OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

BookWorm

Morning All,

Woken up to a wet day here Why is it that it's always lovely and sunny on the days I'm at work... and then rubbish when I'm not? I guess the silver lining is that I can legitimately postpone the garden jobs

Some better news is that I should be getting my car back today. :T It was supposed to be yesterday with me collecting it from them but they called and said could we re-arrange for today and they willl bring it to me. That suits me much better!

Like several of you, I have a long list of chores to do and errands to run (several of which are leftover from last weeks change of plans).... LB - my motivation seems to have got up and left too

Have a good day everyone

RosiePuddingPaws

Ellie99 - we've had the lovely weather most of the week, although it is overcast at the moment. Having said that, it is a mixed blessing when working as I work in a tin shed, sorry industrial unit, on the mezzanine floor so it has been rather too warm. We rarely have pleasant temperatures, either too hot or too cold. It is the first week this year that I have had summer clothes on at work. Winter is usually three layers (and a blanket on the chair for really cold days).

Lavender Bees - I hate to say this but you will probably have to clean through more than once before you have removed all the plaster dust. It gets (as you know) everywhere. The sawdust from having fitted wardrobes is much the same.

Got a lot of jobs to get through this weekend, but don't want to do them. Unfortunately, like the rest of you, if I don't do them no-one else will (and some are left over from last weekend ...).

One bit of good news for me is that the engineer is coming this week to fit the wire (or whatever) so I can change to fibre broadband. I do hope it will mean better broadband service. I signed up to the SSE offer that MSE Martin mentioned recently.

Hope everyone has a good day and achieves what they need to.

RPP

JustKeepSwimming_2

ellie99 wrote: »

...5 months JKS :eek:
It seems the whole "dying" thing is set up to be as complicated as possible. We got the death certificate today, so things are getting organized now, but just as parents thought they could do something...they took the certificate to the bank to freeze the account, and were told the bank wouldn't do anything until they had seen the will?! What's that all about? How long has this been a rule? What the f...ing heck do they need that for?
No wonder my parents are fed up trying to sort stuff out.

Is anyone getting warm summer weather?
It's still cold here, my fingers were so cold this morning that I put gloves on! It is June, isn't it?

Its a horrible business Ellie, & I feel for you. My situation wasn't quite as bad as it sounds, since Dad had left a will (even though it did take a while to find in his filing system ). I was the sole executor so was able to get probate very quickly using the coroner's certificate, & once I'd had that probate certificate, I was able to start to get things sorted. Apart from 1 bank whose muppet insisted even those 2 certificates together weren't enough :mad:. Can't imagine why they could even think this, but they were the bank that offered the most compensation...

I was very surprised at how differently I was treated by different staff. Some were lovely & went above & beyond, taking me to a quiet room & making me tea before discussing anything. The coroner's certificate gives far more detail than the death certificate about the cause of death, & as Dad had quite a medically violent death all the gory details were listed on it. Quite naturally people wanted to know what had happened, which I wasn't happy to explain in the middle of a crowded bank full of strangers, yet some banks wouldn't take me to a quiet room The building societies were all amazing, especially the West Brom - if they did a current account & I lived anywhere near a branch I'd swap to them in a flash.

Before I'd got probate, some of the more helpful banks agreed to lodge a marker on his accounts so that anyone trying to draw on them would be questioned, but they wouldn't have done this without the coroner's certificate. So I can't see why they couldn't do the same after seeing a death certificate? I suppose they need to see the will/probate certificate to prove that you are indeed the executor, but it still doesn't change the fact that your Aunt is dead, so why can't anyone, executor or not, ask for a marker to be put on the account?

I was able to sort out the funeral with the coroner's certificate, though Dad had ordered that there wasn't to be any service or marking of the occasion (that word seems wrong but don't know what else to use) & that nobody was to be at the crematorium. I did disobey him & went with one of his on/off girlfriends - it was surreal to see the coffin disappear in an empty crematorium & I'm glad the man doing it insisted on playing some quiet music, as it would have been so grim to watch in silence.

LavenderBees wrote: »

...On a lighter note, I've discovered that my bedroom TV has switched to analogue, and I can't switch channels. WHY??!! I have to come downstairs to change channels, which will get wearing pretty soon, I reckon :rotfl:

I luvs weekends even scrubby ones. Have a good'un

LB xx

I'd second your suggestion to Ellie about going over to the bereavement board. I wasn't on MSE when Dad died, but I found the Which Guide to probate good, & the staff at the Coroner's Court were also very helpful.

Maybe someone on the techie board could help out with your TV problem? They're another helpful bunch, even if I don't understand what they mean a lot of the time & they have to tell me what to do in very small steps :rotfl:

ellie99 wrote: »

We suspiciously are wondering if it's a government rule, so they can keep more checks on where any money goes and that any taxes are paid? I've been searching online but can't find anything.
They went to 2 banks are were told the same thing. The banks have been as unhelpful as possible since she went into the care home last year, to the extent parents are thinking of closing their accounts as a protest (but of course no-one will pay any attention anyway!)

Another chilly and damp day...but I'm working all day so it won't matter

Enjoy your scrubbing LB

ETA - that is one well packed bag mum2one :rotfl:

Impressed that he packs it all himself too Mum2one - that's one special dog

I thought HMRC could access pretty much whatever info they wanted from anyone's bank accounts at nay time? A neighbour is a retired police inspector & he says he'd much rather be in serious trouble with the police than HMRC, since HMRC are far more powerful :eek:

A bit of a rubbish day here so far; I'd been invited to a works afternoon tea but have been in two minds about going as I feel I don't really have very much in common with them (although they all are nice people). Whatever subject is being discussed my experiences are usually the complete opposite of everyone elses - their kids are all grade A material, mine are struggling with school & are now skipping lessons (very embarrassing when you work at the same school as many of their teachers feel the need to comment on it when they see you passing in the corridor). They all have fabulous holidays planned & we're most likely staying at home due to lack of funds, etc. etc. It feels easier not to go, & to also save myself a 4 hour round trip on 4 different buses. The sky also looks very, very dark...

Although this morning my body has made the decision for me - I have an impressive blotchy rash over much of it, & I'm feeling rather wobbly, so I won't go in case I have some lurgy. Not sue what it is, although I know what its not (chicken pox, measles, etc.) so its probably (hopefully) just a viral infection.

I'm so sorry I rarely have anything positive to post . I do try to see the positive in my life, like being thankful that this rash is only a viral infection rather than measles, but then my inner brat yells "But couldn't I just not have anything wrong with me this weekend instead !!!!!!? Why do I always have to be glad that life is only somewhat carp rather than completely carp every day? How about a prolonged stretch on non-carp life? Even an entire week with no drama would be lovely."

So in an effort to change things I bought this, my first (& probably last) self help book. I haven't got very far as near the beginning the author lists how likely it is for single people/those who don't have a series of strong relationships/supportive family/strong sense of community to die much earlier than those who are in supportive, loving families/relationships .

Then he talks about doing exercises with a close & trusted friend or partner. Nowhere does he entertain the thought that there are people that just don't have these friends to "talk over all the ways you present yourself" to, or have any sympathy for those in this lonely situation. So my take home message is that I'm even more of a social misfit/unlikeable than I thought I was before I bought the book, & its all of my own making :rotfl: Not a book I'd recommend to anyone.

The sky is now really black, so like BW I can safely put off the boring garden chores for today - although they won't be going away sadly. Off to get the washing in before the deluge.....

Have a good w/e all

bexster1975

Hello

Don't be sorry JKS we have all been there I'm sure to some extent at one time or another.

May I say, without wishing to be rude, that maybe the self help book you have chosen is not the best for your situation. I really do believe that people will like you for who you are, or not. But that's their choice and their loss if they choose to walk on. Might I suggest this book instead.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/!!!!-Ultimate-Spiritual-John-Parkin-ebook/dp/B00GYCM31C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434803118&sr=8-1&keywords=f+ck+it+book

Don't be put off by the "spiritual way" thing. I think it might help change the way you think about things a bit.

Bexster

JustKeepSwimming_2

Maybe this post will raise a few smiles....

In the few minutes it took for me to stand up, finish my mug of tea & find my slippers to go out & get the washing in, a seagull flew by & managed to deposit on all 4 of my work shirts that I'd carefully hung up on hangers so they wouldn't need ironing.

Oh well, the machine has just finished the second load, so I can hang all of that inside in the kitchen on my large clothes horse, & throw by shirts back in for another wash - bit of a PITA but not the end of the world. After all, lets emphasise the positives - I have a machine & plenty of powder, I have the time to spend doing this as I don't have to rush anywhere, & I can dry them indoors as I have a brilliant clothes horse that can dry loads of stuff.

As I'm hanging the second from last item on the clothes horse, I hear a ping & it collapses, whacking me in the leg & depositing the clean clothes on the not very clean kitchen floor (yes, its on my chores list ). But not only does it catch me, the clothes horse manages to knock DD's half empty bottle of blackcurrant squash (why did it have to be blackcurrant ) all over the damp washing now on the floor.

