Pre-nup wanted by future in laws

rpc

Seanymph wrote: »

His FATHER is looking to protect HIS asset.

IT ISN'T HIS ASSET :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

The house is owned by a trust, of which the (maybe) future husband is a beneficiary.

FIL has got himself tied in knots with his tax avoidance and is now at risk of coming undone. However that house is not, and can never be, his.

The best that could be done is for OP partner to be removed as a beneficiary but he won't do that.

warehouse

Person_one wrote: »

Despite what a lot of selfish men who don't really seem to understand marriage think, divorce courts are pretty fair, on the whole.

Absolute 100% utter garbage.

rpc

twojaystwokays wrote: »

There is a "family" trust which includes him, his wife, my oh and our two children. In the trust is the house my inlaws live in (which is worth at least three times what this house is worth, an apartment in spain
<snip>
by marrying his son I would automatically be in the "family" trust, therefore giving me rights to claim in the event of divorce,

Correct.

Also bear in mind that FIL doesn't get to choose if you marry or not. This is down to your OH and whether he can stand on his own two feet.

Top and bottom, I need to cut my losses and get away from this situation and concentrate on me and my kids.

Also correct IMHO. Leave control of the FIL and set up somewhere within your own means. Hopefully (?) OH will come too.

From the divorce settlement perspective, it matters not where you live. You could live in the house you own and you would still be able to claim on OH's interest in the trust (you might not get it, especially depending on which legal system manages the divorce, but you can claim).

twojaystwokays

Well surprise surprise, its all gone horribly wrong!!!!!
Oh got drunk on sunday (while looking after one of the kids), when I got home I reacted badly to this (I dont agree in being drunk while at the park with your six year old) Subsequent huge row which the two youngest could hear ending with him putting his foot through the tv and me calling the police.
To cut a long story short, he left before the police arrived (went to the pub), came back three hours later and passed out.
So it looks like fil was right all along and the relationship is now over, I have an appointment with a solicitor on thursday and everyone is thoroughly miserable and upset.
If there is any legal people reading this, if I leave with the children and then he has access to them, what can I do to stop him from keeping them, he is never going to let me have the kids without a massive fight.

Tiddlywinks

He became violent - why are you still there?

Why haven't you moved to your house... by staying you are sending mixed messages about what happened.

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

He became violent - why are you still there?

Why haven't you moved to your house... by staying you are sending mixed messages about what happened.

Mixed messages?

She's told him that its over, called the police, and made an appointment with a solicitor.

Seems clear to me.

Mojisola

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

He became violent - why are you still there?

Why haven't you moved to your house... by staying you are sending mixed messages about what happened.

Because where she and the children are living is the family home.

twojaystwokays

It will take me some time to be able to move into the other house, I have to think about school and work etc.
He will, in the mindset he is in at the moment come straight round to the other house and once again I will have to call the police, I have to think of my kids having to watch and listen to that.
The atmosphere here isnt good but it I can live with it until I have seen a solicitor and know legally what I can and cant do.
There is nothing stopping him from taking the children out of school(he has parental responsibilty as I do), bringing them back to this house and changing the locks, its his dads house remember.

lostinrates

twojaystwokays wrote: »

It will take me some time to be able to move into the other house, I have to think about school and work etc.
He will, in the mindset he is in at the moment come straight round to the other house and once again I will have to call the police, I have to think of my kids having to watch and listen to that.
The atmosphere here isnt good but it I can live with it until I have seen a solicitor and know legally what I can and cant do.
There is nothing stopping him from taking the children out of school(he has parental responsibilty as I do), bringing them back to this house and changing the locks, its his dads house remember.

Which of you has been the children's primary carer? During his periods of unemployment has he stepped up his role in parental care?


Is some form of shared residence going to be the best way forward for the kids?

Person_one

Don't forget that it will now be on record with the police that he was drunk in charge of a young child, and that he was violent and aggressive towards you.

With you being their primary carer, plus his behaviour, I'd be very surprised if he was able to get residency against your will.

It would be a good idea to speak to Women's Aid, you shouldn't have to live in fear, they will be able to advise you on how to keep you and your children safe:

0808 2000 247

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp