Money and Me - A Love/Hate Story

Busymumofthreeplusdog

*Shimmy shimmy side step side step*

First question - seldom do pub now! Tends to be lunches/coffee&cake. Since Christmas if there's a suggestion to meet up I've offered to make lunch instead. Works out cheaper for me I reckon as I don't have the drive into town and I can make soup, hm bread & cake for cheaper than coffee&cake or lunch at cafe in town! I'm hoping for some return invites soon though!

I think many people are finding themselves in the same boat. Ie that their income doesn't stretch anywhere near as far as it used to. So that kind of answers your 2nd question. I think we, as a generation, expect to have cars, houses and gadgets and sadly it has been to easy for us to obtain these without having the money upfront. Our parents would have saved for something before buying it!! So in some ways it is harder for us due to our own skewed expectations of what is really important in this life. There's quite a few things I'm now wishing I hadn't splurged on but it's too late now. All I can do is rein it in now and get on with life.

I know my parents worry about the uncertainty of our job situations and the fact that we have largish mortgages. They certainly didn't have those pressures when we were growing up, although money was far from plentiful! However, my siblings and I would never have dreamed of demanding the latest trainers, gadgets or whatever. We were quietly grateful for what we had, and I grew up in the 70s/80s.

Anyway must get some more practise in....

*shimmies and hip thrusts of out the door.......*

KillPeppa

Your diary has put a much needed smile on my face today. I think we could get together and form a single childless women of a certain age club, especially those who are living back with the parents and find themselves sliding into Kevin the Teenager moments.

Buffy can possibly be member number 2 at marshmallowaholics anonymous. Tell me Buffy how hard has it got? Do you alternate between the Spar and Budgens to hide the extent of your purchases? Do you throw a strop when someone brings you mini marshmallows instead, which are totally different from real marshmallows in the same way Whispas have no connection to dairy milk? Are you a wee bit worried as your Mum has promised to make rocky road for your niece unaware that, despite my protestations, the mini marshmallows from the baking cupboard were secretly inhaled earlier in the week? If so I can't help, but we can set up an early alert system for when Aldi have the giant American packets of heaven.

God can I relate on the body lotion/beauty products in general issue. But it is important to note that I never bought just a body lotion, I bought a lifestyle. This body lotion was going to change my life, make me popular and clever with thin thighs, swishy hair and a great wardrobe. I think my pots were all faulty .

I needed this tonight, the Neom web page is now shut and the 'treatment' candles were not a bargain .

SarahB1989_2

skintygerlinky wrote: »

Hi All xxx

How's your weekend going?? I've had a good 'un! Really chilled, reading, cooking, music. Lovely!!

Just to clarify - I'm working part time at the mo and studying part time. Prior to this I was working full time with many extra late evenings on top, plus at least another day at the weekend to plan ahead for the week to come...
So at the mo I can't tell you how much I'm appreciating having some free time to concentrate on uni work - and to concentrate on me, too!

I honestly don't think I would have had any kind of financial epiphany if I'd still been working as relentlessly as I was. I bet I would have a lot of body lotion though. I currently have 5 tubs to use up hahahahaaa!! Yet another 'thing' I've spent cash on. I'm making sure I use it every day now!!

2014 - the year of the symbolic body lotion.

'The Metaphorical Body Lotion' - How the West Went Bankrupt by BBC Financial Correspondent SkintyGerlinky.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm!!

Next month I'm watching every penny as I need to get some dosh saved. Out of curiosity - how do other members of the Big Hair Gang spend their time socially? How do you guys spend your leisure time?

I'm asking cos a chunk of my wages this month have gone on, well, coffee with friends. Throw in the odd cheese n coleslaw jacket and that's how we're catching up. We seem to have left 'meeting up in the pub' behind (which I think is a shame! Only seem to do this on our birthdays now) and instead go to cafes and sometimes the cinema. I love my lovely friends and it's always great to catch up. It always feels good to be in the company of people you can just be yourself with and put the world to rights.

It's just a bit expensive for me at the mo! Am going round to another friend's house next week for food and drinks and a night in which will be cheaper and to be honest more relaxing than sitting in CostaLotta. Wish we could do more of that maybe??

