Engagement Ring After Split?

jammy78

Hi,

What are peoples opinion with regards to engagement rings after you split?

Should she keep it or give it back?

What are peoples views?

Mine is that it is the mans because he buys it for the lady to wear as a like his sign?!

Am I wrong and the lady keeps it, to sell on and take all the money?

Cheers

PS you guessed it I've just split up

RadoJo

Sorry to hear that you even need to ask this question. I think that in legal terms (although possibly only in the States - too much Judge Judy for me!) the ring is seen as a contract, and if the terms of the contract aren't met (ie the wedding doesn't happen) then the ring should be returned to whoever paid for it.

However, your interpretation of an engagement ring being 'for the lady to wear as like his sign' seems to suggest (and forgive me if I'm misinterpreting) that you think of it like branding your cattle! Either way though, I think that whoever bought it should end up with it - nobody should profit unduly from the break-up of a relationship, although I can see how people would think there should be exceptions (and I might be tempted to agre, depending on the circumstances!).

katiekittykat

It depends, if he treated you like rubbish and called off the engagemnet i'd keep it, but if i duimped him i'd give it him back.

Justie

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules - it was given as a gift that happens to symbolise something but it is a gift. I gave mine back as I didn't want to have it in the house (he then sold it and didn't offer me any money for it despite it being him who ended the relationship) but it should really be the woman's choice imo as to what she wants to do with it as she now owns it.

newcook

aarrghh! my post got wiped!!!

I think the ring should be given back to who bought it/gave it (especially if its of sentimental value such as it was his grandmothers engagement ring)

newcook

Justie wrote: »

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules - it was given as a gift that happens to symbolise something but it is a gift. I gave mine back as I didn't want to have it in the house (he then sold it and didn't offer me any money for it despite it being him who ended the relationship) but it should really be the woman's choice imo as to what she wants to do with it as she now owns it.

why would he offer you some of the money for the ring that he bought???

TBH if I gave someone a gift in exchange for something and something happened to change this arrangement I would expect the gift back.
if for example you were buying a car and gave a holding deposit and the seller changed his mind you'd expect your deposit back wouldn't you?!!?

I know its not a good example but it holds the same principle

jammy78

katiekittykat wrote: »

It depends, if he treated you like rubbish and called off the engagemnet i'd keep it, but if i duimped him i'd give it him back.

She has ended it!

I want it back but she is saying no because i gave it to her and it means a lot?

Angel777

I would give the ring back to him.

I dont agree that its a sign more a symbol of the love the two of them share and the comittment between them.

I personally would be pretty heart broken and would not want a reminder so personal of our relationship as it would make me feel sad.

I hope the op or anyone is not in this situation as its very sad.

jammy78

Angel777 wrote: »

I would give the ring back to him.

I dont agree that its a sign more a symbol of the love the two of them share and the comittment between them.

I personally would be pretty heart broken and would not want a reminder so personal of our relationship as it would make me feel sad.

I hope the op or anyone is not in this situation as its very sad.

Yes I'm living it! I worked very hard to get her this ring and now want it back!

and yes it has turned nasty!

poochel

according to the courts......

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article1811517.ece

newcook

tell her if she wants to keep it that much she can give you what you paid for it!!!

especially with the fact that she has ended it