OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

Which just goes to show there are indeed a lot of us around and we do have a different take on finances to those who are coupled-up (if, basically, revolving around the fact we have a lower income coming into the household usually). But there are other aspects to being a singlie as well.

Recognition for us all at last:T

Yay to Lavender Bees for starting this thread off:T

boddy

Just popping in to wish you all a Happy New Year. Hope it is all you wish for. Really should post more but I do enjoy keeping up with you all.

LavenderBees

Well, how fantastic to be in the top 10 of the threads!!! :beer:. Not sure where the stats come from, but I don't honestly care this morning. :beer:

Hello all the Lurkers! :j

I would never have dreamt that we'd do so well. I just always felt that a forum so geared up to those coupled up was more than a tad out of kilter with the real world. There are millions of single people out there, and the number is growing all the time, yet we're sadly overlooked both for our emotional, social, financial needs and also very much as a consumer.

If I had a bit of oomph, I'd set up my own singlie website, attract loads of advertising directed at the HUGE singlie market (take note businesses), and retire next year :j

But something important to me springs to mind - why aren't more people posting/sharing singlie issues/helping resolve singlie issues?

As individuals, we pack very little power, but as a collective voice, MY WORD, businesses would have to sit up and take notice. If you just take the issue posted a few weeks ago about the B&B rejecting a booking by a singlie - we were all outraged, but we actually all just "took it", too, just accepted it really. Why was that, I wonder?

Personally, I think it's that we are all so used to acting alone, so used to being invisible, so used to just staggering from one knackered day to another, sorting out all our individual problems all by ourselves that we forget we have a loud voice, too (or are just too knackered to use it!)

My worry (for want of a better word) about this thread is threefold -

That it relies on only a few active posters, so can appear to be cliquey, when I really want it to be all inclusive;

We perhaps are not as hot on helping each other by trying to resolve issues (big issues that affect all singlies, e.g. I mean things like discrimination; being made to feel small for living alone or having no significant other - we are all very supportive of the individual personal issues we all face);

And thirdly, somehow along the way, we have lost some very motivational people who were involved in the "Singularly Lonely Christmas thread" that I started with such a heavy heart, and was transformed by the kindness, thoughtfulness and motivational posts of so many people.

Maybe I'm being a bit selfish here? very probably :rotfl: - after all, this thread isn't for me, per se, it's for all of us, and it is whatever we all make it be. But my heartfelt hope for 2015, is that we continue to support each other in our individual trials and tribulations of every day life, but that we also grow - both in size of contributors and in what we discuss/tackle together as a significant voice of overlooked and often discriminated against group of intelligent consumers.

Ah, bless you all, contributors and lurkers alike :T. I had a really dreadful night's sleep last night - emotions of loss were very heightened as always on these key days, and I also am trying so hard to understand and tackle (more advanced to me) money management decisions, so my poor over tired brain was swamped, and I got up this morning feeling like a wet dishcloth had been slapped across my face :rotfl:

But you all have just suddenly made my 2014 something to be proud of, certainly more so than it appeared to be last night. I hope each of you, Contributors and Lurkers alike, have taken something good from our wee thread, and it has helped you feel part of a community, perhaps more of a community than we will ever really manage to feel in real life.

I thank you all :T. Let's make 2015 an even greater one.

Happy New Year to you all :beer:

LB xx

3forholidays

Happy New Year everyone. Best wishes for a healthy, happy & prosperous 2015!

First things first... I need to think about some New Years resolutions... :think: I'll be back...

BookWorm

Happy New Year everyone! :beer:

*brief interlude*
Some of you may recall I posted about a relative a few weeks ago that received some bad news health wise. I'm sorry say that they passed away last night So I have very mixed emotions today.
*sorry for the downer*


I've been enjoying reading about everyone's thoughts on this year and hopes/intentions for next year. I will add my own when I can get my thoughts back in order.

:T for the thread being mentioned in the top 10. I know that I am very grateful it's here and I look forward to sharing the coming year with you all

BW
xx

BookWorm

LB - what a lovely post (although sorry to hear you didn't sleep well and I hope you have a lovely chilled day to make up for it)

I agree that it's a shame that we have 'lost' some of the people who posted along the way since this thread started. I accept there may be a whole host of reasons for this. However, I hope that anyone/everyone who may read this thread feels like they can join in should they want to.

