Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

duchy

Person_one wrote: »

Wedding rings aren't sexist precisely because both partners wear one. They aren't the stamp of ownership that engagement rings are.

When the man never wears one and the woman does, I like them less.

My OH will have one but odds are he won't wear it whilst working as what he does could damage it but wedding rings for all men is a fairly new fashion. It wasn't a given in the sixties or even seventies that a man would automatically have one so to me a wedding ring CAN be as sexist as a wedding ring but normally it's about personal choice.

As he proposed to me I got the ring ......but had I proposed to him I'd have bought him one.

lazer

duchy wrote: »

My OH will have one but odds are he won't wear it whilst working as what he does could damage it but wedding rings for all men is a fairly new fashion. It wasn't a given in the sixties or even seventies that a man would automatically have one so to me a wedding ring CAN be as sexist as a wedding ring but normally it's about personal choice.

As he proposed to me I got the ring ......but had I proposed to him I'd have bought him one.

My husband doesn't wear his for work either for the same reason.

He bought me and engagement ring and we bought each others wedding rings.
I did however buy him a good engagement present too - something rare that he really wanted.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Wedding rings aren't sexist precisely because both partners wear one.

No they don't always.
The majority of my friends - all similar age to me - females wear wedding rings, men don't. It wasn't the 'fashion' when I first got married for men to wear wedding rings - as duchy's post below also points out.

Person_one wrote: »

They aren't the stamp of ownership that engagement rings are.

I've never seen my engagement ring as a 'stamp of ownership. :rotfl:
My husband would erupt into hysterical laughter at the thought of him 'owning' me.

Person_one wrote: »

When the man never wears one and the woman does, I like them less.

Judgemental much?

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

I've never seen my engagement ring as a 'stamp of ownership. :rotfl:
My husband would erupt into hysterical laughter at the thought of him 'owning' me.

Out of interest, why do you think most women wear a ring when they get engaged if it isn't to advertise that they are "taken"?

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

Out of interest, why do you think most women wear a ring when they get engaged if it isn't to advertise that they are "taken"?

Do 'most' women wear a ring when they get engaged to advertise that they are 'taken'?

Seriously?

My God! And I thought it was just a symbol of the fact that my boyfriend and I had decided to get married. :rotfl:

Mind you, that was back in the days when people didn't live together before they were married, and have kids before they were married, and spend thousand and thousands of £££ on a fancy wedding that they'll be paying off for the next 10 years.

It was in the days where either the chap asked you to marry him (or you decided between yourselves that you wanted to get married), the days where you saved up money in a building society for a deposit for a house.

'Taken'?
Really?

jaylee3

Mojisola wrote: »

I didn't have an engagement ring and, although we both had wedding rings for the ceremony, neither of us wears them.

How very odd. Never known anyone who is married where neither one of the couple ever wears their wedding ring.

Person_one wrote: »

When the man never wears one and the woman does, I like them less.

Also very odd. Why?

Some really strange comments on here. Including from 'heartbreak star

"I'd feel weird about him having to fund a ring. I'm a madwoman, I know."


I mean what???

What is wrong with him having to 'fund' an engagement ring? There is no need to spend more than 150 to 200 max. Or are you one of these people who buy into that absurd belief that an engagement ring should cost 3 months salary?

And what is this absurd belief all about, that a woman is 'owned' if she has an engagement ring/is engaged? Or married? I mean what the hell? :rotfl:

People are strange.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

They aren't the stamp of ownership that engagement rings are.

Mojisola wrote: »

Out of interest, why do you think most women wear a ring when they get engaged if it isn't to advertise that they are "taken"?

I've been thinking about this whilst having lunch (very nice it was, too. Leftover tuna risotto from last night).

Do people really believe that men who may be 'out on the pull' look at a woman's left hand and if she is wearing an engagement ring, think 'Oh. OK. No point in offering to buy her a drink, she's 'taken'?

Is this really the 21st Century view of engagement rings?
A visible notification to men to stay away because some other man has put his 'stamp of ownership' on her?
:shocked:

Anatidaephobia

duchy wrote: »

Whilst I believe it's every couple's decision whether to marry or not -and know some very happy couples who've lived together without marriage for decades.... I do believe it works because BOTH of them want it that way. It does sound a bit like it is his way or no way -and basically he doesn't want to get married and you do - so his wishes matter more. You've said he never wants to get married but you are hopeful he'll have a change of heart despite this.

I spent the majority of my life having no intentions whatsoever of getting married. I didn't really see the point in marriage and certainly not a wedding. However, after I started seeing my partner, it became very clear that marriage was extremely important to him. Since it was important to him, it seemed like the logical conclusion to me was that we would get married eventually. I suppose the theory was that if we got married, it wouldn't make that much difference to me - but if we didn't get married, it would make a big difference to him. When we get married, not only will it be making him very happy, but there are legal benefits as well - that seems like a win win.

As it happens, over the years we have been together, my thoughts on marriage have changed and I'm not against it anymore.

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

Do 'most' women wear a ring when they get engaged to advertise that they are 'taken'?

Seriously?

My God! And I thought it was just a symbol of the fact that my boyfriend and I had decided to get married. :rotfl:

If an engagement ring is a symbol that two people have decided to get married, why is it that only the woman wears one?

supersaver2

Person_one wrote: »

Engagement rings aren't compulsory, in fact they're rather sexist!

You sound a barrel of laughs, a ring is sexist now!! :rotfl: