OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

ellie99

Blimey CRANKY, your Borat sounds far more destructive than the "house mouse"...I think we'd be better just sticking with the mouse :rotfl:

Synonymous

Hi everyone, a little while back I started reading this thread from the start but it was just too big! Have just read the last few pages just now, hugs to anyone who needs them I'm a fiercely independent single in my thirties and feeling like I should get a few things in order.

I have been thinking I should keep a record somewhere of all of my affairs, and I remember there being some discussion of this in the early stages of the thread. I have assets, and no Will, so that is one thing to address, but also as a good MSE-er, I have many bank accounts, systems of money and DDs coming out of different places, etc, all done online - no one would even know where to look! I feel like I should leave a log of all this for if anything should happen - even if I was ill, all of the passwords etc exist in my head only. My concern though is for security if I were literally to write out every password and log-in detail in one place. So I wanted to ask what other people do? Do you have it all written down and how do you keep it safe?

With regards to writing a Will, I really don't know where to start. Both of my parents are alive and I have one sister, they are also named on my life insurance and they are all financially secure so don't 'need' my inheritance as such. I still hope to find the right person and have children, so obviously my priorities will change over time. I don't know anything about Wills as I've (thankfully) never lost a close relative as an adult - does it have to be an 'official' one, and are there compulsory things I will have to decide and allocate to people? I think the main thing stopping me writing one is not knowing in advance what things I have to decide and put in it! Any help would be appreciated as I imagine this is something other singles have had to deal with already.

mum2one

It was cold this morning g, not the best of turnouts, made £20 so pleased with that, Dd is back tomorrow ngt, be so glad to get her home, it transpires they had problems last ngt, (not sure how/how) but the venue - they had 3 x 19yr olds found outside the kids bedrooms - the police were called - they got in through a broken window - the. Enid has been hired out for just the school there's 80 kids and 10 teachers - where were they, or the staff from the venue - can't even say to Dd to sleep with the suitcase against the door - she's in a room of 6 - no ensuite - time if someone needs the loo to go in pairs.

After the McCann incident, kids being attached before you expect the venue to be safe, and preventions put in place .

ellie99

Synonymous wrote: »

I have been thinking I should keep a record somewhere of all of my affairs, and I remember there being some discussion of this in the early stages of the thread. I have assets, and no Will, so that is one thing to address, but also as a good MSE-er, I have many bank accounts, systems of money and DDs coming out of different places, etc, all done online - no one would even know where to look! I feel like I should leave a log of all this for if anything should happen - even if I was ill, all of the passwords etc exist in my head only. My concern though is for security if I were literally to write out every password and log-in detail in one place. So I wanted to ask what other people do? Do you have it all written down and how do you keep it safe?

With regards to writing a Will, I really don't know where to start. Both of my parents are alive and I have one sister, they are also named on my life insurance and they are all financially secure so don't 'need' my inheritance as such. I still hope to find the right person and have children, so obviously my priorities will change over time. I don't know anything about Wills as I've (thankfully) never lost a close relative as an adult - does it have to be an 'official' one, and are there compulsory things I will have to decide and allocate to people? I think the main thing stopping me writing one is not knowing in advance what things I have to decide and put in it! Any help would be appreciated as I imagine this is something other singles have had to deal with already.

Hi Synonymous :hello:

You mention 2 very important things for singlies to sort out!

I'm no expert but here's what I've done -

wills - I believe you can buy a will writing kit and do it yourself, but as it's your first one and you're not sure what you're doing, you'd probably be better going to a local solicitor.
You can even get it done for just a charity donation this October, see http://freewillsmonth.org.uk/

You just need to decide who you're leaving things to, and in what proportion, and you need to decide who you want to act as your executor (the poor sod who has to carry out all your wishes )
Having just discovered I'm an executor (and dreading the responsibility), maybe you should ask the person/s before you write the will. It can be quite time consuming, so maybe think about the age and health of your parents before asking them, would your sister be a better option, for example?
(I have been named as joint executor with my father, and he is planning to refuse to do it when we visit the solicitor today, as his health is not up to it).

But once you've chosen your executor and who gets what, it's easy

I keep all the banking/bills stuff in 2 cupboards, and my children know it's there, but I'm planning on writing it all down in a folder. I've bought a ring binder, so that as things change I can just replace a page rather than have to score things out, and it will always be up to date. Need to slap my wrist as I've not written in the folder yet, it's still empty!

I've not written my passwords down, and don't intend to. Apparently if you die and someone else does stuff on your accounts using your passwords, it's frowned upon (don't know if it's actually illegal) so I don't need to put temptation in their way.

