OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

BookWorm

Thank you for all the kind words - it is much appreciated

3forholidays

BW Condolences on the loss of your relative.

Horace I'm so sorry to hear about the job. Remember and ask about a reference. You are not unemployable but employers do seem to take the easier option when employing people therefore tend to overlook people with disabilities etc as they require more support and guidance.

moneyistooshorttomention

Horace,

Sorry too to hear that your hoped for M *S job isn't going to happen. There was always the risk that they just saw you as a Christmas fill-in person and it looks like that is what happened in the event:mad:

Annoyed on your behalf, after all that getting-up early and other inconveniences you have put up with in the hope of "getting your name in there" for a proper job.

What can I say? except fingers crossed for better luck soon.

LavenderBees = you are very right (as we all know) about the amount of discrimination that we face (financially and otherwise) as singlies. There are now literally millions of us and you would think we would get a better deal by now. My teeth grind very hard every time I see that people who are in couples or families get a much cheaper rate per person for things than we do and I am certainly well aware personally that that "dreaded single supplement" is the reason I have missed out on the vast majority of holidays away over the years (ie I could afford the holiday - at normal rate of half what a couple would pay - but couldn't find the extra for that "single supplement"). Story of our lives in a lot of respects isn't it?....

Firms are starting to be well aware of the power of the "Grey £" in consumer terms. Governments are well aware of the voting power of the Baby Boomer generation (thankfully...speaking as one). But no-one (government or firms) seems to take into account Singlie Spending Power (admitted we have less money on average than someone who is coupled-up) but there are millions of us...so we do have a sizeable amount of Spending Power between us. We certainly have a lot of Voting Power between us too (take note that Government, ie that singlies are more than a little fed-up to the back teeth of being a cash cow for everyone else it seems).

We do get the "rough end of the stick" in many ways and personally I am very conscious that my "this stage of my life" house in my "home area of country" would be easily affordable as half of a couple. But, as a singlie, I had to make a choice between "this stage of my life" house OR "home area house" and couldn't have both. Thus = major disruption to life that I wouldn't have had if half of a couple.

Well....Government policies that "make us pay for others" are partly responsible for hard choices of various descriptions that some of us singlies have had to make. The Government will have to "bear the burden" then of any extra "care and attention" I could have paid to my elderly parents if I hadn't been forced to move away...and I shant feel the slightest bit concerned about effect on the Government having extra "on its plate" because of it. But I am obviously personally concerned that I would have preferred to be able to keep a personal close-by eye on said aged parents and didn't have the free choice about being able to do so in the circumstances (with starter house being such that I had no option but to sell it anyway...long story.....).

Do we need a political party just for us Singlies then by now? We could certainly do with a few campaigning journalists...

dND

Hi Horace,
It's taken me ages to understand my weight issues and realise that I was reacting to other peoples' comments. I've now found a regime that suits me and lets me eat more or less what I want and is not a 'diet' so I can't be accused of not following it. Weight loss is really slow, only a couple of Kgs a year but it's been going down for 3 years rather than going up and I am in a so much better place mentally

I've found some of the TED talks to be really helpful, like this one
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
May sound silly but I found it helpful

Good luck, and I'm sure there will be lots of support from here.

Horace

Thanks all. I have turned the negative fixed term job with MnS into a positive by applying for a longer term but still temporary job (but one with more prospects) at an upmarket supermarket closer to home. I need to get a bus to the village and a bus out again but the bus stops right outside the store plus the journey is not as arduous.

I don't know why I let my mother bully me. She has always been critical and I guess other than looking after dad she has no other interest in her life. I am about 3 stone over my ideal weight and I am determined this year to get over my food phobia. I want to be able to eat what I want without being moaned at.

Anyway it is way past lunchtime and I just fancy a bacon sandwich

greenbee

Have a look at this Horace. It may not be the cause of your mother's problem, but you can always suggest it is

My mother told me on Christmas Eve how thin I was looking. On Boxing Day she told me she thought I'd put on some weight over Christmas....

3forholidays

... My aims for 2015 are:

1. Drink more water - I suffer from bad skin so hopefully doing this should improve things. I'll aim for the recommended 6-8 glasses a day.

2. Wear more bright colours - LB has inspired me with this one.

3. Get out more - At the moment as a singlie, I'm not going to meet friends and have relationships sitting at home so I'll need to get out there and join in with something. The problem is that I would like to meet people my own age and being 30+ there doesn't appear to be a lot of groups out there for that age group. Ladies Circle could be a possibility and looking at the website there is a group locally that meets once a fortnight.

LavenderBees

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

LavenderBees = you are very right (as we all know) about the amount of discrimination that we face (financially and otherwise) as singlies. There are now literally millions of us and you would think we would get a better deal by now. My teeth grind very hard every time I see that people who are in couples or families get a much cheaper rate per person for things than we do and I am certainly well aware personally that that "dreaded single supplement" is the reason I have missed out on the vast majority of holidays away over the years (ie I could afford the holiday - at normal rate of half what a couple would pay - but couldn't find the extra for that "single supplement"). Story of our lives in a lot of respects isn't it?....

