Money and Me - A Love/Hate Story

in_need_of_direction

Omg, am I the only one who gets panicky before people come round? Even when I plan and invite, I still worry if the house is good enough, clean enough, organised enough etc. yet you lot talk about relaxing with friends

Busymumofthreeplusdog

INOFD me too!! Suddenly start seeing faults/dirt that never noticed before!

AGirlWrites

Phew I made it, just spent the last hour I should have spent trying to catch up on my sleep for work tomorrow, reading your diary from start to finish. Slinky (how i've been reading Skinty for some reason, haha) you are awesome and this diary is a hoot! Bit too young for the 80's references but I do love a good power ballad. Subscribing for sure!

Shortie

skintygerlinky wrote: »

Sooooo - the cash has gone, spent, disappeared. But once again, oh for God's sake Skinty, it's the bloody attitude that's done this. I've talked myself into recklessly flashing the cash. I've not checked my bank balance all week, which is a habit of old. This is a strange one - it's almost as if I have a split personality - reckless me thinks 'oh god best just spend' with a slightly out of control attitude, expecting 'sensible me' to pick up the pieces later, checking the disappearing money that's left.

Does that make sense to anyone here?! Or should I ring the nice people to come and take me and my split personality away?!!

Okay, so finally sat down for long enough to catch up on diaries...

I can definitely relate to this, though I don't do it thinking my controlled self will pick up the pieces, more that for some daft reason I rebel against the frugal me and the spend thrift me comes out big stylie and undoes all the hard work of the saving.

Take this month for example - for the first time in a while I now had a little bit of pure spare money for the month that wasn't allocated somewhere to something. And so far I've spent more that half of it on reduced pressies to put aside for the kids birthdays and Christmases. Not that I begrudge them the pressies. Not at all. And in the long run it's money saving. But I now have a lot less spare this month. And then to top it off I've decided that "blow it, I'm going to buy something for myself" so I've practically now spent what little money I have left on a 2nd hand Wii (only £20 as cheap as chips) so that my original Wii that has ended up in the DS2's room can stay there and I can go Zumba and Just Dance downstairs without all the faff of setting up downstairs and then back upstairs.

Siiigghh.... seriously - what planet am I on?

girlatplay

skintygerlinky wrote: »

...Listen, appreciate we're all different, special and unique here and I love you all.. but I'm not having any Jim Davidson in here, is that OK?...

Absolutely fine with me.

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Omg, am I the only one who gets panicky before people come round? Even when I plan and invite, I still worry if the house is good enough, clean enough, organised enough etc. yet you lot talk about relaxing with friends

I totally panic. Not just you. I am the messiest person I know. I have to start organising about a week beforehand and still have managed to stay up until 4am the night before, on an occasion, and it still wasn't as good as everyone else's. They tell me that they are there to see me and each other, not to inspect my house but I really feel it should be inhabitable when they come around

Shortie wrote: »

I can definitely relate to this, though I don't do it thinking my controlled self will pick up the pieces, more that for some daft reason I rebel against the frugal me and the spend thrift me comes out big stylie and undoes all the hard work of the saving.

I thought THIS when I read that 'more, more, more' being the spending!


Skinty, what are your goals? I think you need to set yourself some small, achievable goals to give yourself something to work towards. I know that ultimately you would like to have your own place. Why not work out how much you need in total, then set yourself little challenges, e.g. if you need £10,000 then set your first goal at £1000 and work towards that. It's a slog but it's easier when you break it down into smaller chunks.

What happens when you get your Masters in music? Do you want to teach? Could you make some extra cash out of private lessons in the meantime? Another MSE forum member whose diary I have read makes some extra from teaching. Have you made plans for what you will do afterwards?

Ooh, got a bit serious there. I wish we all lived near each other. We could have an '80s Power Ballads night at someone's house where we all get dressed up and bring a dish and bottle each!

RainbowBridgeReturns

But whose house girlatplay? I'm with the rest of you, guests are stressful, but without them I am not sure my house would ever get a deep clean.

My stepmother and father visit me twice a year, for a week, and she is the most house proud person I have ever met. I spend a whole week in preparation and yet still I have known her to wash out my cutlery drawer because she has spotted a crumb in the tray. Another time she organised my kitchen cupboards, disgarding things she thought were not fit for purpose, without asking me! My last two presents from her were a mop and a new Brabantia bin!!!

At first DH and I thought it was a terrible imposition, but now I realise she has saved me and the house from terminal decline x.

girlatplay

RainbowBridgeReturns wrote: »

But whose house girlatplay? I'm with the rest of you, guests are stressful, but without them I am not sure my house would ever get a deep clean.

