Engagement Ring After Split?

HugoSP

Strictly speaking the man buys it for his fiancee and puts it on her finger if she accepts the proposal.

Hence if the lady changes her mind, IMO the decent thing to do is to offer it back.

However I may be of a mind to suggest that she keep it as a gift if she had been a good companion to be up to the split. I may not want to give the same ring to another lady in the future.

The only exception to this rule is if the ring were a family heirloom like my wife's weeding ring - it used to be my grandmothers.

HugoSP

I knew one girl who had managed to get some 4 engagement rings - 2 from the same guy.

It was this guy who also settled a debt of hers with me - after she broke up with him the 2nd time. She was a lodger of mine and had left with no notice and without paying her share of the bills.

Some people I guess are born to be taken for a mug!

Elle00

Well as the contract has been broken I think it should be returned. But that's a "should" not a "must".

I gave mine back, he refused to return his. In fact I returned nearly everything bar a few items of basic furniture! Why would I want stuff around to remind of a guy who made me miserable and I divorced?!?! I furnished my home out of the council second hand furniture link just to avoid bad memories.

I'm super horrid yet he has kept the engagement ring and 1st anniversary locket I gave him despite my asking if I could have the locket to give to our child when he is older in the hope of portraying the illusion he was conceived in love (as if but I have my Mother's from my Dad and it's the only thing that says they ever liked each other!). I know he is legally entitled to keep these items but from a moral point of view? Bit sick really.

Give it all back or bin it and move on I say.

Then just to totally contradict myself, I can also understand those who've been in very long relationships or marriages wanting to keep a few trinkets to remember good times, especially where a family has been raised together.

Think is one of those issues that comes down to discretion. As a general rule I'd say for an engagement or short marriage, give it back; for a longer marriage, your choice.

EDIT: Just editing to admit I didn't bother to read the whole thread! In fairness, it is a poll so I didn't think it necessary. OP as you say you were engaged but not married you could take a case to small claims for a price but is it worth it knowing you may well not win? There's no law to say she has to return it so you'd have to think of a reason she should. Morals don't come into law unfortunately though I do sympathise and agree this is unfair of her. Maybe she still has feelings and it's why she wants to keep it? You did say she wanted to keep it not sell it afterall.

changkra

Sorry to read you've split with your partner, I feel the ring should be given back to the man who gave it and i'm not sure but i think there is some kind of law (?) stating that this is what should happen.

Best of luck