How late is considered rude?

System

If it's an informal get-together I wouldn't be fussed it someone were a a bit late. It also wouldn't bother me if they turned up early, they can help me with the food in that case :rotfl:

I think what riles people is when there's a kind of arrogance on the part of the person invited. You start to wonder if they think they are so important or busy that they can just keep you waiting. It's all about perception, I think.

Your daughter should ask these guests how come they were so late. Perhaps they had a good reason, or maybe they were the sort of people who are always late and seem to find it impossible to get somewhere on time!

time2deal

I have a friend who is chronically late, and it has stopped being amusing. And it's generally because he has stopped somewhere for a 'quick' drink.

He was supposed to meet me last night at 7pm. At 7.15 while standing in the cold I called with no answer, so I went home (I've learnt!). Then at 8 pm I get a text 'just leaving now, where are we meeting!! '.

That means he was still at least 30 minutes away. He said he was still at work, but if that was the case he would have answered/called. He was clearly at a pub. It's beyond annoying. He is also under the illusion that when he does show up, somehow I won't notice he's has been drinking.

He did it once when I was mid cancer treatment. After a particularly depressed day at home alone, he said he would come over straight after work, should be about 6.30. I was really looking forward to some company, and had told another friend not to come over. 6.30 comes... 7.30... text 'Be leaving in a moment, just seeing John for a quick one' 8.30... 'walking to tube now! See you in 30' (which I foolishly believe) ... 10.45 I get a text. 'Just on my way now! Be there soon!' I told him to not bother...

It's really upsetting, but I fall for it over and over.

onlyroz

For me, if I'd told people that they should arrive at 8 I'd be putting the meal on the table at 8:30. If some guests were late then I'd hold off as long as I could but would serve up without them if it meant ruining the meal otherwise.

Horace

I used to have a friend who would always be late - we would arrange to meet for a chat and a bite to eat half way between our homes so we both had the same distance to drive, invariably she would turn up 15-20 minutes late and then one day she didn't bother turning up at all, no call no nothing. When I managed to get hold of her she said "I didn't feel like it as I was tired" - a call would have been nice plus I was tired too but still turned up. Needless to say we are no longer friends.

DigForVictory

We don't start to cook til our guests are with us.
If the lads show up late for meals, they get a plate left in the microwave (a fair share) but I expect them to be on time.
They all know how to get in touch - they have Scout badges in Communication & I expect them to use the skills!
When cousins run late, they get a very "what kept you, we're ravenous" reception!

Humphrey10

krlyr wrote: »

If I was invited for dinner at 8, I would get there for 7.30-7.45.

You'd be waiting out on the street then if you were coming to mine. It's extremely rude to arrive early.

duchy

Maz wrote: »

Thanks for everyone's replies. My daughter has invited two friends tonight for supper at 8, gone to a LOT of trouble and they both rolled up at 8.50 with no apologies or explanations. I think that's just bl00dy rude! If it was me, I wouldn't be inviting them again.

But does your daughter think it was rude? She knows if they are the sort of people who are usually punctual or not. Did she not ask them why they were late.......I think most people would.

Is your daughter actually annoyed or just you?

duchy

My ex was what I describe as a time optimist. He was late for everything . I actually told him if he arrived after me at our wedding I wasn't marrying him. His step dad and best man apparently made sure he was. For example he would arrive at least an hour late picking up our son and was always amazed that the M25 was busy on a Friday night and took longer than on a Sunday morning. I'd just tell my son Dad was due at 7 if he'd said he would pick him up at 6. When we were together I would always lie to him about the time we were due anywhere so we'd arrive on time. Some people are genuinely punctuality challenged rather than deliberately rude (although I felt it looked rude so took steps to make sure we were on time).

themull1

I wouldn't do the meal for the same time as the invite, i would invite for 7.00 ish and do the meal for about 30 mins later.

Maz

It's been interesting to read everyone's opnions on this, thanks to all who replied