Firms are starting to be well aware of the power of the "Grey £" in consumer terms. Governments are well aware of the voting power of the Baby Boomer generation (thankfully...speaking as one). But no-one (government or firms) seems to take into account Singlie Spending Power (admitted we have less money on average than someone who is coupled-up) but there are millions of us...so we do have a sizeable amount of Spending Power between us. We certainly have a lot of Voting Power between us too (take note that Government, ie that singlies are more than a little fed-up to the back teeth of being a cash cow for everyone else it seems).

We do get the "rough end of the stick" in many ways and personally I am very conscious that my "this stage of my life" house in my "home area of country" would be easily affordable as half of a couple. But, as a singlie, I had to make a choice between "this stage of my life" house OR "home area house" and couldn't have both. Thus = major disruption to life that I wouldn't have had if half of a couple.

Well....Government policies that "make us pay for others" are partly responsible for hard choices of various descriptions that some of us singlies have had to make. The Government will have to "bear the burden" then of any extra "care and attention" I could have paid to my elderly parents if I hadn't been forced to move away...and I shant feel the slightest bit concerned about effect on the Government having extra "on its plate" because of it. But I am obviously personally concerned that I would have preferred to be able to keep a personal close-by eye on said aged parents and didn't have the free choice about being able to do so in the circumstances (with starter house being such that I had no option but to sell it anyway...long story.....).

Do we need a political party just for us Singlies then by now? We could certainly do with a few campaigning journalists...

We have one, don't we? Martin Lewis? :money:

I for one would love to hear his own views on this subject....now there's a good subject for his blog, though I haven't read it comprehensively by any means, so it may already be covered, and there may be loads of activity going on on behalf of us singlies (albeit activity so quiet that those of us impacted haven't heard anything )

I strongly suspect though we are stored in the "too difficult drawer", and genuinely no one has realised how strong we can be, if we set our minds to it or even how huge this market place of singlies is (more fool those so-called business managers and entrepreneurs who ignore us at their peril as the years go on and numbers multiply further).

So, imho, it is still down to us to shout more loudly about these discriminations/injustices, and vote with our feet, if necessary.

Regarding the B&B situation, I referred to that as it has stuck in my mind as being so wholly unfair. I stress it is in no way meant to point fingers at the singlie who raised the issue. However, I disagree that there was no action that could have been taken...a polite letter to the Tourist Board of that area citing concerns at the breaking of a contract/reasons why, an equally polite message on Tr!p Adv!sor, and then move on to other businesses more worthy of our custom and money...so an active list of B&Bs that welcome singlies.

Anyway, these are but the random thoughts of an over tired, concerned for our welfare, Singlie...no one has to agree with them. But if we don't stand up for ourselves, sure as h3ll no one else will

...Back to my money management book...

LB xx

LavenderBees

dND wrote: »

Hi Horace,
It's taken me ages to understand my weight issues and realise that I was reacting to other peoples' comments. I've now found a regime that suits me and lets me eat more or less what I want and is not a 'diet' so I can't be accused of not following it. Weight loss is really slow, only a couple of Kgs a year but it's been going down for 3 years rather than going up and I am in a so much better place mentally

I've found some of the TED talks to be really helpful, like this one
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
May sound silly but I found it helpful

Good luck, and I'm sure there will be lots of support from here.

I love these sort of TED talks - so inspirational and motivational, and as well, achievable. Thanks for the link :T

LB xx

Winter_Phoenix

Well, our "Singlies Campaign" seems to have started already, if this thread is now in the top ten! :rotfl:Bravo, LavenderBees, for starting the original thread and then continuing it in this one; and thank you, Southern-Girl, for drawing its top-ten position to everyone's attention .

Byatt, from what bits and pieces I know about fig trees (a friend has one), they are deciduous plants but in warmer climates don't always shed their leaves annually. However, they do still need occasional periods of leafless "dormancy" or the plant gets exhausted. So with a bit of luck your fig has tired itself out in the "warmer climate" of your house, is now having a winter sleep, and will wake up refreshed and ready to go in spring .

BookWorm, so sorry to read of your loss. It must be particularly hard when everyone else is celebrating a New Year, and you are mourning the passing of the old year and the loss of your relative.

Horace, I'm sad for you that your job seems to be coming to an end when you hoped it would continue. However, from what you have written over the last few weeks, they have messed you about over and over again in this short time. So perhaps this particular job is better on a CV than as an ongoing hassle? And Ellie99's suggestion for dealing with your mother seems to me to be the best advice you could get on the subject :T

Moneyistooshorttomention, you're so right in everything you say about the unfairness of life for singlies in so many ways. But there are compensations, too. It would sometimes be nice to have a partner to turn to for support or advice, rather than having to carry the whole burden alone. Yet I don't think I'd want to go back to the endless negotiations and compromises about which kitchen units/toothpaste/lawnmower to buy, whose job takes precedence when one of you is sent to work on the other side of the country, what colour to paint the bedroom, who does (or doesn't do) which bits of housework, and where (or if) we should go on holiday. IMO freedom to choose is such a great gift, even when limited finances severely curtail that choice.

And it's true that some great people seem to be having a break from posting here (maybe some of them aren't single at the moment???), but hey, look at the great people who are still here, and at the great people who have joined in! We're blessed!

(Just read what I've written above, and apologies if it's all a bit Pollyanna-ish, but 2015 is a New Year, full of promise and hope and anticipation, and I really want to start it in a positive frame of mind :j)