How late is considered rude?

belfastgirl23

Much later than ten minutes and I'd definitely be feeling a bit irritated. Half an hour and I'd be cross. I also really don't like the 'text to say I'm running late' thing. Though it's much better than not texting.

I have to really persuade DH that if someone says 8 it's rude to turn up at 7.50 he's compulsively early for things but I also agree that it's bad to turn up at someone's house too early, especially if they have small kids and are trying to settle them.

Maz

I admit you have to give an amount of leeway either side of the invited time for pre supper drinks etc, which is normal but I do think 50 minutes late is pushing it! If they turned up 15 minutes before the agreed time or 10 - 15 minutes after, that would have been OK. A considerate text/call would have been the polite thing to do, I feel.

Both guests live about 5 minutes away by car and both travelled by car so no transportation problems there. There are no small children to be taken into consideration either, so no child care issues.

balletshoes

Maz wrote: »

Just curious, if you invited friends over for supper at 8 o'clock and they were late, how long would you give it before you considered they were rude?

Personally, if I knew I was running behind, I'd text/phone to apologise but if someone is cooking, timing may be important so, I'd try to be no more than 10 minutes later than the agreeed time.

Interested to know what anyone else thinks.

is this a small do or a big party-type supper?
if there were only a few guests invited, and all the guests knew that, I'd say 15-20 minutes late was acceptable, with an apology when they arrived.

Having said that, my OH is blimmin awful for being somewhere he's been invited to on time - when we go as a couple/family to my family's homes for dinner at a specified time I make sure we are there on time, even if I have to tell him we should be there half an hour earlier than we really do.
When its his close friends etc we are visiting, I rarely know what time we're supposed to arrive, he just tells me what time he's intending for us to be there (and even then we're still not usually the last ones to turn up :rotfl:).

balletshoes

Maz wrote: »

Thanks for everyone's replies. My daughter has invited two friends tonight for supper at 8, gone to a LOT of trouble and they both rolled up at 8.50 with no apologies or explanations. I think that's just bl00dy rude! If it was me, I wouldn't be inviting them again.

if she thinks its rude, she needs to tell her friends that - she's made a lot of effort and she'd have appreciated them being on time.

Maz

Some people may think I'm being overly pernickerty but lack of manners infuriates me!

JodyBPM

Turning up before the stated time, for me, would be a big no no.

Invitations (formal) I would state 8 for 8.30 etc, and expect people to turn up at the time stated.

Informal invitations would be much more relaxed. But I'd not expect to be putting dinner on the table the moment guests arrived. Generally it's: arrival, drinks, more drinks, oh b*gger I forgot to put the potatoes/parsnips/whatever on, oh well lets have more drinks, and then a drink and then eat. Whilst drinking. My informal dinner parties are legendary, and everyone always has a blast.

Fifty minutes would be pushing it, though, because I'd be worried if they were turning up at all, up to perhaps half an hour I'd be OK with. For an informal occasion, a text or quick call saying they were delayed would be all that was needed, the lateness in itself I wouldn't necessarily see as awfully rude, but the lack of communication, I would.

meritaten

well, I would invite for 7.30 and serve drinks and nibbles and expect to serve the meal at 8.00. would delay for 10 mins but no more. after that its rude, and I would worry that something awful had happened to them!
and it better had! or they would be told exactly what I thought!

Bella73

meritaten wrote: »

well, I would invite for 7.30 and serve drinks and nibbles and expect to serve the meal at 8.00. would delay for 10 mins but no more. after that its rude

I second this, and I would start without them. To be honest without a very good reason I would tell them that in future I would like a phone call, however, improbably wouldn't invite them for a meal again.

Can't stand people being late for no reason it's ignorant.

We have people that I would never invite for a meal as they are always late everywhere they go, it's funny as they have mentioned to others that when we've had xyz over they are never invited. I have told our other friends they are more than welcome to tell them why should they bring it up.

Torry_Quine

If someone invited me for dinner/supper at 8pm then I'd probably arrive just before 8 expecting that to be the time food would be ready. If they said 8 for 8:30 then up to 10, fifteen minutes after is acceptable.

It's the height of bad manners to be late and it really annoys me as presumably people manage to get to work on time.

meritaten

the correct form is to invite people a half hour before the meal so they can meet the other guests, have an aperitif, maybe some nibbles or horses doovers,. the idea being, if someone is running late, a half hour gives them time to ARRIVE on time for the meal!