What do you guys think? Do you get out and about with friends and loved ones? Do you tend to stay in? Do you have a once a week/month/etc ritual of getting out or is it more spontaneous? Or are you staying in, watching your spends at the mo?

mothernerd - thanks for your lovely comments! Love your decorating outfit as I loved Holly Hobby!! Always wanted to shout 'Holl!! Turn around and look at me properly!' though! Am well impressed with your decorating skills.

And, like rainbowbridge & busymum3+dog, appreciate your dedication to our dance routine!

De-lurking to say how much I love your diary, I'd suggest you write a book but then we'd all be spending money to buy a copy to add to our already heaving bookshelves... I'm a few years behind you (lets not pretend I could recognise many of popstars mentioned so far and as for big hair, my hair straighteners were my one true love at school...) but everything you've said about costa, candles, and body lotions is ringing very true!

Friends are definitely causing excess spends for me - staying with a group of girls at the moment which means even popping to the supermarket is a team exercise that involves far too much loitering in the chocolate aisle. I've turned down several cinema trips recently as I can't see the point of socialising in a dark room where you aren't allowed to talk, but getting out of meals out/ coffee / cake is a little more difficult to navigate without pulling out the skint card time and time again. March will have to be a month of being a hermit, will be back in a city where I've not seen friends for a few months so will be trying to invite them round mine instead of down the pub / coffee shop. Maybe if you suggest everyone coming round to yours then they can bring a bottle or some snacks and you can just contribute the lovely location for your meet-up?

skintygerlinky

busymum3+dog - really hear what you're saying, everything you describe has been my experience too!! My parents saved towards holidays, Xmas etc. I was talking about holidays the other day - what I most appreciate is the fact that they managed to get us away in the first place. I honestly don't remember commenting or thinking about the standard of the accommodation or the resort. I was too busy collecting shells or building sandcastles (and later trying to cop off with waiters).
But I also agree that it is too late to turn the clock back. Onwards and upwards we go!
**fluffs blonde bouff and executes shimmy confidently**

KillPeppa - glad you've ended the day with a smile!

skintygerlinky

Sarahhhhhhhhh!!!! (? sorry hun, not sure about that greeting. Was meant to be warm and friendly, but may sound bit Noel Gallagher?? Again, what? ruined it)

Nice to see you in here!! Nice to have someone with straight hair too,but if you ever feel the need to unleash your inner fluff then please feel free. You're safe here. It's Ok. Honest. Feel free to backcomb.

SarahB1989 wrote: »

everything you've said about costa, candles, and body lotions is ringing very true!

Friends are definitely causing excess spends for me - staying with a group of girls at the moment which means even popping to the supermarket is a team exercise that involves far too much loitering in the chocolate aisle. I've turned down several cinema trips recently as I can't see the point of socialising in a dark room where you aren't allowed to talk, but getting out of meals out/ coffee / cake is a little more difficult to navigate without pulling out the skint card time and time again. March will have to be a month of being a hermit, will be back in a city where I've not seen friends for a few months so will be trying to invite them round mine instead of down the pub / coffee shop. Maybe if you suggest everyone coming round to yours then they can bring a bottle or some snacks and you can just contribute the lovely location for your meet-up?

Again, can completely relate to what you're saying - LOVE the description of socialising in the dark in the cinema haaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!! God! Completely true!!

If I had my own place I would deffo have everyone over and in the past when I was in my own (rented!) house(s) that was always the case. I love cooking and there's nothing better than stuffing your face with a gang of mates is there?

Really really do relate to you saying 'pulling the skint card again'. To be honest.....even my absolute nearest and dearest don't really seem to have grasped how poor I currently am!
I feel the next step is to produce a bank statement out of my hat with a flourish (mental note to self: procure a top hat) and say 'Hah! told yer!' as saying 'aw, soz, can't afford to go, sorry! Am bit skinty...as you know..' seems to suddenly be wearing a bit thin.

Siiiiiiiiigh. Cannot tell you how relieving it is (oo-er! THAT sounds a bit suss!) to ramble on about it here.