That isn't to say that lurkers are not welcome either - as I'm sure they may be some who have found support even without us knowing (I like to think so)

BW

ellie99

In the top 10 of all threads, who'd have thought it?

LavenderBees wrote: »

But something important to me springs to mind - why aren't more people posting/sharing singlie issues/helping resolve singlie issues?

This concerns me too, and having it pointed out this morning just how many people are reading this thread, well tbh it makes me feel a bit weird about posting stuff about my life, knowing so many people are reading it but not replying or joining in. But that's the internet, I guess.

Re the B&B refusing a booking...yes, we all just "took it", but for the life of me I can't see what else was possible...it was an un-named B&B in an un-named area. My own experience of being refused a table was several years ago, and I'm definitely more confident now and much more likely to take it further.

Anywaaays...
lots of resolute thoughts on here the last few days, even if we're not calling them new years resolutions. I'm undecided as yet what mine should be. I've thought about how 2014 went, and really, it wasn't too bad..I realised that I spent a fair part of it stressed and worried, but it was all to do with other family members and their problems. DS2 had/has several major problems which he needed support with, and elderly parents/aunt had health problems.

Although hopefully DS2s life will get better, I foresee the beginning of a downward spiral for the oldies. I feel stuck between supporting children and supporting parents, and thinking there's no-one willing to support me! I wonder just when will it be time for me to do exactly what I want? A very common complaint I imagine. If I was totally alone I would do things differently, I would move to a different part of the country, but it's not possible just now. I know by the time no-one needs me, I'll be too old to do what I want.

So 2015...I'll accept what needs to be done, and learn to do it without getting stressed
I'll take weekend trips to my coveted part of the country and enjoy it that way
I'll accept any extra work which is offered.

I'll consider more resolutions as we get into January...I'd like something different to the usual "lose weight, get rid of clutter" type of thing but not sure what yet. Did consider learning a new language, but fairly sure I wouldn't put the effort in.

Will have to visit parents this afternoon...they don't "do" christmas or new year, but may take the huff if I don't visit anyway :rotfl:

Apart from that I plan to be super-lazy...it's like normal lazy but I'll be wearing a cape

Horace

Wowsers - in the top 10, well done LB.

Please accept my sincere condolences BW and I wish you a Happy New Year.

Feeling a little despondent today because I read my emails yesterday and discovered that I no longer have a job with MnS which confuses me greatly because I am down to work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday. I shall turn up for my shift as normal and find my manager and speak to her - if necessary I will clear my locker of my shoes and return my key etc. Spoke to mum just now as she rang to wish me a Happy New Year and when I told her about my job she told me to think on because it is obvious I am too fat (and therefore unemployable) and I need to do something about my weight. I told her that I am fatter than I want to be because I don't eat and how with her nagging I have issues around food:mad::( Hopefully this disinterest in food will be resolved with help from my GP. Anyway, onwards & upwards.

I think that LB is right, us singlies don't shout from the rooftops about how we are sidelined by businesses because we are so used to muddling through and putting up with such injustices. Maybe it is time we developed a voice and instead of putting up and shutting up, that we are more vocal.

Happy New Year - one and all.:beer:

ellie99

Horace, obviously I've no idea how you get on with your mother and what you think of what she is saying...
but if you want to deal with food issues can I suggest you decide what YOU want to do, and how you'll do it, and don't involve your DM. If she starts saying things you don't agree with just say something like "I'm dealing with it in my own way, I don't want to discuss it", and then change the subject, and do this every time it happens.

Perhaps 2015 can be the year you get this sorted out. Sorry to hear the job isn't going to last, I suppose a lot of the new staff will be let go after the xmas rush. Fingers crossed something better comes along.

Bookworm, so sorry to read about your relative, how sad.

Byatt

Happy New Year Singlies, nothing to add to all the excellent posts about being in the top ten. Congratulations to everyone.

Hugs Bookworm, I am truly sorry to hear your news. X

Horace, I think its very likely you haven't been kept on because truthfully the holiday season is over and they no longer need the extra staff. This happens a lot, but they are not going to say, well we are not keeping you for any longer than we have to, but instead offer carrots of incentive for you to work your butt off and not walk. I'm sorry because it must be gutting. However, add it to your CV and be positive about it. Onwards and upwards.

Winter Phoenix, my fig tree is really a fig plant, I hope it will recover as all the leaves have died. Lovely to see you again. X