OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

calicocat

BookWorm wrote: »

Thanks LB and MITSM for your input.

I'm liking the idea of a bottle of bubbly if I don't go :T

I'm not sure that the option of other things to do would really work though. I get the impression that if you go you will be expected/required to take part in all of the activities, etc. Think that's another reason for my hesitancy. I quite like my own space (I am a singlie after all!) and I think the thought of being with a large group of mostly strangers for 48 hours a bit :eek:

I probably should have explained the person in question is probably as close as I have to a friend at work. We have gone out for the odd night before and do have various lunches out during work time.
However, I still probably wouldn't class them fully as a friend - hence the quandry. Hope that doesn't sound harsh as it's not meant to

Thanks for the replies. Food for thought definitely.

Happy for any other views, etc if people want to comment.

Is the weekend miles away?...and how is everyone getting to the venue??

If it is not too far away, and travelling on your own wouldn't increase the costs, how about if you want to try different things that you go for one night rather than the two if that is possible.?

That way you get the new experience of these new people but are not stuck there for too long if it just isn't your thing.

Your work colleague has invited you i'm assuming she considers you a friend....not that that means you have to do something you don't want to, just that it may well be you do have things in common other than work and could mean a deeper friendship in the longer term.

I think you may well be quite a bit younger than some of us here??......so we might all be a bit jaded on the socialising front....not meaning to offend anyone here.....lol.

MTSTM is correct though about the spends....and that's before they may decide what you have to go out and buy to wear....so it will be a costly event, these things always are.


Good luck deciding.

I hear the pizza yesterday was lovely......Yumm

BookWorm

Hi Horace - welcome to the thread

Byatt - the details are yet to be decided. I suspect there may well be a theme but that will follow once a yes or a no has been given re: attendance. Same for the actual hotel and activities - yet to be decided. The only thing I know is location (Bristol) and date/duration of trip.

Calico - As per above it's in Bristol so is a couple of hours drive from where I am. People are making their own way so some will drive and others will take the train. As I don't know really anyone else - would imagine I would drive if I went. I'm mid 30's-late 30's...dunno what that means in terms of socialising expectations lol

calicocat

Lol......no social 'expectations'.....lol. However some of us on here are at an older age and more of the 'oh I just can't be bothered' syndrome. Plus, some of will have already done lots, so easy to say not to bother as we get older.

Hope that's coming out the way it's intended...??.....lol.

Just woken up so missed the Bristol bit. Bristol is nice, and quite a good place to go out. Also has some lovely shops, not that I imagine shops are on the agenda...it can very much be 'party zone' though at night. If you are driving then 1 night would be doable if you wanted to.

I guess it's whether the experience is worth the money to you.

BookWorm

No problem Understood as intended

Byatt

I have to ask BW, why Bristol?

It's about an hour up the road from me

BookWorm

That's where the hen has decided to go - not sure why she picked it

Horace

Thanks for the welcome.

Despite neighbour popping round, I haven't done any of the housework (I feel asleep on the sofa) nor have I cooked any dinner or done the baking I promised myself that I would do. She was rude to point out that I hadn't done any housework and to give me a lecture. I am having a 'can't be bothered' day.

Bristol is the centre for all things hen and stag although it is isn't somewhere I would consider for that sort of thing. I have nothing against Bristol - I am sure that is nice in parts. Am 53 this year (so not old) but I have never been one for hen nights - I didn't even bother with one when I got married myself (now divorced...hurrah). I would go if you were bosom buddies but you are just work colleagues so probably wouldn't.

LavenderBees

calicocat wrote: »

Lol......no social 'expectations'.....lol. However some of us on here are at an older age and more of the 'oh I just can't be bothered' syndrome. Plus, some of will have already done lots, so easy to say not to bother as we get older.

If you are driving then 1 night would be doable if you wanted to.

I guess it's whether the experience is worth the money to you.

I agree, Calico, that's how I view any invite these days - is the experience worth the money, but also MUCH more, is it worth my time?

BUT my own advice wasn't based on the been there done that /just cba syndrome (it certainly would be if it was an invite for me :rotfl:), but for BW, I was mainly thinking of how the experience could be for her. Frankly, sometimes these dos are pergatory for the less gregarious/less outgoing/less confident. They can force the attendees into uncomfortable situations, and, can be very cliquey, if you are on the peripherary of in jokes etc, so you can feel very lonely within the social group (I speak from experience here) and quite honestly, would you want to PAY so much for that?

But that's the downside. the upside is that it appears the Hen has invited BW because she considers her a friend. How do I deduce that? Simply because BW will only know one other person so the Hen can't have invited many work colleagues. So, imho, BW needs to think carefully about how that impacts on her decision - does BW consider this lady enough of a friend to step outside her comfort zone? If she decides not to go, then let the Hen down gently with a wee pressie and good wishes for a lovely time. If the Hen is indeed a friend, then she will understand.

I do, however, think that Calico's suggestion of a compromise one night is a good one - shows willing/may even enjoy it/but the end is always in sight. :rotfl:

Gawd, I still have a huge pile of ironing to do before bed, so I'd better get on. Doncha just love that horrible Sunday night feeling before work claims us again?

Have a good week, All!

LB xx

BookWorm

My workplace is quite male dominated (old and not very interesting ones though!) so I think that is a contributing factor to not many being invited. On the flipside of that I guess it could be that the invite was because they felt obliged to as there as not as many women? :think:

Thanks LB - all valid points which I will consider further.

I also agree that Sunday nights come round far too quickly!

Byatt

BW, I don't think she's invited you to make up the numbers or because she felt obliged. She must want you there, because the hen night imho, is a time when she would want her friends around her. It may surprise you and be a lovely time, even though I understand your reluctance...it's also a long time to go, and I can usually change my mind a dozen times in that space of time, whereas if it was a couple of weeks or so, even a month, I can gauge (sp) how I would maybe feel.

Could you get together before then and meet some of her other friends for coffee/drink? Is she having her mother/future mil there, will it be mixed ages?