Left out of family holiday

duchy

So for eight years you've had no holidays and they've got used to the idea that holidays aren't a priority for you. You probably weren't even earning when the idea was first broached as most people don't just book a first trip to Florida but talk about it for a while first...it could have been been in the "when kid X is Y age and old enough to get more out of it we'll go" so maybe a couple of years.
Your circumstances have only just changed.

Instead of asking a bunch of strangers who don't know your family...why not pick up the phone and say "Hi Mum - Your Florida trip sounds fantastic and it's somewhere I've always wanted to go-Now I'm earning it might be do-able-What do you think?" and see what she says. Worst she can say is no-and you can continue to feel rejected (so no worse off).... best is she's delighted that you feel stable enough in your new job to commit to a holiday (two months in most people are still on probation and wouldn't want to make such a big commitment until sure of the job)

Person_one

sillysid wrote: »

I think it might be like jinty271 says...one kid goes free with 2 adults...plus I'm sure your sister would benefit from help with kids from your parents, disneyland is tiring. And perhaps they thought with you being young, free and single, a family hol with kids would be last thing you wanted.

What is with this strange assumption that single people aren't interested in the children in their families?

I'm an aunt, I know loads of other aunts and uncles with no children of their own. Most of us adore our nieces and nephews, and love spending time with them.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

What is with this strange assumption that single people aren't interested in the children in their families?

I'm an aunt, I know loads of other aunts and uncles with no children of their own. Most of us adore our nieces and nephews, and love spending time with them.

I wouldn't think anyone choosing to go on holiday with nieces /nephews /family was odd. But I wouldn't assume they would want to go either.

One of the perks of travelling as a single person can be going to non family friendly places to experience things some are nervous of exposing children too, or that become more uncomfortable with young children for example.

What I am trying to say is I don't think the 'assumption' that a family holiday might not be a key priority is the same as assuming that the kids/family aren't loved and that people don't enjoy spending time with them. If, inversely, someone chose to spend their vacation time NOT with their family but rather on holiday somewhere with friends or a solO travellor in I wouldn't assume it meant they didn't love their families!

DKLS

Person_one wrote: »

What is with this strange assumption that single people aren't interested in the children in their families?

I'm an aunt, I know loads of other aunts and uncles with no children of their own. Most of us adore our nieces and nephews, and love spending time with them.

I am also an Uncle, and love spending time with my nieces and nephews BUT not for longer than a weekend.


2 weeks with my little rellies no way.


Thankfully we have never been invited to their summer holiday so its never been an issue.

Kynthia

Saturnalia wrote: »

I should ask. But I just don't know what to say to any of them. I'm so upset. And no way am I begging to go. I wasn't asked - they don't want me there. They were even cute enough to keep their hol of a lifetime top-secret until the booking was made so I didn't get a chance to ask to be included.

You've made loads of assumptions about them not wanting you to join them and them waiting to tell you until it was too late to include you. Perhaps they've made assumptions that you can't afford to go, you aren't into foreign travel and wouldn't want to go on a kids holiday. Until you ask them you will never know and you'll be unhappy. Can asking them really make you as unhappy as you are now? So what have you got to lose?

Saturnalia

My parents called me tonight so I got the chance to ask them.

They said that my sister and BIL had mentioned a couple of times they were looking at holidaying in Florida (just the 4 of them) but nothing further was done. Then late last week they said they had been looking at villas and if the 6 of them went a 3-room villa worked out cheaper than a hotel for 4, so were my parents interested in going? They were very surprised but pleased to be asked, said yes... then a day or two later my BIL went into a travel agent to get quotes and booked it on the spot.

My parents were sorry I felt left out but said it had all happened so quickly they hadn't really had chance to think about it themselves, let alone think of asking me too, and it had all been sister and BIL's organisation, nothing had been discussed. In fact my parents don't even know where they are staying or anything about the trip yet! They know the flight dates and that it is in Florida, and that's it so far!

I said I fancied going and would it be okay if I went there under my own steam and spent part of the holiday with them, and my mum sounded quite excited and said it would be great if I could and the family could be together. I'd been looking at prices today and I could get a flights and B&B package for the week for not much more than a holiday in Southern Europe would cost.

So I've still got to ask my sister but if I'm not joining in on their booking they can't really say no! Just need to find out the when and where.

In fact it could be even better going solo and meeting up. My own bolt-hole if the kids are playing up, my own bathroom, I can shop around for cheaper accommodation (I'm not fussed about swanky hotels, how much time do you really spend in the hotel?), enjoy the nightlife if I please without worrying about waking the little uns when I get in, can fly from my local airport not theirs... and to be MSE, paying my own way rather than dealing with the couples v. singles bill-split.

Needless to say, feeling a lot better about it all.

And it has struck me as funny how in some of the replies people have thought I didn't have holidays with the family before because I wasn't interested, when I'd said I'd never got to go due to lack of money not lack of interest - and if that is how garbled things get when it is all written clearly, it goes to show how much worse miscommunication can get when nothing is said and assumptions are made!

Mojisola

Saturnalia wrote: »

My parents were sorry I felt left out but said it had all happened so quickly they hadn't really had chance to think about it themselves, let alone think of asking me too, and it had all been sister and BIL's organisation, nothing had been discussed.

I said I fancied going and would it be okay if I went there under my own steam and spent part of the holiday with them, and my mum sounded quite excited and said it would be great if I could and the family could be together.

So glad you talked about it - have a lovely trip!

graspandsave

Well you have the answer, by asking rather than fretting playing it over and over in your mind. Great.


So glad its worked out well and I'm sure you'll have a great holiday with you family. ( tbh I'm a bit green with envy!)

duchy

I am really glad you asked

I've done this in Florida - joined for part of the holiday and done my own thing for the rest of the time. Orlando is really spread out especially some of the villas don't have hotels really close by so you might want to think about car-hire so you have the freedom to join/go off as you please- Once you know where the villa is you can make plans. Although the Orlando thread here is good I suggest you take a look at http://www.thedibb.co.uk/ especially the forums which will tell you absolutely EVERYTHING

There are loads of motel style hotels in Florida which are really cheap -the most expensive part of the holiday to be honest are the park entries.

Several years ago a friend and I had planned to go to Orlando but I changed jobs and it didn't happen so she and her son went with her parents. I dropped them off at the airport ..... went home , thought about it -and then got a cheap flight out for their second week. I got a cheap flight and booked the hotel seperately direct with the same hotel -it was on International Drive so lots of shopping and eating places at non Disney prices and the hotel had a free shuttle to all the major parks which saved on car-hire.

Georgiegirl256

So glad you got it sorted.

Now you can start planning, that's all part of the fun!