say she'd write them but not to get too hopeful.
At 42 I think I've run out of options and although I am very very fortunate to have my ds I really wanted a second child. I guess I always saw myself with two.
Hard not to feel some resentment towards my dh who said for years that it wasn't the "right time" and put me off trying.

Carrot, one of my close friends was the same week as me along when things went wrong for me. She had a dd a few weeks back and as much as I'm happy for her my heart breaks that it isn't me. I have yet to meet the little one as I know it will be difficult not to get upset and it's not my pals fault and I don't want to upset her.
I do feel resentment more and more when I see/hear about folk falling pregnant, although I'm chuffed to bits for any of you guys, especially you PM!
And just to top it all, I know I could really do with getting medication for depression (had it before) but dr is not happy to prescribe as I am still trying to conceive. I've done the counselling thing but it didn't really help.

Sorry, I'm a bit of a mess just now. :-(

codemonkey

Wonder_Woman wrote: »

one of my biggest fears is *whispers* that if we never have children (adopted or otherwise) I will end up a miserable bitter old woman.

Ahem *cough*

good_vibes

Hi all,
Congratulations Pm only just seen was away the weekend. Niceto come back to some good news.
AFM
Had follow up appointment, told every thing went well during the cycle and were trying to work out why it didn't work. They didn't know I had bleeding too early past ET (I did phone them and tell them!!). Most likely caused by depleted or too low progesterone. Was on the Pessary tablets, I know I took them right and still taking them even thou was still bleeding .
They will look at cream next time or injections.
Was in tears for 2 days since appointment, I expect it caught up with me again. Plus went to see my family since it all happened. Got given some money from my Dad for the IVF fund (cue even more tears).
I just need to call them a month before I want to start again. So far October in mind still. Will keep you updated x

Wonder_Woman

Oh Code I didn't mean that as in "because that's what happens to everyone" but just that I personally feel I am already getting bitter about it all.

codemonkey

Wonder_Woman wrote: »

Oh Code I didn't mean that as in "because that's what happens to everyone" but just that I personally feel I am already getting bitter about it all.

I know. I worry about it too.

It's a lot easier to cope with as a fait accompli - once you realise that you can't change it, then you feel incredibly sad for yourself and a bit jealous of others who are able to get pregnant easily, and you still get incredibly resentful of people given the chance who waste it (I work with a woman who does foster care and she was saying that the kids coming her way are increasingly not toilet trained even up to the age of 7) but the bitterness kind of goes away. At least, that's how it went with me. You don't start throwing stuff at kids on buses or women with buggies or anything. :rotfl:

tea_lover

Know what you mean code. Now I know it's not going to happen I'm surprisingly calm about it. Still have the odd moment of panic but far less than I'd thought there'd be.

Gelly123

chickpea wrote: »

Gelly - sorry about your m/c's.

Hhave you asked the GP if you can be referred after 2, or are you just assuming it needs to be after 3?

I ask this because I asked the GP to be referred after my 3rd m/c in Feb and she said they would have referred after 2. So it doesn't hurt to ask if you haven't already.

In the end, I was referred to the specialist after 3, but got pg again before I had an appointment - and then she wouldn't see me while I was pg.

I was convinced my problem was low progesterone, but the GP wouldn't prescribe it, she said it had to be a specialist who prescribed it - bit of a Catch 22!

So I bought some Cyclogest from a certain well-known online auction site - and it - or something - worked, I'm now 16w after 3 m/c in 6 months (and 4 and a half years fruitless TTC before then).

Are you taking low-dose aspirin?

xx

Thanks Chickpea - I haven't spoken to my GP as it's hard to get an appt with her plus I'd hate to "waste" an appt. We were told by the EPU that it has to be 3 MC's before they'll do anything about it but I guess I could ask the GP too - Will give them a call shortly to see if I can get a telephone consultation with her.

I haven't been taking anything other than Vitabiotics pregnacare for couples and then post conception, pregnacare plus with omega 3. I did ask about taking low dose asprin after the last positive pregnancy test but was told I shouldn't do anything until I'd had a referral from the midwife - turns out they wouldn't refer me as I'd only had one MC before that.

Will call shortly and try to find out - nothing asked, nothing gained I guess!

Gelly
x

lisawood78

13 years TTC, 10 IVF's, no children and no tubes. No surprise pregnancy for me on the cards...

view

lisawood78 - I hope you weren't offended by my post, I know everyone's story is different, wasn't trying to be gloaty so hopefully that's not the way it was taken.

codemonkey

4 years TTC, DH has a zero sperm count. No chance of a surprise pregnancy here either.

view - don't worry. Your post may be useful to the ladies strcongrats with unexplained infertility. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and congratulations.