Left out of family holiday

lostinrates

I'm definitely thinking its an assumption you wouldn't be interested OR an oversight based in part by the habit set that you haven't joined them in the past.

Its not that common a single but doting young aunt would choose Disney and her family over a holiday somewhere more exotic or , dare i say 'adult' with that sort of budget

It may well be possible to add you to the booking, call and talk. But I wouldn't assume its negative, it might be they are thinking that you with your great job and ambition to 'travel' wouldn't be at all interested in a holiday break in Florida.....

marisco_2

It would seem that taking holidays together isn't a new thing for your parents, your sister and her family. Have you ever given any of them any indication previously that you would like to join in with this? You say the children are young. Are they under school age? Do you have a job that only permits travel in the school holidays when prices would be at their highest?

The only way to resolve this would be to talk to your family openly and honestly about how you feel. Maybe they just think that as you are an independent adult living some distance away, and only see them every few months that you are happy leading your own life, and would be too busy to wish to tag along. I doubt they are being purposefully thoughtless or wishing to leave you out.

balletshoes

Saturnalia wrote: »

I haven't been invited in the past. My family are aware of what my financial sitch is and my mum is of the opinion that it is better to not ask than to put me in the position of having to say no due to funds when I know they know I'm skint... They're also aware that since starting work 2 months ago, I'm on a good wage and desperately want a holiday. I've said all along that travel would be my first big spend.



Yes they are going to Florida and are all excited about doing Disney. I would be interested in going there - I went to the Paris one in my 20s and loved it, it would be even more fun with the kids, besides I don't mind going off and doing my own thing at times, I'd be happy doing that if they were at Disneyworld all day every day. I'm sure they'll be visiting Epcot and that is definitely on my must-see list. Huh, maybe next year.



I'm single and there is 3 years between us. I'm trying to convince myself that, that they made the assumption I wouldn't want to go, but I can't fathom how they would have got to that assumption? If they know me at all they would have realised I would have jumped at the chance.

I'm probably the only childfree adult in their circle, maybe they think I wouldn't want to be around the children on holidays? But I love spending time with my nephews. And our then-single and childfree Auntie often came on family hols when we were children.

No idea!

instead of being hurt and left out - if you want to go, why not just ask your sister and parents if they mind you going too? Its 8 months away, you have plenty time of sort out travel and accommodation etc so you can be there with them.

I think they have probably assumed that as they all used to go away on holiday without you before the kids came along, and you've only just started your new job, that you wouldn't have wanted to be put in the position of being asked and not being able to afford/not wanting to commit to such a sum of money for a holiday so soon into your job.

Don't let it fester - if you want to go, speak up!

Mayflower10cat

If my parents booked a holiday with my sister, her husband and the children, I wouldn't think anything of it, to be honest! (In fact, if they'd asked me, I'd have been thinking up excuses not to go....!)


Just say to your parents, or your sister, 'I'd LOVE to come, too.' I'll bet they had no idea you'd want to go. And I'm sure they'd love you to go, too. Get it booked!

Grumpygit

I agree with Marisco.....if it's something they've always done, why would they ask you about this one?

How far away do you live?

OH's mum has been away with his brother, sister in law and their children before now and we've only known about it after it's been booked - however, we live 600 miles away and have always had separate holidays (although too many have been spent with them back in OH's home town).

I wouldn't have said that it's down to malice they probably just didn't think that you would go.

If I was in that situation, I wouldn't ask to join them, just maybe a remark along the lines of "oh am I not invited then?" just to see how they react.

But it's down to you and how you want to handle it.

sassyblue

OP, if you'd like to go, ASK!

If you get a lukewarm response then ask why.

Hopefully they assumed (wrongly) you wouldn't want or afford to go....

Good luck.

Georgiegirl256

If you're fairly close as a family, you should just be able to ask them outright and tell them that you're not happy about not being asked.

If you don't say anything, you'll just stew on it.

bagpussbear

Just ask them. Sounds to me like they still think you cannot afford it and don't want to put you in a difficult situation of asking and you having to refuse.

How long have you been working? If only for a few months since they were arranging it, they may have just assumed you still wouldn't be able to afford it.

What's the relationship like with your sister? could it be she doesn't want you to come?

If not, then just ask and let them know that you desperate for a holiday after 8 years.

sexki11en

It's really no good asking a load of strangers on the internet why you weren't invited - only your family have the answer. We can all speculate all we like but ultimately can't give you the answer.

I would be phoning back and asking if there was a reason you weren't invited. There's no need to be confrontational, just say you've been thinking since you spoke and the more you think about it, the more you are feeling left out.

SK x

*Louise*

So many people on these boards upset about things but no one ever sees to just sit down and talk to the relevant people.

If you're wondering why you weren't invited - just ask. There could be a few different reasons, and I'm sure they will either explain or feel bad that they haven't invited you.

Ps - My mum is off on holiday with my sister and her family to Florida - we weren't invited, but if I was upset about it ad wanted to go, I would be asking what the deal was