coworker enquiring about sexuality

Southend1

duchy wrote: »

Like what ?
You must work in a very strange place
Work conversations are work or general conversations
eg "Glad it's Friday" "Do you have X file" "Did you watch Eastenders last night" etc

Not.....Did you have sex last night ?
Was it with a man or a woman ?
I don't discuss sex,politic or religion with people I merely work with...... especially if I barely know them.

I'd have considered this woman's behaviour to be odd and offensive especially as she persisted when the question was dodged. Normal people would take the hint and drop the topic.

I'd probably mention it to her line manager as a bit of an odd occurrence in case there was a pattern to her behaviour.

One job I worked in when I first joined the company I was the only straight person working there. Didn't bother me -or the lads I worked with 0it simply wasn't relevant. The biggest impact it had was if we went to the pub it was usually a gay pub and as I was in a relationship I wasn;tloking to pull at the pub so- so what !

I find people's facination about what sex other people are sleeping with a bit peculiar TBH especially when they don't fancy them. I don't think it's even an age thing-some people are just a bit odd.

Sexuality is not just about who you sleep with. A number of significant areas of someone's life are influenced by their sexuality. This can make even mundane office chit chat difficult if you are gay and others assume you aren't. It can take a lot of confidence and courage to come out to someone, and this is made more difficult when that person assumes you're straight.

Southend1

sniggings wrote: »

OMG you are strange, read the thread again and you will see it was in reference to that, I said if a gay person wants to let you know they are gay they will let you know or as in gay guys case wear a t shirt, if that offends you then sorry but that's your problem, as to anyone else it was clear what I was saying.

It probably would have been more appropriate to apologise for causing offence without calling me strange. But apology accepted anyway, thanks. Let's move on.....

AP007

Southend1 wrote: »

Sexuality is not just about who you sleep with. A number of significant areas of someone's life are influenced by their sexuality. This can make even mundane office chit chat difficult if you are gay and others assume you aren't. It can take a lot of confidence and courage to come out to someone, and this is made more difficult when that person assumes you're straight.

and not worse if they say 'are you gay'?

sniggings

Southend1 wrote: »

It probably would have been more appropriate to apologise for causing offence without calling me strange. But apology accepted anyway, thanks. Let's move on.....

sorry but I never apologised as it's not my fault you took offence, I do not go in for this "if someone feels offended then you offended them" rubbish.

You clearly misunderstood my comment, I have clearly explained it 3 times now, yet you still do not accept it, that's up to you.

yes lets move on but it's you who should be apoligising.

duchy

Southend1 wrote: »

Sexuality is not just about who you sleep with. A number of significant areas of someone's life are influenced by their sexuality. This can make even mundane office chit chat difficult if you are gay and others assume you aren't. It can take a lot of confidence and courage to come out to someone, and this is made more difficult when that person assumes you're straight.

Seriously?
Like what ?
At general office chitchat level I've never had that issue.
It seems people's sexuality matters to you -but for most people it really isn't an issue either way when it comes to people you just work with. There isn't any need nowdays to "Come out" most people don't care either way (outside of family in some but not all cases- but we're talking about those you only work with)

Southend1

AP007 wrote: »

and not worse if they say 'are you gay'?

No, much better in fact.

It's a lot easier to talk to someone when you know they aren't making assumptions about your sexuality. I would feel much more at ease.

stix62

NiallB wrote: »

You can get some great Tshirts for that....

Oh jees, let's not go there :rotfl:

tir21

If you met a filipino woman would you ask if they were a ladyboy?

duchy

Southend1 wrote: »

No, much better in fact.

It's a lot easier to talk to someone when you know they aren't making assumptions about your sexuality. I would feel much more at ease.

I think the point might be that perhaps you aren't as comfortable in your sexuality. Most gay people I know don'r feel as you do. People will always make assumptions about others -not just about sexuality but about class or income or belief or whatever. I think you're looking for something that for the vast majority of people doesn't exist because they won't know you well enough to care either way.

sniggings

Southend1 wrote: »

No, much better in fact.

It's a lot easier to talk to someone when you know they aren't making assumptions about your sexuality. I would feel much more at ease.

maybe for those that are out, not so good for those that aren't.

as said, if someone is gay they will let you no, no gay person I know finds it offensive to be presumed to be straight, they will let youknow, but if they do not want you to know or they are not out, asking them the question will either make then lie or make them feel uncomfable.

whats worse, someone thinking you are straight or someone forcing the issue and asking you your sexuallity.