If I die the bank accounts will be frozen anyway, and if I leave details and phone numbers of things like utilities/phone, they can sort those out by phone.

Actually most sites have a "forgotten your password?" button, don't they? So if you forgot it yourself, you could use that.
I suppose if you were so ill you couldn't tell someone else your password, you'd be too ill to ask them to pay the bill or whatever anyway. (Sorry I think I'm rambling, I got up too early this morning )

Once I start thinking of all the problems that could crop up when living alone, my mind goes into meltdown.
Having just had a death in the family I've been thinking about wills and stuff far too much! The other thing occupying my mind is clearing out stuff in the house so my children don't have to do it.
This year I've got rid of 751 things so far, I'm aiming for 1000

RosiePuddingPaws

Ellie99 has covered most of the will stuff. I did my first one earlier this year. The solicitor had a quick word on the phone before I saw him and said to think about what I wanted to happen to my remains, if there were any special things I wanted to leave to people, what would happen to any pets, what would happen to the rest and then decide on executors who could make it happen. Although I don't plan on anyone doing anything with it for some considerable time, it has concentrated my mind a bit to sort through and chuck some junk. Still a lot left though!

How did it get to be Monday already? And its raining (just as well as the ironing isn't done as the new iron was ordered on line so is arriving at work today!).

RPP

Synonymous

Hi Ellie and Rosie, thank you both for your replies.

Ellie, I'm sorry to hear you've suffered a loss and have the tough task of executing the Will - I hope my questions haven't stirred things up for you too much - sending big hugs.

I'm not old enough to have a free Will written, but they do have a guide to help plan which I've downloaded to have a look at, so thank you for the link. What you said about passwords etc. does make sense, I guess knowing what and where is enough for financial matters, not how to access them. I'll have to have a think about executors as my sister lives abroad so probably isn't the best choice, but my dad is relatively young and healthy so will probably agree to do it for now.

Like both of you I've also been thinking about what I have (and I what I need). So much of my stuff would probably end up in the bin or the charity shop if anything happened to me, and it must be an awful job to sort through it all. I've also been decluttering, not necessarily for if anything happens to me, but so that I have some breathing space and room for the things I really love! My main issue is never getting round to posting things to sell, but not being willing to just give them to charity

Thanks again for your replies, it's a bit of a taboo subject but I think it's got to be done to make things as easy as possible for my family.

mum2one

I had my first will wrote when I was 32, after having dd, I revamped it about 2 yes ago - (42), I had mine down under the donate to charity scheme, for me it's more protection for dd should I kick the bucket before she's 18.

My other main area was the house, anything happens to parents it come to me, then me to dd, if something happened to me and dd same time - I've had it wrote that it goes to my friends 2 sons, just is rather that than probate and my lovely cousins get there hands on it.

Apologies for the mornin thoughts xx

Update from dd - there in a Disney shop at a hypermarket - she's happy xx

ellie99

Oops sorry synonymous, I didn't realise there was an age limit on the will writing.

We have been to see the solicitor today...the bad news is that there IS a way to hurry through an imminent house sale, but only if the house is in England...in Scotland we have to do it all in the right order (ie. the buyer will likely back out because getting probate will take months). One of those moments when you wish the law was UK wide, not just England. I had done some research online and suspected it didn't apply to Scotland.

So I'm doing my best to find my "calm vibes" and my "it will all get sorted eventually vibes"
It's a complicated estate, so will likely take months, so I can't be worried about it for months!

I was really nervous before we went, but the most stressful part was driving my parents (because they need dropped at the door) and having my driving faults pointed out :rotfl:

JustKeepSwimming_2

LavenderBees wrote: »

So, YBC has his own personal Reg, eh? I've always thought cats are sooooo cool. YBC is a bit like the cool Bacardi Cat with a secret life, then? Who'd a thunk it

I've had a lovely day . My bargain ceoanothus standard tree thingy that I loved a few weeks ago, up'd and died, so I dug it up and took it back. Have never done that before but I was given a refund no problem. That funded four much reduced gorgeous lavender plants - I arrived at the clearance section just as they were all marked down to £3 :T

I wish I'd tried that - assumed the garden centre would just laugh & say something like "Well, it was thriving when it left here....". I've always put it down to my black fingers :rotfl:

I've decided if I can't find a standard hardy and bee friendly something or other for under £20, then I might treat myself to a bird bath.

Target practice for your two?

It's been a nice pottering day, and now I'm just waiting for my veges to cook before dinner and the 2nd scary episode of Humans :eek:

Why is it Monday tomorrow?

