How late is considered rude?

Counter

My Dad's family are always late without exception. There was one occassion when my grandparents were due to come to my house at 2pm and they phoned at 2.45 to say "we're just setting off". This was particularly annoying as the implication seemed to be "we are setting off now so make sure you are ready when we get there"... I was ready 45 minutes ago!!!

I hate being late and always allow far too much time to get to places and have to find some way of killing time (walk around the block/town centre a few times etc) when I arrive. I would never dream of actually arriving at someone's house more than a few minutes early, as mentioned in other posts you can't just assume that they will be ready and waiting for you and is just as bad as being late.

beautiful_ravens

I like to be pretty much 'on time' - the time people told me to be there. If I was late it would be something that was out of my hands, and then a text or call is in order. They said 8, Im there 3, 4 or 5 minutes either side of 8. I would sit and wait in the car to avoid being early, or rush about to avoid being late. Its only fair and Id expect the same in return.

50 minutes late with no call is rude, but the only thing is maybe the people invited were not sure of the seriousness of the situation, maybe they thought it was a more...laid back affair.

Pollycat

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

50 minutes late with no call is rude, but the only thing is maybe the people invited were not sure of the seriousness of the situation, maybe they thought it was a more...laid back affair.

From what the OP has posted, it's not clear how the invitation was worded and it's not clear if the OP's daughter was annoyed/upset about the lateness, about the lateness without apology or not even upset at all.

aileth

I am really quite OCD about timing. I ALWAYS leave at 27-minutes-past-eight every single morning for work, and get antsy if it's a minute early or late.

When I'm going to someone's house, I will time it down to the minute, so much so that when I've been five minutes early I've parked around the corner so that I arrive at, say, 6.59.

It sounds terrible but it's the one thing in life that really nags at me. I used to have a 'friend' who would sometimes be one, two, three hours late (I'm not joking). I find this the total epitome of rudeness. Someone who is 50 minutes plus late hasn't simply run into public transport difficulties, they simply don't respect you enough to attend at the correct time. I see it as pure disrespect.

For this 'friend' in question, you'd be sat in a coffee shop waiting to meet at 4, then she'd roll up at 5.30, no apologies. You'd ask, "Where were you?" And her response would be, "Getting ready." Funnily enough, we're not friends anymore. The last time I waited for her I left after an hour and then got texts asking where I was, LOTS of texts. Apparently she was allowed to be 1 hour + late every time, but I wasn't.

Of course issues happen, and sometimes you are 10-15 minutes late, but simply, "I'm so, so sorry, a bus got missed out", and that is totally fine. Rolling up without an explanation that late though is pure disrespect.

flutterby_lil

If I knew in advance I was going to be even 5 minutes late, due to kids, babysitter, car problems etc I would let the hosts know - I think it is rude to not let people know even if you are only 5 minutes late.

warehouse

Ten minutes max is acceptable, over that then a text or call apologising is acceptable. Otherwise they're simply taking the p*** out of you and aren't friends, just people who are using you and will never be true friends.

flutterby_lil

Maz wrote: »

I admit you have to give an amount of leeway either side of the invited time for pre supper drinks etc, which is normal but I do think 50 minutes late is pushing it! If they turned up 15 minutes before the agreed time or 10 - 15 minutes after, that would have been OK. A considerate text/call would have been the polite thing to do, I feel.

Both guests live about 5 minutes away by car and both travelled by car so no transportation problems there. There are no small children to be taken into consideration either, so no child care issues.

How ignorant! They wouldn't be getting invited again.

whodathunkit

Pollycat wrote: »

Apart from the people who are late without a reasonable excuse.

I meant the opposite, actually.:D

Chlorine7

My friends know exactly what I think of them when they're late and I've been kept waiting for more than 15 mins, unless there is a really good reason. As such it doesn't often happen. If I can get to the meeting place/their house on time using public transport so can they.

I waited for an hour once on a special occasion but my friend got an earful for it.

Before cheap mobile phones I used to call my friends house to see when they left or if still at home. I’d wait 30 mins max and then leave. It would then be up to them to wait around for me until I got home to answer the phone and tell them I’d left.

Reggie_Rebel

8.01 is late. If it's dinner at 8.00 and you turn up at 8.10 then yours will be cold. If you turn up at 8.30 bring Pizza, if you turn up at 8.45 the doors will be locked.