OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

mothernerd

I think the third attack on pensions is the plan to 'increase' state pension to a flat rate (with the suggestion being that less people will then need to claim the additional pensions credit). I currently have 33 years of contributions towards getting a full state pension (need 30). The new plan, if introduced, would require 35 years of contributions so I would need to find or 'make voluntary contributions' to re-entitle myself to something I have already qualified for - is this a bit like making you apply for your own job (with no guarantee you will get it). Currently I have a national insurance exemption certificate due to very low earnings from self-employment and not sure there is any way I could get back into 'a normal job' given that I only started doing this to carry on working after my brother died - as long as I did my hours I could work round the days I needed to hide under the bedclothes. Diabetes diagnosis (2012) and severe arthritis in right hip (2 weeks ago) have imposed further restrictions. Still not worked out how to do a 'full shop' and 10 years (9 years 5 months and 5 days) to go till retirement.

Don't get me started on Universal credit - I think the whole thing is a scam to take away whatever pittance you have managed to scrape together over years of work, should you be unfortunate enough to get sick, have an accident or take on the role of caring for someone else.

So to be positive - today I am grateful for free food (mum gave me 2 peaches, 2 kiwi, some tomatoes and most of 2 opened tins of mixed beans), hot baths (not strictly allowed but nearly as good as chocolate) and the internet where we can meet like minds and let off steam - wonder if we are the 'older' equivalent to those reducing teenage pregnancies (they are too busy talking to their friends on the internet they don't have time to go out, meet people and have sex). Think of all those Victorian women poisoning their way through inconvenient family members.

MummyBobble

Well that was a long day, but belatedly back with something positive :beer: Finally home from the airport (scenic route back, took a wrong turn. Sense of direction has never been a strong point, and anyway it looks different in the dark! ). Flight landed pretty much on time but guess whose case was just about the last one off? Watched everyone else coming through it then had a bit of an airport Love Actually moment when DD finally came through (I had reached the "she's lost her passport, been arrested, pulled into customs for searching stage, so it was a tiny bit emotional when I got my girl back). DD and DS are now tucked up in bed and I think I need to head to mine. DD had a fabulous time and made some lovely new friends. Very proud of her traveling on her own, luckily the seats I had booked for both flights turned out to be with kind people. So happy to have her home, we've missed her, and thank you DS was brilliant for putting up with being stuck in the airport waiting for her at gone two in the morning.

Not sure if I should be saying goodnight or good morning :rotfl:

BookWorm

MummyBobble wrote: »

I din't know you were supposed to clean cars, I like to think of the dirt as an extra coating protecting the paintwork from the environment

:rotfl:ha ha this is the perfect excuse for not cleaning mine. Far too much like hard work and isn't that what car washes are for?

mum2one

Mummy bubble - glad dd home safe and sounds like she had a fab time. It must be catching the scenic route missed turn off yesterday em route home and instead of bypassing Chester ended up right through it made worse as it was race day and we ended right by the racecourse.

Re technology
Mobile phone - I'd be lost without mine although the only thing I hate is the sale calls for me this has been worth it's weight in gold, hard to imagine never not having one I've had phones for about 22years my first one was like a brick no LCD display and to keep it running I had to use 4 x Aa batteries. How times change, dd is the generation that phones are a natural item and to explain they use to be a luxury and pay and go never existed originally she finds hard to believe.

Internet -
I could not do without this now even a day without it I feel like my arms been cut off. It is my lifeline, both good bad and addictive, it might sound daft but being disabled and at home most of the time it's a link to the outside world.

Say-nav
I got my 1st about 8 yrs ago I can map read but for me the tipping point was when we'd been to Devon over a new yr coming back there had been an accident on m-way so what should have been a 5hr journey with 2stops turned into a 10hr journey and ended up going up over Severn bridge and back roads in wales and my trying to read the map by Mobile phone screen light as the interior light didn't work on the car, since then it's saved me quite a few times, even if once I nearly ended up in a field

I think with children it's the life we lead I'm early 40s but as a child I had freedom we can't give the children the same allowances due to society so there brought up on technology there's time I have to ask dd how to do stuff on my phone etc but where we would have a game of clinkers or go for a bike ride to them that's almost unheard of

Some gd news - they've moved dad to a normal ward there hoping he. Will start eating tomorrow and if that goes ok the next step will be bring him to our local hospital so fingers crossed we won't know the other news for another couple of weeks he's having to fight to recover from burst bowel and the effects of that as well as fight the nasty disease the big c xx

BookWorm

Mum2one - glad to hear you have had some good news re: your Dad. Continuing to send positive thoughts your way


Ok everyone. I have a dilemma and wanted to share to see if you can help. I've been invited to a work colleagues hen weekend which is due to take place May next year. It will be travelling on the Friday and then staying over Fri/Sat nights in a hotel and travelling back on the Sunday.

I'm hesitant for several reasons - Money is the obvious one. The hotel alone is likely to be £150 for the 2 nights and then there will be evening meals & drinks (they like to drink!) on top, as well as activities of some kind during the Sat daytime.

I'm don't particularly enjoy big boozy nights out in groups anymore. Used to when I was younger but my confidence for that kind of thing has definitely waned.

I'm quite a casual sort of person and getting dolled up the nines isn't my idea of fun. I'm much happier in flats or better still trainers!

I will only know 1 other person aside from the hen and I'm nervous that I will feel either left out or just plain lonely.

I'm sure you may be thinking by now well you seem to have your answer. However, in the spirit of trying new things this year and doing things outside of my comfort zone, I am wondering whether I should just suck it up and take the plunge?!

