coworker enquiring about sexuality

sniggings

Southend1 wrote: »

I have been asked on a number of occasions, but not nearly enough!

I can assure you I do get upset when people assume I am straight and treat me as straight! Many a young gay person struggles with this for years, sometimes to the point that they become depressed, suicidal or harm themselves.

I realise the last comment about the t shirt is supposed to be a joke, but it illustrates the point well. Why on earth should a gay person have to wear a label to tell others they are gay?

no the t shirt was not a joke...I guess you missed the I got threatened with a sanction for wearing a "No one knows I'm gay" T shirt thread :rotfl:

Denning.

tir21 wrote: »

But we don't go around assuming people we meet have cancer. Is it offensive to assume someone didn't have cancer?

Exactly. The overwhelming majority of people at any given time doesn't have cancer. The overwhelming majority of people you meet aren't gay. So you assume they are straight and don't have cancer.

That is how the human brain works, it make assumptions based on perceived probabilities and constantly updates those assumptions when it receives new information.

AP007

Denning. wrote: »

That's a good strategy for building work relationships.

I think to have a friendly relationship with co-workers there comes a point where it will come out or you lie. Be it being asked what you did at the weekend or who you going on holiday with.


If someone used gender neutral terms all the time and not going to much detail I would assume they were gay. Overly private would be second assumption. Plain rude third.

So if you are not married and don't have a gf or bf what do you say?

tir21

If they said "mind your own f***ing business?" I would point out that there are less offensive ways of telling someone you'd prefer not to talk about it!

Then I'd tell you to f*** off

Southend1

sniggings wrote: »

no the t shirt was not a joke...I guess you missed the I got threatened with a sanction for wearing a "No one knows I'm gay" T shirt thread :rotfl:

Yes, I have read that thread. I meant you were making a joke but it wasn't in very good taste, IMO considering the context in which you mentioned it.

Southend1

tir21 wrote: »

Then I'd tell you to f*** off

And I would deck you.

Denning.

AP007 wrote: »

So if you are not married and don't have a gf or bf what do you say?

'I'm not seeing anyone'. Which is fine. If you are seeing someone and you don't use a gender then most will pick up on that.

AP007

Southend1 wrote: »

And I would deck you.

ouch violence will get you no where

Southend1

AP007 wrote: »

Topics like?

Who's hot and not. Marriage, kids, what you did at the weekend......

AP007

Denning. wrote: »

'I'm not seeing anyone'. Which is fine. If you are seeing someone and you don't use a gender then most will pick up on that.

But its already established people would ask a bloke if they have a gf and a girl if they have a bf - not thinking either were gay/lesbian.

So if you were not gay/lesbian and not seeing anyone the answer would just be 'no' too all the questions.