Step-children. are they "yours"?

Padstow

DKLS wrote: »

No its not sad, its was a massive weight off my shoulders.


She has a mother and a biological father (well I assume she is still alive I haven't heard a thing for about 8 years)


I sleep very well thanks.

I didn't realise she had a biological mother. If you mentioned it I must have missed it.

I still think of a step-mother in the original way which meant the birth mother being dead. The step mother raising the child.

Another term I find confusing is "partner." It started off as being a spouse in all but a marriage certificate. Now some refer to their partner, only to find later in the conversation, actually it's their date of two weeks who's still living with their parents.

A death notice I read recently mentioned a daughter in law, when the son is not married. How can she be "in law" then? Surely the term is the clue?

Maybe I'm showing my age in how the English language is changing so fast, I find it hard to keep up.

I must admit, that even using the original meaning of a step parent, it would be difficult to maintain a relationship with a child if there was animosity with their parent.

Did anyone see the Daily Mail article by Chris Packham writing about his "step daughter"? I'll edit in in for those who haven't read it. Glad I had the tissues handy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2550548/The-step-daughter-taught-love-BBC-presenter-Chris-Packham-bond-never-thought-possible.html

hgotsparkle

My stepdad always refers to me as his daughter, and though I don't see him as my dad, he did pay for everything I needed when growing up and does frequently offer to pay for things when he knows I can't afford something so I have no problem when he does this and never correct him on it as it just shows he cares.

I don't have kids - or stepkids, but if my OH did have kids from a previous relationship then I think honestly, I would struggle to see them as my own.

Bella73

Oh sunflower. I don't children but feel that if couples meet and either of them do then you have to embrace them as your own. I appreciate it can be trying depending on the circumstances but think that your OH is totally out of order.

Buzzybee90

Padstow wrote: »

I didn't realise she had a biological mother. If you mentioned it I must have missed it.

I still think of a step-mother in the original way which meant the birth mother being dead. The step mother raising the child.

Another term I find confusing is "partner." It started off as being a spouse in all but a marriage certificate. Now some refer to their partner, only to find later in the conversation, actually it's their date of two weeks who's still living with their parents.

A death notice I read recently mentioned a daughter in law, when the son is not married. How can she be "in law" then? Surely the term is the clue?

Maybe I'm showing my age in how the English language is changing so fast, I find it hard to keep up.

I must admit, that even using the original meaning of a step parent, it would be difficult to maintain a relationship with a child if there was animosity with their parent.

Did anyone see the Daily Mail article by Chris Packham writing about his "step daughter"? I'll edit in in for those who haven't read it. Glad I had the tissues handy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2550548/The-step-daughter-taught-love-BBC-presenter-Chris-Packham-bond-never-thought-possible.html

Partner - people seem to use this term interchangeably with boyfriend/ girlfriend, especially if they are older. I find the term repellent to be honest. I have no idea why but whenever I hear it I just think of divorcees having a boyfriend/gf. My boyfriend will remain so until we get engaged!

I am guilty of the second one though, although we say out law to avoid this, it's just easier than my boyfriends mum, or dad.

Person_one

The word 'boyfriend' feels a bit juvenile past the age of about 25.

KxMx

My Dad re-married but I see his wife as his wife, not my step mother.
We do live in different countries though and have never met.
Likewise her kids are not my brother and sister as my Dad likes to make out, I refer to them as his wife's children, sometimes his step children. Their bio dad is around.

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

The word 'boyfriend' feels a bit juvenile past the age of about 25.

I agree but what would you call someone you'd been seeing for a month or two?

FBaby

I don't children but feel that if couples meet and either of them do then you have to embrace them as your own.

But isn't that a bit of an idealistic view? When it comes to feelings, especially extreme one, you can't force yourself to embrace. You either love someone or you don't, you can't make yourself love someone just because you should.

What happens if a couple fall madly in love, everything is perfect between them, they get along with the respective children, but happen not to feel towards them as they do towards their children? Should they go their own way and try again with someone until they don't only find their perfect partner but also fall in love with their children? Also, how do you consider that love often comes with time?

All I have asked of my husband is that he respects both my children's needs, and my devotion and dedication towards them. I'm already grateful that he has chosen me and was prepared to give the above rather than chosing a woman who didn't have any children. I don't think it would be fair of me at all to expect that he loves them too, and that before I even considered spending the rest of my life with him.

daisiegg

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I agree but what would you call someone you'd been seeing for a month or two?

Beau? Suitor? Wooer? Swain? Squeeze? Current flame? Sweetheart?

Buzzybee90

daisiegg wrote: »

Beau? Suitor? Wooer? Swain? Squeeze? Current flame? Sweetheart?

:eek::eek::eek: