Pre-nup wanted by future in laws

twojaystwokays

I would say I am the primary carer, I get them up every morning and take them to school, three days a week I pick them up and then we are both there and share teatime, bath and bedtime. We are both with them at weekends.
When he has been out of work he has been the main carer.

twojaystwokays

The police did not know he had been drinking in the park with our son, I didnt know until my son told me after they had gone. It isnt the first incident however, last time he took our son with him, very late at night and very drunk. The police had to find them, very long story and yes I know I should have left then.

marmitepotato

Twojaystwokays, I'm very sorry to hear about the turn of events, but thank goodness it's happened now rather than later. Sending you best wishes. X

Person_one

I hate to say it, but be prepared for a lot of badmouthing from your FIL.

downshifted

twojaystwokays wrote: »

The police did not know he had been drinking in the park with our son, I didnt know until my son told me after they had gone. It isnt the first incident however, last time he took our son with him, very late at night and very drunk. The police had to find them, very long story and yes I know I should have left then.

Hmmm. So we have gone from an expensive wedding being planned after a long relationship, concerns about a pre-nup, possibly leaving because of the pre-nup, to a violent argument and a tv being kicked in, and now the revelation that you have previously had drunken and violent incidents with the police being called. What on earth were you doing looking to marry such a man? I agree that Women's Aid are your best bet now.

You couldn't make it up...........or could you?

twojaystwokays

It was a very cheap wedding and yes we have had our fair share of problems and yes I probably should have walked away a long time ago but (dont all start shouting at me please) when he is sober he is a good dad, he is good company and I love him.
He has tried to get help from the doctors about his drinking and anger problems and they prescribed anti depressants.
We have had counselling and it was fantastic but there is a waiting list and we can only go once in a blue moon.

downshifted

Sorry - I do see now that it was to be an inexpensive wedding that you were planning.
But you have gone from your first post to leaving a violent and drunken man in just eight days of posting.
It seems the pre nup was a bit of a red herring if the real story is about a drunken violent and irresponsible father/partner

Do speak with Women's Aid

twigpig

I wouldn't entertain this, as difficult as it might be to say no (although that's on the assumption that your partner isn't on his Dad's side in this).

The home that you live in is to provide for you and your family and it is just that - the family home. Your responsibility and that of your partner is to ensure there's a home for them and should something happen to your partner, this could be a whole mine field to sort through. God forbid, you lost your partner, this isn't something you would then need to be dealing with!

Your father should accept the relationship and mind his own business - your financial affairs are private and if he has concerns over the house, then he shouldn't keep his reigns on it.

Sounds like he set it up like that as a tax dodge - just in my opinion of course

twojaystwokays

I think the pre-nup was the straw that finally broke this camels back (and my heart).

GobbledyGook

If he's likely to get drunk or turn violent then leave now.

Seriously I can tell you from experience it's MUCH less frightening to hear someone bang on the door and the police come than it is to hear things being smashed and being fearful for your safety.

Staying gives bad signals. How can you say you fear for your children if you are happily having them in the same house?

Get out now. Better a week off work and school than the alternative. Speak to women's aid and they'll advise you.

you know perhaps the pre-nup wasn't about you. Perhaps your FIL always knew he'd screw it up at some point....