People at least understand how we feel - even if we're feeling like crap!!

RainbowBridgeReturns

Hi Skinty, I enjoyed reading this book a couple of years ago, "How I Lived a Year on Just a Pound a Day". It is the story of a single woman, who gets all her friends involved in her pound a day project, and they all seem to have a good time. Available for free at your local library x.

It is funny to watch my DS socialising, as so much of it is done through Skype now, and there are always different voices coming out of his computer and little heads popping up on his screen. I supply him with juice and cakes and it is pretty MSE.

DH and I have been doing date nights, in house, rather than going out, and that has been working really well, and I have cut down my coffee dates, to a maximum of once a week, rather than the three or four times that I used to indulge in, and lunches out have been cut completely.

in_need_of_direction

One of my super organised friends checks out the local deals websites eg groupon, treat ticket etc and if she spots a good offer that we could collectively use, texts us all early then takes charge of the booking. That's probably for a once every three month thing but it's great as the bulk of it is prepaid

girlatplay

Whew! Finally caught up. Think I will have to start coming on here at the weekends just to keep up with your diary Skinty!

I am happy to be any one of them ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6tuzHUuuk ). I have researched this and really, I could be anyone. Up until June last year, I was blonde. I am now brunette. I had been blonde my whole life. It has been well noticed (since June) that I am still 100% blonde on the inside though The frizz stopped about 1999.
I can't get into the dance link (I am at work. I am checking the links on my phone but that one won't open - I know what it is though and I will check and master it later).

Socialising: Hmmm... Every couple of months I meet up with my girlies (one pre-'80s, the other two post-'80s but they still knew the big hair and blue lashes - '89/90 we met). We go to each other's houses and have dinner. The host cooks, the guests supply wine and flowers. One time when I was really skint, each one brought a dish. Love my gal-pals. At Christmas we go for a Christmas meal somewhere (I save for it).
My weekends are spent with Little Miss Gap, my sis and my mum. LMG dances on a Saturday so mum, sis and I go for a coffee and we take turns of paying. I give myself a pocket money allowance when I get paid. My turn comes out of that. Two brides this year, sis and pre-'80s friend, so we are dress shopping every now and then too. That's it. I do nothing else. (thank goodness actually, reading that back. Can't wait until the weddings are over).

My skint card is also wearing a bit thin. My girls all earn a lot more than me, plus, I am a single parent. They are very understanding but I feel awkward a lot of the time.

Parents: When I split up with LMG's dad, LMG and I were skinter than a skint thing in skintyland. We were far worse off than my parents when we were kids. I've really turned it around though and now we do ok. We have no debt apart from the mortgage (HUGELY different from 11 years ago) and we are having an expensive holiday this year. Things are still tight sometimes but I would say we are now better off than my parents were (not greatly, don't get too excited for me).

I worked my a$$ off to get to where we are financially though.

I have a friend (the pre-'80s one) who does what INOD's one does, checks out the deals websites and takes charge of bookings for us.

Sorry for the dissertation :cool:

*backcombs a little more - using fingers *more hairspray* chokes a little*

SarahB1989_2

skintygerlinky wrote: »

Sarahhhhhhhhh!!!! (? sorry hun, not sure about that greeting. Was meant to be warm and friendly, but may sound bit Noel Gallagher?? Again, what? ruined it)

Nice to see you in here!! Nice to have someone with straight hair too,but if you ever feel the need to unleash your inner fluff then please feel free. You're safe here. It's Ok. Honest. Feel free to backcomb.

Again, can completely relate to what you're saying - LOVE the description of socialising in the dark in the cinema haaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!! God! Completely true!!

If I had my own place I would deffo have everyone over and in the past when I was in my own (rented!) house(s) that was always the case. I love cooking and there's nothing better than stuffing your face with a gang of mates is there?

Really really do relate to you saying 'pulling the skint card again'. To be honest.....even my absolute nearest and dearest don't really seem to have grasped how poor I currently am!
I feel the next step is to produce a bank statement out of my hat with a flourish (mental note to self: procure a top hat) and say 'Hah! told yer!' as saying 'aw, soz, can't afford to go, sorry! Am bit skinty...as you know..' seems to suddenly be wearing a bit thin.

