OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

BookWorm

Evening all

Late getting home tonight and it really made me notice how much the nights have drawn in...and then I realised the clocks change at the weekend too! I love the extra hour in bed.. but I'm not keen on the nights being dark early. I always feel like a mole at this time of year as I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark...very depressing

JKS - I think that's really awful As Ellie says..surely they must realise how hurtful saying those things could be.
Have you thought about taking a friend instead? Although I can certainly understand why you may prefer not to go
Sending you an extra big squishy hug

BW

runrosyfox

Hello there everyone,

Just popping by to say hi. I've contributed a few things before on various threads but haven't really stopped to chat much. This seems like a friendly place for a singlie like me! (For the long term, it seems).

Anyway, hope you're all having a relaxing evening (if that's what you want it to be!)

I had my induction session to be a voluntary back to work helper today. I've always been okay with "life admin" and have been very lucky to find a job that more than pays my bills. So I hope I can help other people who've not had such an easy time.

Will keep an eye on the thread and chip in! xx

BookWorm

Hi runrosyfox

We are a friendly bunch here..bit mad...but isn't everyone? :D

The voluntary helper role sounds like a great thing to be doing. I'm sure plenty of people will be happy for the help and support

Have a lovely evening yourself

BW

elona

JKS

That is a horrible comment to make whether it is a "joke" or not.

I would be tempted either to stay home and if asked say you did not feel you would be welcome as a single. Or find a gorgeous guy to accompany you ( but then I would feel you were being pressured
by insensitive idiots).

JustKeepSwimming_2

Well I went back to work after the weekend & have been asked by several colleagues if I'd managed to pull in time for the Xmas meal :mad:. Not a chance.So glad I'm now on half term & don't have to be at work for over a week :j (even if it does mean I now have to do stuff at home that I've been putting off for while).

ellie99 wrote: »

I don't think you're being a wimp JKS.

They may only be having a joke with you, but to say " if I couldn't even find a partner for one night then I shouldn't be allowed to come along" is a bit much. how thick skinned would someone have to be not to realise that saying that could be hurtful?

I bet they'd be shocked though if they realised that it's put you off going. It's really unfortunate that you're the only single in your department....

Thanks for the words of wisdom all - I've resolved not to go & just have yet another night in, alone (except for kids). TBH its £35 a head just for food & as its in a village pub (since everyone drives, don't they ) it would be £25 each way in a cab :eek:. All well out of my budget really.

Ellie you're right, I think some of them would be quite shocked if they realised how upset I was over this. As well as being the only singlie in the dept., its also an odd place in that everyone seems to be very happily married, & all spend a lot of time talking about how great their OHs are - not in the false, my OH is better than your OH kind of thing, but in a truly genuine way.

Break times are often full of news about how one OH has treated their partner to a trip/book/meal/gift etc that the partner always wanted. I've met several of the couples & they do all seem lovely together - which is great, I don't want you all to think I want them to be unhappy :rotfl:, but it does rather highlight the fact that I'm the oddity. In every other place I've worked there are always 1 or 2 people declaring they're going to bury their OH under the patio (& meaning it).

Well done for getting your tax return done - mine is still on my carp table with the rest of my paperwork. Its on my list for half term

BookWorm wrote: »

Evening all

Late getting home tonight and it really made me notice how much the nights have drawn in...and then I realised the clocks change at the weekend too! I love the extra hour in bed.. but I'm not keen on the nights being dark early. I always feel like a mole at this time of year as I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark...very depressing

JKS - I think that's really awful As Ellie says..surely they must realise how hurtful saying those things could be.
Have you thought about taking a friend instead? Although I can certainly understand why you may prefer not to go
Sending you an extra big squishy hug

BW

Thanks BW - I would think about a friend if it wasn't so expensive (& as the few friends I'd consider asking all drive, it seems a bit rude to say come to my works do but you'll have to drive :rotfl:).

You're right about the nights drawing in I don't like this time of year very much really even if it does mean I can wear more layers of fleece than normal! I don't enjoy all the faff that comes with Xmas, but I do like it when the lights go on.

elona wrote: »

JKS

That is a horrible comment to make whether it is a "joke" or not.

I would be tempted either to stay home and if asked say you did not feel you would be welcome as a single. Or find a gorgeous guy to accompany you ( but then I would feel you were being pressured
by insensitive idiots).

Don't know any gorgeous guys - apart from a few married to my friends :rotfl: In fact I don't know any guys of any description that aren't married to friends.

Anyone read "How I Lost You" - I've just started it & really want to keep reading but real life keeps getting in the way :mad: Now my kids want feeding, again.....

Hope all have a good day/evening.

selloptape

'How I Lost You' sounds right up my street, I love a good thriller.... The only prob is that I can't put them down and I suddenly realise I'm still curled up on the sofa with my book at 3am!

PS I would have found those comments upsetting too JSK! Hopefully they'll have forgotten about it by the time you're next in. x

ellie99

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Ellie you're right, I think some of them would be quite shocked if they realised how upset I was over this.

JKS, have you considered telling them straight that you're not enjoying their joking around?

Your work sounds rather like an office I used to work in. It was sometimes quite a stressful place (think bricks through windows and car windscreens, threats to "get you after 5pm", things like that) and we had a good office atmosphere where we all joked and teased each other and had a laugh. But sometimes one of us would overstep the mark, and the person on the receiving end would speak up right away, and an apology would be given, because we did all care about each other (well, most of us anyway )

It sounds like your colleagues think they're having a laugh, and probably have no idea it's hurtful to you.
What do you think they would say if you told them that you find life hard going as a singlie, and it's not a joke to you?

I highly recommend getting your tax return out of the way, that feeling of smugness afterwards is lovely :rotfl:
(although now I'm worrying that I haven't got a confirmation email from them like I did the last couple of years!)

BookWorm

Happy weekend folks :j

I've had a lovely lie in today... only been up an hour or so Must have needed the sleep! It will stand me in good stead though as I'm off out tonight into the city for a comedy night. A few drinks and (hopefully) lots of laughs is just what I need :T

The weather isn't playing ball though as currently raining I will keep my fingers crossed that it dries up before this evening

How are you all?

BW

3forholidays

Hello BW :wave: & everyone else who is about at the moment.

Comedy night sounds good - enjoy yourself!

Currently doing a relation a favour by dog sitting this weekend.

JustKeepSwimming_2

selloptape wrote: »

'How I Lost You' sounds right up my street, I love a good thriller.... The only prob is that I can't put them down and I suddenly realise I'm still curled up on the sofa with my book at 3am!

PS I would have found those comments upsetting too JSK! Hopefully they'll have forgotten about it by the time you're next in. x

I've finished the book & it was very good, kept me gripped all the way. Not sure what to read next.

ellie99 wrote: »

JKS, have you considered telling them straight that you're not enjoying their joking around?

Your work sounds rather like an office I used to work in. It was sometimes quite a stressful place (think bricks through windows and car windscreens, threats to "get you after 5pm", things like that) and we had a good office atmosphere where we all joked and teased each other and had a laugh. But sometimes one of us would overstep the mark, and the person on the receiving end would speak up right away, and an apology would be given, because we did all care about each other (well, most of us anyway )

It sounds like your colleagues think they're having a laugh, and probably have no idea it's hurtful to you.
What do you think they would say if you told them that you find life hard going as a singlie, and it's not a joke to you?

I highly recommend getting your tax return out of the way, that feeling of smugness afterwards is lovely :rotfl:
(although now I'm worrying that I haven't got a confirmation email from them like I did the last couple of years!)

Not yet got around to the tax return so not enjoying that feeling of smugness yet, but hoping to get it done this week. Honest.

I probably should say something at work, but TBH I'm a bit fed up with always feeling like the odd one out, & highlighting how insensitive I feel there are, since being a singlie is darn hard work, is yet another way of pointing out how I'm different to all of them. Luckily I rarely see any of them outside of work, & I don't socialise with the majority of them (those I do see out of work is only 3 - 4 times/year) so I'm planning on keeping my head down & my gob shut

I have a major victory to report - Ma has got a panic alarm installed :j. Its one that she has a button around her neck (which may be a problem if she forgets to put it on) & she seems to be delighted with it :T. So much so that she says she cant think why she didn't get it sooner & wishes someone had told her about them sooner, but she's glad her fiend suggested it. I suppose the 2 years that I've been suggesting one has been erased from her memory, like everything else I've ever said to her :wall: I am however good enough to pay for it though....

Still, its great to have that peace of mind.

Hope the comedy night was fun BW, & your sides were sore the next day.

Hugs to all who would like one & have a great day all.