Anyone care to guess what wash load this was? Yes, the whites wash, of course (couldn't possibly have happened to the black wash could it?). Well, I'll just have to put them back in the machine quickly to stop the blackcurrant staining - oh, wait, the machine is on with the bird strike shirts in it, & I can't stop & drain it as I don't have the strength to pull one of the hoses out, so I'm going to have to soak all these stained clothes by hand in the bath, otherwise they'll be ruined. But before that I'll have to clean the bath as DD's eczema has flared up & she had a bath this morning with special soothing oils, which leave the bath coated with what looks & feels like an oil slick, & takes lots of elbow grease to clean off.

So I dump what clothes I can in the sink with cold water & trundle off downstairs to get the bath cleaner. Only its an empty bottle that DD has put back in the cupboard (like you do ) after she used it last week. So I rummage around & find a not so good bath cleaner which takes me much longer to clean the bath of the oil. Hoping all the white will be saved, & I've got a colour run sachet to throw in the machine when that has finished.

Then I'll need to go & buy a new clothes horse if this one isn't fixable, & have all the fun of getting it home on the bus.

Honestly, how hard can doing the laundry get? Still waiting for the man with the hidden camera to jump out, yelling surprise :rotfl: My life feels like a constant 1 step forward, 5 steps back treadmill.

And no, I'm not going to attempt any ironing today. What else could go wrong - scorching my shirts, fusing my house, the ironing board breaking, electrocution.....

Apparently what doesn't kill me will make me stronger, & God only sends me what I can deal with, & all that ***** is wearing a little thin now.

Sincerely hope others are having a better day than me :T

bexster1975

JKS

I am not going to reveal how much I laughed whilst reading your last post, as I'm not sure that will help you.

I think a nice rest, a biscuit and a good film is in order this afternoon.

Sorry about the horrid birds and black currant juice

Bexster

JustKeepSwimming_2

bexster1975 wrote: »

Hello

Don't be sorry JKS we have all been there I'm sure to some extent at one time or another.

May I say, without wishing to be rude, that maybe the self help book you have chosen is not the best for your situation. I really do believe that people will like you for who you are, or not. But that's their choice and their loss if they choose to walk on. Might I suggest this book instead.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/!!!!-Ultimate-Spiritual-John-Parkin-ebook/dp/B00GYCM31C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434803118&sr=8-1&keywords=f+ck+it+book

Don't be put off by the "spiritual way" thing. I think it might help change the way you think about things a bit.

Bexster

Thanks Bexster - the title is certainly something I utter several times a day!

I realise I do need to change my mental attitude to life (or whatever its called) as I've been stuck in the "well I wonder what could go wrong today?" mentality, rather than expecting things not to go wrong..... But things like my above laundry incident do keep happening to me, for no apparent reason. One could argue that maybe my clothes horse was old & therefore could break at any time (it isn't), or that DD left the drink too near the edge of the worktop (she didn't). Its just another bizarre sequence of things that happened, & here are a few more for your enjoyment;

Some years ago I was travelling on a train, just coming into the station that I wanted to get off at. Think there were about 4 or 5 carriages, all with automatic door locks. The door lock light went on & all the other doors opened, except mine, despite pressing the button a few times. The window didn't open, so the platform guard yelled for me to run through the train & get off through another door, but I'd have to be quick as he couldn't hold the train.

I started to run, but a lady with a baby got up & I almost crashed into her, & I didn't feel I could yell "get out of my way" so I had to wait for her to sit back down, by which time the train was pulling out of my stop :mad:. I ended up having to wait for half an hour till the next stop, then wait on the platform for a train back (as naturally I'd just missed the train going back) for almost an hour. I'd been meeting a friend for lunch, so that didn't happen as she only had time for a quick 15 min coffee before collecting her kids

Then there was the time when the bus driver decided to change the route as he was running late, & nipped down the bypass, meaning I couldn't get off at the stop I wanted & had to go all the way into the city & back out again on a different bus. I did get a free weeks bus pass from that complaint, but again I'd missed meeting up with a friend (luckily not the same friend ).

The there was the time I somehow got locked in the storeroom in my last job. It was opened with a key, & I've always taken the key out of the lock & put it in my pocket, so I couldn't be locked in (learnt this trick after being locked in by an oh so hilarious colleague). The door slammed behind me, like it always did, but when I tried to open the door it wouldn't budge . Maintenance had to come & rescue me & they said the slam must have disturbed something within the locking mechanism, although they didn't know what as it all looked fine to them. Took me ages to live that one down :rotfl:

Then there was the coffee machine that hated me - bizarrely it would not give me a cup & I'd watch my drink disappear through the drip tray, while the person before & after me both got cups. This used to happen about once every 2-3 weeks & I could never fathom out how it knew I was there

So far this year I've found a large piece of plastic in a microwavable lasagne & something that I hope was also plastic in a chicken burger (never found out what it was). Last year I found a piece of cartilage in a fish pie, almost broke a tooth on a piece of grit that turned out to be part of a herb at a pizzeria, & the year before that I did break a back tooth on a piece of shortbread (who breaks a tooth on shortbread? :rotfl:). The worst thing I ever found was a dead beetle in a sealed box of chocolates :eek: . I've done well out of compensation/apologies, but it would be nice not to have to bother complaining in the first place.