LB xx

ETA - LMMM will sort the mouse for a small fee of freshly cooked chicken. Apart from killing freshly washed socks, her other skills are catching flies, demolishing anything in her path, and little love biting of my chin at 4am every day. I think she is overqualified, myself :rotfl:

Still haven't watched part one yet - was part 2 just as good?

mum2one wrote: »

It was cold this morning g, not the best of turnouts, made £20 so pleased with that, Dd is back tomorrow ngt, be so glad to get her home, it transpires they had problems last ngt, (not sure how/how) but the venue - they had 3 x 19yr olds found outside the kids bedrooms - the police were called - they got in through a broken window - the. Enid has been hired out for just the school there's 80 kids and 10 teachers - where were they, or the staff from the venue - can't even say to Dd to sleep with the suitcase against the door - she's in a room of 6 - no ensuite - time if someone needs the loo to go in pairs.

After the McCann incident, kids being attached before you expect the venue to be safe, and preventions put in place .

Goodness Mum2one, that's scary. I remember this horrific case as it was quite near to the town where we'd stayed on a school trip years before. Hope she (& you) weren't too freaked out by it. Is she back today or tomorrow? Well done on the sale :T

Hi Synonymous :wave: - regarding your will, you may find that some solicitors will charge you less during free will month (especially if you phone up & pretend you didn't realise there was a age limit ). I think I made mine when I separated for about £75, so it wasn't a huge expense. My solicitor suggested I just cover the basic bequests in the actual will for the most expensive assets, then write a list of what personal item you want to go where on a separate info sheet for your executors, give each a copy of it (with a copy of your will) & keep the original somewhere safe....

It won't be legally binding like the will, but it'll cut down on the faff for the executors. My friend's Great Aunt left 285 separate bequests in her will & named her solicitors as executors (so they had a hefty chunk of her estate :eek: ) & it took ages to wind up, as the solicitors had to wait for written confirmation than Mrs X had received the book, Mrs Y the iron etc. & they had to use a person finding specialist to track down the NOK for a few beneficiaries that had died without the Great Aunt realising. Whole thing was a nightmare & took the best part of a year until it was completely settled, & all potentially avoidable.

He also suggested not going into funeral wishes in great detail in the will, but again using a separate document of wishes.

Suppose it all comes down to whom you chose as your executors as to how firmly you want to nail everything down.... I've put the house & any cash :rotfl: I have in my will, & done a list of what I'd like my friends to have, but as I won't be around to find out if my executor has behaved themselves, it doesn't really matter too much to me

I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing a DIY will - as things have a habit of not quite working out how I mean them to in my life :rotfl:

Today's unforeseen annoyance is that I seem to have lost my ridiculously expensive prescription sunglasses . I always, always keep them in the same place so was thrown into a major panic when they weren't there, & naturally I need them for tomorrow as I'm having an eye check & can't wear my contact lenses for the day. Have spent almost 2 hours combing the house, checking bags (as I had them when I went away last month). No joy....& I'm gutted as I can't afford to replace them & I'll have a headache all day tomorrow as I really don't cope with bright lights.

DD is in trouble again at school - walked out of a lesson as she couldn't see the point of f'in German as she was never going to go there anyway. I'll be hauled in for a "chat" but DD has been "punished" by being made to work in a single study area - which is what she wanted all along as she hates some of the people in that class (not too fond of anyone just now :wall:). I've had this "chat" before when I've suggested they find a way to actually punish her rather than giving her what she wants all the time, but they're not very imaginative in their punishments.

If she'd have said that to my old German teacher she'd have been humiliated by having to sit on the stage every day for a week of school assemblies & had the whole school listen to her public telling off - I'd have been mortified & the few girls who had to "be on the stage" were usually in tears by day 3 & never did it again.

Trouble is, she'd think she was the bees knees & the coolest girl in the school if that happened to her. I've gone seriously wrong somewhere in bringing her up

Any suggestions for a suitable school punishment? Being whacked across the head stopped me talking in geography, but I gather they can't do that these days :rotfl: Shame, as it was very effective....

bexster1975

Hello JKS

gosh you are having a bit of a time of it aren't you?!

I'm afraid as a teacher the types of punishments I would meter out include duties at breaks and or lunchtimes ( chewing gum scraping is unpopular but as a science teacher there are plenty of others )
I would make her stay after school for a few nights to catch up work she is missing whilst messing about. Do school have a good pastoral ( support) system?

At home, if I was going to be hauled I to school you could rest assured she would be punished at home too.
Don't be so hard on yourself, teenagers are rarely a good reflection on their parents efforts

Bexster