My stepmother and father visit me twice a year, for a week, and she is the most house proud person I have ever met. I spend a whole week in preparation and yet still I have known her to wash out my cutlery drawer while she is there, because she has spotted a crumb in the tray, and organise my kitchen cupboards, disgarding things she thinks are not fit for purpose.

At first DH and I thought it was a terrible imposition, but now I realise she has saved me and the house from terminal decline x.

If I start cleaning now we could make it my house! Yes, it's the only time my house gets a proper clean too. Perhaps you could send your stepmother to my house first.

skintygerlinky

Evening all xx

Quite a bit to discuss tonight!! As a heads up, this first post is a quite sad - I've been to a funeral today. So if anyone wants to skip this post and head down to the next one that's absolutely fine! I'll see you in a min xx


I've hinted in here (I think) and deffo on the Frugal thread that my family are going through a bit of a rough time recently and that's basically because my mum and dad are just losing so many family members and friends just now. They've been to so many funerals already this year. They put it down to their age, which is nearly 70 which on paper is too young to be losing the majority of their loved ones but honestly - even in 2014, up in this neck of the woods (N/W England) it just isn't. Life expectancy here is still depressingly low here compared to some other areas.

So today it was my fave Uncle's funeral. The service itself was very sad but once everyone got back to the club it was different. We were sad but enjoyed each other's company! My cousins had made loads of photo collages of their dad and mum (who is also terminally ill ) and all the family and their friends. They were hilarious!! Some serious sideburns knocking around my fam in the '70's!! And LOADS of Princess Di hairdo's (or George Michael circa 'Careless Whisper'; both styles were interchangeable!) in the '80s!!
Even though the circs were sad, it still felt good to be amongst the gang I've known forever. Unconditional love was the order of the day, good banter, an inevitable sing-song (Elvis and the Everley Brothers on heavy rotation), some tears for those who weren't there and huge bear hugs - the kind that just feel right when you're amongst those who know you inside out. Whether you want them too or not !

I guess it's inevitable that days like today make you realise how fragile everything is. Ohhhhhhhhhhh life is too short isn't it??

So, we've established that. So, what do we do with the time we've got?? I guess we just have to be nice to each other and to ourselves!! It's something I've been trying to do over the last few months. Hopefully I'm learning to treat myself with more respect - this ABSOLUTELY goes hand in hand with finances too.

I've felt, recently, that I'm giving myself another chance - trying to do right by myself. I'm appreciating myself!

Deep breath.........I think I'm alright. I'm still trying this on for size, but I'm slowly getting there. I think I'm an alright person.

I usually post a tune a day in the Frugal thread but I'm feeling a bit vulnerable tonight so I think I'll just stay in here. There's ALWAYS space for a tune though - think this one is apt today! An emotional rendition, fab performance at one of my fave places in the world: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcZNOdXcUSY

Thanks for reading, if you did!! Business as usual in the next post. Sorry for getting heavy and serious. Guess sometimes it's gotta be done!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

skintygerlinky

Evening again!! xx

Right, I can't multi quote; how do you do that? girlatplay, you do it so seamlessly!! Can you teach me? I want to copy off you and be seamless. I shall multiquote and people will say 'look at skinty, doesn't she multiquote seamlessly?'
An I shall nod, serenely, and say 'yes, I learned from girlatplay'.

Meantime, its not happening, so bear with gals.

AGirlWrites wrote: »

Phew I made it, just spent the last hour I should have spent trying to catch up on my sleep for work tomorrow, reading your diary from start to finish. Slinky (how i've been reading Skinty for some reason, haha) you are awesome and this diary is a hoot! Bit too young for the 80's references but I do love a good power ballad. Subscribing for sure!

Hi AGirlWrites!! Thanks for your nice comments and for reading! xx
I'm afraid I'm very much Skinty. It is of course my aim to one day be Slinky and I think I will even wear Lyrca when I get there. I shall multiquote slinkily!!
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Sarahb is also a young 'un - maybe you two can find some modern day power ballardeers to join the Frizzy Supergroup we've got going on? Fresh blood always welcome - feel free to post any vids!!

skintygerlinky

Re: tidying up and stressing over having guests over, from my point of view it really depends who is coming over. If it's people I've known for yonks*, then I will make an effort to make the place look nice, throw some nice food together etc and really enjoy the night.
(*quick aside - how long is a 'yonk'?)

New friends, boyfriends family etc have been a prob in the past - very stressful!! Usually this is me being a div and putting pressure on myself but also it's worth remembering that it doesn't matter what you do, some people just won't be appreciative.
Thankfully I've come to realise that that isn't our problem - some people really are just rude, unfortunately. Well, sod 'em! You can only ever do your best.

We could all sort this issue out right now by sending RainbowB's step-mum over to girlatplay's house to tidy up and then we could all pile in with our food and drink and hairspray and do our Pat Benetar dance!!

God. That would be ace!!!