I have to cross at a light controlled crossing to get to & from work, & I always wait until the light is red before I cross, even if there is no traffic. So far this week I could have been run over 3 time if I'd not stopped on the actual zebra crossing & let the idiot drivers run through the red light :mad:. This is very scary as its also the crossing that the school children use, although I may start adopting their method of just wandering out into the traffic, clutching my mobile & not even looking as it seems to work well for them.....

Its exciting, being me :rotfl: Bet you're all jealous & wish you too could live such a life of weird uncertainties.

JustKeepSwimming_2

bexster1975 wrote: »

JKS

I am not going to reveal how much I laughed whilst reading your last post, as I'm not sure that will help you.

I think a nice rest, a biscuit and a good film is in order this afternoon.

Sorry about the horrid birds and black currant juice

Bexster

Oh sure, its funny now....

Actually, it is funny, so I don't mind people laughing at/with me. Shame it has to be on an almost daily basis though & I'm invariably the one that "stuff" happens to. I wouldn't wish these things to happen to anyone else, but I'd like them to stop happening to me now please. I've had enough for the next 3 lifetimes, never mind the rest of this one

CRANKY40

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

I'm so sorry I rarely have anything positive to post . I do try to see the positive in my life, like being thankful that this rash is only a viral infection rather than measles, but then my inner brat yells "But couldn't I just not have anything wrong with me this weekend instead !!!!!!? Why do I always have to be glad that life is only somewhat carp rather than completely carp every day? How about a prolonged stretch on non-carp life? Even an entire week with no drama would be lovely."

So in an effort to change things I bought this, my first (& probably last) self help book. I haven't got very far as near the beginning the author lists how likely it is for single people/those who don't have a series of strong relationships/supportive family/strong sense of community to die much earlier than those who are in supportive, loving families/relationships .

Then he talks about doing exercises with a close & trusted friend or partner. Nowhere does he entertain the thought that there are people that just don't have these friends to "talk over all the ways you present yourself" to, or have any sympathy for those in this lonely situation. So my take home message is that I'm even more of a social misfit/unlikeable than I thought I was before I bought the book, & its all of my own making :rotfl: Not a book I'd recommend to anyone.

The sky is now really black, so like BW I can safely put off the boring garden chores for today - although they won't be going away sadly. Off to get the washing in before the deluge.....

Have a good w/e all

You sound quite normal to me actually. Does anyone single with kids have that kind of "Pollyanna" outlook, lol? I also don't have the kind of friends that I would trust with some of my innermost thoughts although I do sometimes talk stuff over with the 10 year old who can be surprisingly accurate at pinpointing the cause of my problems.

For what it's worth, I'd sling that book. The only person that really needs to like you is you yourself.

I'm a bit tired today and as we're not going out I thought I would retire to my boudoir to recover from the week before run of 3 wake ups before 5am when the boy had a tummy bug. The first shout came 15 minutes in...."I'm not well" - he is now the opposite of what happened when he had his tummy bug and was fed up sitting in the smallest room with nobody to talk to. He is absolutely not ill, just dramatic.

LavenderBees

Well, I love the title of the book, Bex, so thanks for suggesting it, even just for that! :rotfl:

JKS, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by everything. I was going to suggest something more practical to try to help - a cleaner maybe a few hours a week. Sure that can't be hugely expensive, and might just take the weight of too much expectation off a bit. I'd think of what will free up most time, but more importantly what would be good to offload onto someone else??

Generally, the only support I have is paid for support, unfortunately, but it's better than no support at all, and the relief of handing something troublesome onto someone else is immense.

I'm beginning to wonder if thinking about a cleaner for myself isn't a bad idea...hmmmm....maybe will be taking my own advice when I have some money. To free up time to do pleasurable things would be lovely.

You are right RRP, the plaster dust keeps on appearing, but there is a limit to how often I will scrub my bloomin house. Sure it will disappear on its own?? :rotfl:

I must admit to feeling low today - probably been in the house too much, and I'm tired of trying to think positively about what I'm doing - fed up of doing stuff on my own, fed up of chores, fed up of weekends doing same old same old... just generally fed up....:rotfl:

I still have the living room and kitchen to do...the kitchen is the worst

Fancy a glass of wine, JKS to cheer us up... white or red....??

LB xx

P.S. I like you but I always have the sneaking suspicion you run yourself down. Try not to, there are plenty of people in life who will do that for you, no need to do it to you yourself. I need to talk to myself about this, too....see, we're all the same really.