coworker enquiring about sexuality

Voyager2002

tir21 wrote: »

How would you deal with this situation

Recently a female coworker asked me if I was gay and if I fancied men

Is this something someone could get warned about

Is this something one should brush off? Doesnt really bother me that anyone should ask this but should I tell her that someone could take offence and she could potentially get in trouble for such a question

Probably she fancies you and is trying to find out if she has any chance...

sniggings

she sounds like she's eyeing you up for her next kid, so she can claim child support off you for the next 18 years.

I wouldn't even reply to that, she sounds a vicky pollard type.

Up to you how you handle it, either tell her to grow up, ignore her or report her.

To ask someone that, when you don't even know them, it's obvious she is trying to make you uncomfortable and be nasty.

tir21

Its just strange as someone who is not bothered about anyone elses sexuality to be questioned about mine

I didnt want to deny it because that justifed the question so I tried to deflect the conversation but she insisted until I was forced to admit I'm not gay

Wish id stood my ground and refused to answer now though

bluebeary

maybe shes 'projecting' ?

if you dont feel comfortable talking about your life outside work, then dont and tell her so

remind her that this is a professional environment and to be more cautious in future

sniggings

tir21 wrote: »

Its just strange as someone who is not bothered about anyone elses sexuality to be questioned about mine

I didnt want to deny it because that justifed the question so I tried to deflect the conversation but she insisted until I was forced to admit I'm not gay

Wish id stood my ground and refused to answer now though

you could always drop a few hints you lied :rotfl:

saying that tho, best keep away from her as she sounds horrible.

Bella73

What a strange question to ask someone! Maybe that's just me.

I would tell her to mind her own business and that yes she could offend people so suggest she doesn't ask anyone in future.

I also cringe the other way around when we had an openly gay chap who came into work and basically told us on day one that he was gay...my answer to him was why would I want to know that, we are working together not planning to sleep with him plus we are all married/with someone so no one was interested anyway!

AP007

tir21 wrote: »

Its just strange as someone who is not bothered about anyone elses sexuality to be questioned about mine

I didnt want to deny it because that justifed the question so I tried to deflect the conversation but she insisted until I was forced to admit I'm not gay

Wish id stood my ground and refused to answer now though

So you told her if you were or not? Why would you do that? Ask her if shes a lesbian or just a woman in drag haha

Denning.

sniggings wrote: »

To ask someone that, when you don't even know them, it's obvious she is trying to make you uncomfortable and be nasty.

Not necessarily. It's all to do with tone. I'm not sure how old you are, but kids these days are a lot more liberal about that kind of stuff than older generations and asking in the same spirit as 'do you have a girlfriend', which is arguably just as an unacceptable thing to ask nowadays. When you see nothing wrong with something you might not realise it is an inappropriate thing to do/say.

Denning.

tir21 wrote: »

Its just strange as someone who is not bothered about anyone elses sexuality to be questioned about mine

I didnt want to deny it because that justifed the question so I tried to deflect the conversation but she insisted until I was forced to admit I'm not gay

Wish id stood my ground and refused to answer now though

Not many (straight) men would decline to answer when questioned, so don't worry about it. George Clooney is a complete bro when he is asked, refuses to dignify such stupid questions which only serves to create an unnecessary divide.

sniggings

Bella73 wrote: »

What a strange question to ask someone! Maybe that's just me.

I would tell her to mind her own business and that yes she could offend people so suggest she doesn't ask anyone in future.

I also cringe the other way around when we had an openly gay chap who came into work and basically told us on day one that he was gay...my answer to him was why would I want to know that, we are working together not planning to sleep with him plus we are all married/with someone so no one was interested anyway!

he probably has worked with the same girl the OP is now.

also saves any awkward questions, you say he is obviourly gay but I bet you would still feel awkward referring to that, unless he mentioned it first, if he were to say my parnter is picking me up tonight, would you feel it ok to say "oh is he" if he hadn't said from the start he was gay?