What Were Your 20's Like ?

Angry_Bear

The first half of my twenties was pretty miserable. Looking back I think I probably suffered from clinical depression through most of my 20s, although I never went to a doctor.

I struggled working 2 jobs and trying to cling on to Uni, I was lucky I was able to handle the academic work as I certainly didn't have enough energy or motivation to put in the effort I should have. Other than work I rarely left the house (most uni stuff being done from home) and didn't take care of myself at all. I lived with my OH but I think he was so focused on trying to financially keep us going while I studied that he didn't realise how bad things were for a while, or maybe he did but didn't know what to do about it.

It was only once I finished Uni and we moved away from the small village we grew up in that I feel that we've finally started living life. 27 and up has been infinitely better than 20-26! We've started putting down roots and building social networks and hobbies, going on holiday etc.

In particular, the last few years (since I've turned 30) have probably been the happiest of my life so far - I just hope I can keep things this was for as long as possible!

My point is, that life generally is a mixed bag and some people will have great 20s and rubbish 30s, some people will have rubbish 20s and great 30s (or other decades, obviously) - while it's tempting, try not to get hung up on measuring your life against other people's experiences.

pollypenny

Person_one wrote: »

Well. Mostly it's because it was much easier for you to find secure jobs, your cost of living when young wasn't so high and your homes rocketed in value without you having to do a great deal.

There's no 'right' way to spend your life, it's not a race or a competition.

Not really. No one would have dreamt of swanning off 'travelling'. It was deemed crucial to get a decent job and keep it.

Buzzybee90

pollypenny wrote: »

Not really. No one would have dreamt of swanning off 'travelling'. It was deemed crucial to get a decent job and keep it.

It's still deemed that now, not everyone goes travelling.

In fact, two people from my year (of 200) did, but they were both quite 'free spirits' ...

lady1964

I loved being 20/21, I lived at home with great parents, enjoyed my job & had a good social life & a long term boyfriend. We broke up when I was 22 then I met the man I married & we are still married. So life went like this:

Met DH & got engaged at 22
Moved into house he was buying at 22
Married & first child at 23
Moved overseas at 24
Had second child at 26
Moved back to the UK at 28
Moved house within the UK at 28
Pregnant with third child at 29

So my 20's were very busy, it was a time of being pretty settled after 28 when school days kicked in. Now as I hurtle towards 50, kids are grown up with 1 left at home, we're mortgage free, are fortunate to have the funds to travel & enjoy a comfortable lifestyle.

I don't regret a minute of how my life played out in my 20's & there is nothing I would change.

ETA: had travelling been something more common when I broke up with the l/term boyfriend, I might have considered doing that but it wasn't & I'm glad as I probably wouldn't have met my wonderful DH. We just travel when we can now & enjoy some great holidays :-)

bobmanboom

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

I do want to get married but I'm conflicted. I keep receiving conflicting advice some people harp on that now is the best time for me to meet someone? And how the pickings become slimmer the older I get but other people say 20's isn't time for serious relationships ?

I'm 20 and I've been in a serious relationship for almost 3 years now. The way I see it is that the best you can do is just take it how it comes. You might desperately want to get married in your 20's and never find the right guy or you could (like me) think you definitely don't want to get married until you're in your 30's but find the right person and have it all click.

Being in a serious relationship doesn't have to mean that you are tied down to some boring life - to me it means that I have someone to travel the world with, to be my biggest supporter and we are double trouble together.

Your 20's is only "not a time for serious relationships" if you think that you still want to sleep around or if you haven't found the right person for you yet. Being in a relationship won't stop you from progressing in a career, socially or in meeting any of your aspirations. If you meet right person they will push you on and encourage you!

Angelinaxoxo

bobmanboom wrote: »

I'm 20 and I've been in a serious relationship for almost 3 years now. The way I see it is that the best you can do is just take it how it comes. You might desperately want to get married in your 20's and never find the right guy or you could (like me) think you definitely don't want to get married until you're in your 30's but find the right person and have it all click.

Being in a serious relationship doesn't have to mean that you are tied down to some boring life - to me it means that I have someone to travel the world with, to be my biggest supporter and we are double trouble together.

Your 20's is only "not a time for serious relationships" if you think that you still want to sleep around or if you haven't found the right person for you yet. Being in a relationship won't stop you from progressing in a career, socially or in meeting any of your aspirations. If you meet right person they will push you on and encourage you!

Thank you for this

I'm happy for you. :beer:

bobmanboom

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

Thank you for this

I'm happy for you. :beer:

Thanks I have a bad habit of making myself get anxious thinking that I am not doing enough to ensure I will have a good future/career (I'm studying a business degree at the moment while working) and I also think that there is pressure out there saying that 'our generation' must be "successful" before 30.

The best bit of advice that I have had so far is to remember that I have 45 years of working life (probably 50) ahead of me.. so I don't have to get it all right on the first go and if I want to go traveling, have a child or change career path it won't be the most damaging thing I could do.

I find it helps me keep a level-head. I hope it helps you too.

Good luck

Bazey

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

Evening All :beer:

I'm turning 22 soon and all I've been doing is trying my best to navigate life.

What does the future look like for me?

What did you think about your 20s and how were they ?

It's looking great for you. You will meet a really great guy, 35 and pretty hot when he takes the paperbag off his head.

BTW. Hi, I'm Bazey, 35 etc etc.

Filey

Well let's put it this way - I would do things differently now. But we can all be wise with hindsight and can only do what we think best at the time.

I am an old lady. Got divorced after leaving ex when I was was 67. As far as I can remember now is just about the happiest I have ever been. But if I changed anything from the past the present would be different.

So remember everything works out for the best in the long (very long) run.

System

in my 20s I was married, got divorced and remarried and I'd got 4 children. I was pretty busy being a wife and Mum.