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coworker enquiring about sexuality

tir21
tir21 Posts: 1,042 Forumite
Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
in Employment, jobseeking & training
How would you deal with this situation

Recently a female coworker asked me if I was gay and if I fancied men

Is this something someone could get warned about

Is this something one should brush off? Doesnt really bother me that anyone should ask this but should I tell her that someone could take offence and she could potentially get in trouble for such a question
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Comments

  • sensibleadvice
    sensibleadvice Posts: 1,204 Forumite
    Depends on the workin relationship and context it was asked but if there's any doubt about how it may have been received they shouldn't have asked.

    No it's not something one should brush off.

    Yes, tell her others could take offence and she could be in trouble as a result.
  • tir21
    tir21 Posts: 1,042 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    sensibleadvice wrote: »
    Depends on the workin relationship and context it was asked but if there's any doubt about how it may have been received they shouldn't have asked.

    No it's not something one should brush off.

    Yes, tell her others could take offence and she could be in trouble as a result.

    Dont know her that well. She's relatively new and I'm not that talkative and am pretty reserved.

    Never really spoke that much to her before this incident
  • Bluemeanie_2
    Bluemeanie_2 Posts: 1,076 Forumite
    Some people are just nosey (myself included).
    I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
    Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.
  • Denning.
    Denning. Posts: 2,749 Forumite
    Tell them you don't wish to discuss that aspect of your private life. If you give a clear warning and they carry on then it is perfectly acceptable to ask your line manager to have a quiet word.

    It's not a disciplinary or offensive in itself to ask if someone is gay or straight anymore than it is to ask if someone is married or has kids. It only becomes a issue if they are making derogative comments or harassing about it.
  • gay_guy
    gay_guy Posts: 878 Forumite
    Just come out of the closet and be done with it :D;)
  • Bantex_2
    Bantex_2 Posts: 3,317 Forumite
    tir21 wrote: »
    How would you deal with this situation

    Recently a female coworker asked me if I was gay and if I fancied men

    Is this something someone could get warned about

    Is this something one should brush off? Doesnt really bother me that anyone should ask this but should I tell her that someone could take offence and she could potentially get in trouble for such a question
    Well, are you and do you?
  • AP007
    AP007 Posts: 7,109 Forumite
    edited 19 January 2014 at 10:39PM
    Bantex wrote: »
    Well, are you and do you?
    It shouldn't matter if they are and nor is it anyone else's business to be honest. Could be seen as sexual harassment.
    We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • AP007
    AP007 Posts: 7,109 Forumite
    gay_guy wrote: »
    Just come out of the closet and be done with it :D;)
    Why should they even they are? It's nothing to do with anyone.
    We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • paulofessex
    paulofessex Posts: 1,728 Forumite
    I'm sure a clever barrister would argue that it is sexual discrimination IF that person isn't asking other people if they are heterosexual....lol

    OP, you should have answered using the old saying "no I'm not but my boyfriend is"
  • NiallB
    NiallB Posts: 730 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    You can get some great Tshirts for that....
This discussion has been closed.
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