How late is considered rude?

Spendless

We have one side of the family who turn up too late for everything and another side who turn up too early! The side that turn up too early (mine) once invited us round to eat at say 4pm, we turned up at 10 to 4, knowing how they are, only to find they'd practically finished eating (a buffet, not sit down meal0. I even questioned if we had got the time wrong, but nope!

Meanwhile on another occasion we were left waiting for husband side of family to turn up for almost an hour because 'my favourite jeans were wet and I wanted to dry them'.

Grrrrrr, I'd like to put both sides into a bag and shake them up, perhaps both lots would then turn up at the actual ideal time!

I'm unsure from your post OP if you are talking about a grown up daughter with her own place, in which case I'd offer sympathy and support if it was mentioned to you and keep my opinion out unless asked (or at least try very hard to:o) or if you are talking about someone who still lives in your home that was hosting something there, eg maybe a teenager doing a meal for friends, when I would be more likely to set down house rules about who was invited over and their timekeeping habits.

ash28

I must just be too relaxed about it.....if we have people round I don't specify a specific time, I just say around 8. Before or after is fine with me.

I've been having dinner parties and parties for more years than I care to remember and over the years I have learned to keep it simple. Most of the mains I do are things like beef bourguinon, slow roasted lamb or belly pork, a tagine, coq au vin.....some of the casserole type dishes I often make the day before as they taste better the next day.

Simple starters that can be made and kept in the fridge, same for dessert unless I do something that has a long cooking time.

I don't stress, if people arrive early, then they arrive early and if they are late then they are late. If I tell people it's around 8, then we are ready for 7, table set with everything ready to go when we are all ready to sit down.

I have people round to enjoy their company not stress about the time they turn up.

If someone tells me 8, I wouldn't expect to be eating at 8 and I would get there between 7.55 and 8.10. Our friends and family are exactly that, they are coming for a nice relaxing evening and not to made to feel uncomfortable if they turn up a bit early. I would hate to think someone was sitting in their car or worse standing in the street for fear of offending me by being early.

If someone is very late, if everyone else agrees then we'll sit down, if someone says "give them a few more minutes" then we will.

If I arrange to meet someone for a coffee or to have a meal in a restaurant then I expect them and me to be on time. Early maybe, but definitely not late.

The best one was where we were having a New Years Eve party and didn't specify a time, we hadn't long moved south from Scotland where New Years Eve (where we lived) started at midnight....we just assumed it was the same in the south east. Imagine our surprise when people started turning up at 8pm.

Indie_Kid

My ex once said we'll go out for lunch and he'll pick me up at 12pm. Fine. He then sent me a text at 11.40 telling me he was outside. Wasn't happy; as it meant I was having to rush so he wasn't sat out there waiting.

If someone is running 10 minutes, ok, fair enough. But almost an hour late is rude. I go out on a Wednesday evening and get picked up from the train station and one guy always says he'll be there around 6.45 and apologised one time for being 5 minutes late because of traffic. Did once get a text (and an apology) because another friend was running 20 minutes late. He did once tell me that normally he'd pick me up between 6.30 and 6.45. Due to kids and stuff, he may sometimes run a bit late.

I would find it rude if someone was 50 minutes late with no apology.

thegirlintheattic

About 10 mins I consider rude - but I do have friends who are constantly 30 mins - hour late for everything, so plan around that now!

One was 45 mins late for her own party, and left friends standing around outside her flat for that time. She's a great friend though

Primrose

I was bought up to believe that punctuality is the politeness of kings and I would never be late for a meal that somebody else had gone to the trouble of preparing. If somebody says come for 7.30 I would be there at that time. I don,t go along with the social myth that being ten minutes late is ok especially if your host has gone to a lot of trouble with menu planning and timing.

neneromanova

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Did you still hire her after that? I don't think I would have done, that would have been a big no no for me, that she obviously wasn't reliable.

I wish we hadn't but we were trying to save money and she was just starting up and what I had seen so far was good. I was so upset with what they came out like in the end though I could have done better myself. Should have listened to my gut.

Georgiegirl256

neneromanova wrote: »

I wish we hadn't but we were trying to save money and she was just starting up and what I had seen so far was good. I was so upset with what they came out like in the end though I could have done better myself. Should have listened to my gut.

Aww, sorry to hear that. I hope she still not in business now.

They say to always listen to your gut don't they, but sometimes you don't and then you could kick yourself.

I hope you managed to get some decent photos from your wedding though.

sussexchick

If someone was late, (without any reasonable justification) I'd be of the opinion that they thought their time was more important than mine.

whodathunkit

sussexchick wrote: »

If someone was late, (without any reasonable justification) I'd be of the opinion that they thought their time was more important than mine.

Doesn't everybody think that?

Pollycat

whodathunkit wrote: »

Doesn't everybody think that?

Apart from the people who are late without a reasonable excuse.