Siiiiiiiiigh. Cannot tell you how relieving it is (oo-er! THAT sounds a bit suss!) to ramble on about it here.

People at least understand how we feel - even if we're feeling like crap!!

Haha I am definitely old enough to know who Noel Gallagher is!!

Would you not invite people over just because you live with family? I'm moving back home for a few months this summer and will just be making the most of evenings when my parents are out to invite friends round - though just realised this sounds like when I was a teen and tried to have secret house parties! Maybe less Smirnoff Ice involved these days...

Think waving a bank statement around is the way to go! Most of my friends are students or recent graduates so we're all on the poor side but to different extents, some of them tend not to understand that "I can't afford that" means I'm absolutely not coming, not 'find a slightly cheaper place and I'll be there'.

skintygerlinky

Evenin Evenin Evenin! (Comedy sketch?? Someone pretending to be a policeman? Oh dear god it's not Jim Davidson is it?? Listen, appreciate we're all different, special and unique here and I love you all.. but I'm not having any Jim Davidson in here, is that OK? Thanks. You're all lovely xxx)

How's yer Monday? Busy busy today, sorting house out after re-decoration. Loads and loads of dusting, washing, ironing and hanging curtains up, putting pictures back on the walls etc. Could have been a boring, irritating nightmare but we got stuck in, ate cake and put some '50's rock n roll on and danced whilst dusting.

The music prompted loads of stories from my parents, which I could listen to all day. They were teenagers during Liverpool's early '60's hey day and met in the Cavern!
As we've been discussing how we spend our leisure time in here and how cheap or expensive it can be, it was fab to hear the 'now and then' comparison. My mum and dad went out every single night, dancing their trendy asses off. Live bands (inc The Beatles of course, they saw them loads of times. Yes am very jealous) and amazing dance halls were dotted all over the city and transport was cheap and efficient!

The big diff, in my opinion, was the fact that all of these nights were fuelled by...coffee and orange squash. There were pubs everywhere but the dance halls didn't sell alcohol. So it cost next to nothing to go out and they had the best time ever. Looking back at photos from this era, my parents looked so unbelievably glam and smart. They didn't have much money to spend on clothes but they were inventive and looked after what they had. And bopped away to Bobby Darin, Adam Faith and Elvis til midnight!

**skinty pushes the button her time machine.....slowly the sight of her 'rents jiving to 'Poetry In Motion' begins to fade...and is replaced by Skinty and her friends sat in CostaLotta, eating pain au chocolats that could be described as "bit dry. Bit disappointing"**

Oooh!! Hello there, was well away there! Back in the present day - thank you INDirection, I keep meaning to check Groupon, Wowcher etc - I've just never got organised in that way which just seems daft. How do the rest of you get on with discount voucher sites? Do you use them?

Rainbow - yes yes deffo agree with teenagers new way of socialising!! I taught a gal who saw her boyfriend once a fortnight as 'we talk over Skype so don't need to see each other that much' even though he lived 10mins away. That made me feel...a bit odd?? But soon caught on that this is indeed a very cheap way for people to keep in contact!
I'm loving your date nights, and that you and t'other half make the effort to do this. Long may it continue!
That book sounds FAB! Will deffo check it out as soon as I've made a dent in my unread collection (see my sig!)

girlatplay - yes yes!! Socialising at people's houses + cooking is so enjoyable, relaxing and inventive with cooking! And majorly appreciated too - when me and my gang do it, we always make sure we give our guests a nice night. Definitely want to do more of this this year. And once again - you have done brilliantly re: getting to the stage you're at now financially. A great role model to Missy Gap.

Sarah - aw, if my house wasn't completely open plan downstairs I'd have my gang over more often!! Just couldn't inflict our screeching and [STRIKE]drunken hag rants[/STRIKE] mellowed-with-wine intellectual discussions on my poor parents too often! But when they're out or away it's deffo all back to mine. Salmon noodle soup last time, was as gorgeous as Johnny Depp way back in 21 Jump St...dreamy....lovely.....

Siiiiiiiiiigh...............