Any any advice, comments, suggestions would be welcome

LavenderBees

BookWorm wrote: »

Mum2one - glad to hear you have had some good news re: your Dad. Continuing to send positive thoughts your way


Ok everyone. I have a dilemma and wanted to share to see if you can help. I've been invited to a work colleagues hen weekend which is due to take place May next year. It will be travelling on the Friday and then staying over Fri/Sat nights in a hotel and travelling back on the Sunday.

I'm hesitant for several reasons - Money is the obvious one. The hotel alone is likely to be £150 for the 2 nights and then there will be evening meals & drinks (they like to drink!) on top, as well as activities of some kind during the Sat daytime.

I'm don't particularly enjoy big boozy nights out in groups anymore. Used to when I was younger but my confidence for that kind of thing has definitely waned.

I'm quite a casual sort of person and getting dolled up the nines isn't my idea of fun. I'm much happier in flats or better still trainers!

I will only know 1 other person aside from the hen and I'm nervous that I will feel either left out or just plain lonely.

I'm sure you may be thinking by now well you seem to have your answer. However, in the spirit of trying new things this year and doing things outside of my comfort zone, I am wondering whether I should just suck it up and take the plunge?!

Any any advice, comments, suggestions would be welcome

Hiya :j

I think you do have your answer - imho, if you want to try new things, try things you think you will enjoy. To spend £150+ and all those hours and potentially be miserable, isnt good. It could just put you off trying new things.

I'm personally completely at a loss why these sorts of things - hen parties/40th parties etc - have all become such mega events that take up so much effort and money. It's all so "drama queen" and "look at me/my fantastic life". My heart sinks when I get these invites. It seems a nice meal out is just not good enough any more. I doubt I'm the only one who immediately casts around for [STRIKE]excuses[/STRIKE] reasons not to be able to go.

Maybe I'm just old and jaded :rotfl:. But as I get older and treasure my time more and more, the more I rebel against doing things I don't want to.

If it were me, I'd be tempted to buy a bottle of champagne at Xmas time in the sales, give it to her to help her weekend along, but spend the money you save and that weekend doing something you KNOW you WILL enjoy.

But if you do decide to go (and don't let me put you off! :rotfl:), just make sure there are things to do at the hotel if you find yourself on your own e.g. swimming pool/sauna, nice conservatory to relax and read a book in, nice grounds to walk in etc so you come home feeling like you've had a break regardless of what the others in the group have done.

Hi to everyone else

Chores are a-calling, just taking a break with a cuppa. Is there anything lovelier than a cuppa when you're thirsty (and want to avoid chores :rotfl:)

LB xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Re that hen weekend, I'd also not go. They're only a work colleague and not a friend after all.

I would be concerned at the thought of spending over £150 on a hen weekend with a friend, but for a work colleague no way. I'd say you'd be lucky to see change from £300 (and that doesn't include any new clothes you bought for it). I wouldn't mind betting presents and/or treating the "hen" also cropped up. Learn one lesson from my experience there on that one and that is that some people will come up with lots of excuses why work colleagues should give them presents for "personal" things (eg getting married/having children/etc) and conveniently forget just how much they "owe" back towards you when you have a work occasion that merits a present (eg retirement).

Just give her a nice card wishing her well for a fun weekend and leave it at that. At that sort of cost level it's fair enough to say that the reason is because you can't afford it and don't let anyone try and persuade you with "Aw go on...you only live once...its not that much" type comments.

I believe in trying new things, but you have to operate within the limits of your income and I don't think a hen weekend away counts particularly towards that idea anyway.

BookWorm

Thanks LB and MITSM for your input.

I'm liking the idea of a bottle of bubbly if I don't go :T

I'm not sure that the option of other things to do would really work though. I get the impression that if you go you will be expected/required to take part in all of the activities, etc. Think that's another reason for my hesitancy. I quite like my own space (I am a singlie after all!) and I think the thought of being with a large group of mostly strangers for 48 hours a bit :eek:

I probably should have explained the person in question is probably as close as I have to a friend at work. We have gone out for the odd night before and do have various lunches out during work time.
However, I still probably wouldn't class them fully as a friend - hence the quandry. Hope that doesn't sound harsh as it's not meant to

Thanks for the replies. Food for thought definitely.

Happy for any other views, etc if people want to comment.

Horace

At last a thread for singlies - I am one and enjoying the single life such that it can be when on the dole.

I did my good deed for the day and donated 2 hours of my time to the local park and cleared some Himalayan balsam (I found two trees that I did not know existed hidden behind all this stuff). One of the rangers gave me a lift home and we stopped to open the gate, and spotted a tree. I thought the tree had bright red plums on it but it would appear that it is some kind of apple tree with red skinned fruits and the flesh is red too, although not ready yet. Now I know where the tree is, I will keep visiting it and then when the apples are ripe will get some free food.

My neighbour has just been round and nagged at me for not doing my housework (am depressed) and she told me off for not eating so just had to show her what I have for dinner tonight.

To the person who has been invited to the hen do, not saying don't go but don't go for the sake of going if you enjoy your alone time. I would be inclined to buy a bottle of something and save for a holiday that you will enjoy doing something that you do like.

Byatt

BW, is there a theme to the hotel hen party? Why are they going to a hotel (just so they can drink, or is there as LB suggested sauna/pool/etc) and what are the activities planned for the saturday? I'd need to know that before I committed one way or the other to accepting. What's the hotel like and where? City/rural retreat?

Hi Horace!