How late is considered rude?

lostinrates

Ten minutes timing to get to some places is very hard.

I always err on the side of early and have a good book in the car, and arrive on time or five minutes after. But I'm generally happy to receive people a little early....so long as they don't expect me to stay with them, I'll probably be managing my kitchen. I expect people to arrive anything up to fifteen minutes late as 'on time' and after that to be late.

After half an hour I'd consider it pretty late. We're we eating with a group I'd go ahead and serve the first part of the meal unless there had been a. Call saying they were just a few minutes away or some such.


I have two friends who are regularly late and i always tell them half an hour earlier . Dh's family are late, always, and I consider it a blessing.

*Louise*

Any more than 10 minutes late and a text would be polite, especially if someone is cooking.

If someone was 50 mins late then I would be really tempted to serve them it slightly burnt to teach them a lesson :rotfl:

We tell my MIL half an hour later than everyone else, because she is one of those people who always turns up half an hour early. It flusters the heck out of me because I'm usually right in the middle of cooking and organising things!

jfdi

Have to say, many years ago I invited my SIL & her OH round - 6.30 for 7.00 (early, as we ate with our 7 yo son). They turned up gone 8.00!

We were on pudding by then!

meritaten

I think it depends on how many guests you have sometimes. why should four or more people wait on one person? if they miss the first course then tough.

Billie-S

Up to 10 mins late with no contact is OK. 15 or more is rude.

My daughters were always having people over for sleepovers and suchlike, and I would put food on for them all, and there were a couple of girls that were perpetually late: sometimes an hour late. And the parents were ALWAYS late picking them up the next day too. I gave 11am-12 as a pickup time and it would often be 2pm! Like we have nothing else to do but look after their kids!

One of them is still friends with one of my daughters, and the last time she met her (last summer, as my daughters are at uni now; ) I took my daughter to meet her in a place she doesn't know well, and she wanted me to wait til her pal turned up. She was an hour and 10 minutes late. My daughter called her three times, and she said 'on my way,' 'still on bus,' lalalalala. I reckon when she called her 10 mins after the arranged time to see where she was, she was still in bed! I was livid. I had better things to do than to sit on a bench in the middle of town in the cold.

As soon as I saw her face, I said 'bye then' to my daughter and turned my back on this girl in disgust. I was so appalled. It's like who the hell does she think she is, that she can keep people waiting like this? I said three times to my daughter 'let's go!' but she BEGGED me to stay and wait. She has done it several times since too, to one of my daughter's friends, who has complained about it to my daughter (and as I said, she's done it many times before.)

As for turning up early. NOOOO! I hate that. This woman (a neighbour I don't know well,) came to my house the other week as I had been invited to a party at someone's house who I didn't know too well, and she said she would 'call for me and we could walk to the house together.' She was meant to be here at 7pm, and she came at 6.35pm.

I was getting ready in the kitchen, and I said 'go sit down if you want: in the lounge,' and she said 'I'm all right.' And she stood by the back door watching me doing my hair and make up. I was so uneasy that I cut short what I was doing, and went out with quite unkempt hair and my make up not right, as I was aware of her watching me. SO awkward! 5 minutes early is PLENTY early enough.

krlyr

claire16c wrote: »

If I told someone to get there for 8 I'd probably be aiming to have the dinner ready for maybe 8.20/30.

If someone turned up at 7.30 that would put me in a right panic and I'd probably not be dressed, got the cooking at the right stage etc yet! I would hate that!

For the OP I'd say no more than 15 mins without calling/texting.

I suppose it depends how it's worded. When my mum invites us for dinner at 5, she means sitting down to eat at 5. Therefore turning up at exactly 5 would seem rude to me.

However, if she invited me around for dinner, and said come at 5 (but I knew we would be eating slightly after that), I'd aim for 5.

OP's post isn't quite clear, if it's "invited for supper, at 8 o'clock" or "invited for supper at 8 o'clock"

tea_lover

If I told someone 8 I'd be annoyed by 5 past if they weren't there. I have a real issue with lateness....it's so rude!

Georgiegirl256

Maz wrote: »

Thanks for everyone's replies. My daughter has invited two friends tonight for supper at 8, gone to a LOT of trouble and they both rolled up at 8.50 with no apologies or explanations. I think that's just bl00dy rude! If it was me, I wouldn't be inviting them again.

No 1: I agree, I wouldn't be inviting them again, and

No:2: I'd be asking them why on earth they were so late.

I think anything over 10 minutes is rude, and considering most people who were late would be extremely apologetic, then that makes the friends doubly rude because they weren't.

Voiren

The way my friends/family tend to do it is the time stated is when people can start turning up, and most people are expected to have congregated an hour or two after that. But the invitation time would be much earlier for a meal to allow all this to happen, and there'd be chatting, drinks and nibbles. There'd also be people who usually arrive and leave earlier, and those who pop in later, so the whole thing is more extended and more relaxed. The meal happens when the cook is ready! Start is more like 4pm, so it's rather different.

(I live in London now, so even fixed meeting times tend to have half an hour's leeway to allow for trains).

neneromanova

15 mins with no contact is rude in my opinion. I arranged to meet up with my wedding photographer when we were looking around for one. She said a time of 9am. She didn't turn up til 10.30. We tried ringing and texting but nothing. Finally arrives and just a quick "oh sorry". No reason why or anything. I think she'd forgotten and was still in bed at 9. Some people really have no manners at all.