OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

skogar

Enjoyed reading all the cat related antics. Love the photo of mini puss on curtain pole.

Sending hugs to Byatt.

CRANKY40

Now I've joined in commenting on Byatt's post, I may as well carry on. There is just me and my 9 year old son, 2 cats and an unknown quantity of tropical fish as they keep breeding and they won't keep still so that I can count them.

We've just downsized from a five storey Victorian house left to me when my husband died to a normal three bedroomed, one flight of stairs, ex council house on the edge of an estate close to where I grew up. I can clean this whole house in less than a week which wasn't possible with the old one :rotfl:

RPP I only used the back of the neck flea treatment once on ours. Sarah the Borat (Burmese/Korat cross - an accident due to the gas man leaving the wrong door open at my friend's house) has 360 degree reach apparently and had to have her mouth rinsed. Now she has a flea collar.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Goodness I don't know where yesterday went - I came on here with good intentions to catch up & it all went a bit pear shaped
:rotfl:

calicocat wrote: »

My friend has a 'vile-child'....well that is one of her many names, but generally the one that has stuck throughout the various stages.

She is 16 now, and a nightmare, her mum is a singlie too, and it IS ruddy hard. I have spent many an hour talking , laughing, crying, plotting, discussing how to make voodoo dolls and pinch some of her hair.........you name it....we have talked through the scenario. It eventually got to the stage where I became a bit of the good cop/bad cop all in one on a few occasions as my friend was just destroyed with it at one point and she needed someone to step in and help/ take over and refuse to accept/allow her to behave like that.

You have my sympathy.....and i'm not even a parent but can see how hard it is and just don't know how you guys do it at times...but I guess it doesn't happen over night....you grow with it.

One of the many mantras I had for her was...............wait for it...............and it isn't particularly nice but you might find it helpful or funny (my friend works in psychiatry too so we are both warped)..... ....... ... "my child is spawn of Satan. I shall not give in. My child is spawn of Satan, I shall not give in.......my child is spawn of Satan, I shall not give in...."

You keep saying this until you are on the floor laughing, or too tired so give a fig anymore.



Her daughter at one point decided 'daddy' was suddenly the better option......that lasted weeks.



Also.....sometimes, when you are a parent, it's difficult if not impossible to take that 'head' off....and put the teenager one on. As a non-parent, I was often saying to my friend....."yep but how were you at this age"...or.."thats normal, that memory must have gone at the same time as the placenta"....etc.

She is most certainly Vile however at the moment, no denying that, but I think when things get so tough, it's easy to just bundle all the hard to deal with behaviour together, and difficult to separate the bits that are not acceptable/OTT...and which bits are actually just normal and will hopefully go in time.

You will get there in the end, one way or another, it is hard slog though....so feel free to rant away on here about it to let off steam.

Thanks for the words of encouragement Calicocat (& others) - they are much appreciated. You are correct in that it is almost impossible to take off my Mummy head (although I'm going to have a darn good try as I've no children for almost 2 weeks while they're on their annual holiday with their Dad & seeing his side of the family :j Freedom). I do try hard to remember what I was like as a teen, but I didn't have the happiest or normal upbringing (whatever normal is) so I think I've blocked out quite a lot of it as a protective mechanism. I don't remember being especially vile though, & I'd certainly have been belted around the head by my mother if I'd said half of what my DD says to me. Not the answer though....

I have to remind myself that most other adults thinks she is doing alright (helping with youth group etc.) & as she knows how to behave with others, I can hope that one day she'll be lovely to me too.

Calicocat - fancy having for a while so you can do your bad cop routine? I think I'll be saying that mantra a lot too.

Winter_Phoenix wrote: »

I'm not recommending it, you understand, but what cured my DD at that age was when we were burgled.

By the time the police, and then the fingerprint people, and then the crime prevention people, and then the window-lock-fitting people, had all tramped through the house (and either commented in shocked tones on the state of her bedroom or done the stifled-gasp-raised-eyebrows-pursed-mouth silence as they clambered through the unwashed clothes, spilt make up, dirty cutlery and crockery, plates of half-eaten food going mouldy, broken bits of plastic, old chocolate wrappers, etc.), she was ready to clear and clean the room. She did try saying that it must have been the burglars who had left the mess, but it was a bit odd that the rest of the house was still clean and tidy.

Oh WP that is hilarious on one level (not the bit about the actual burglary - that is horrendous). I did read out your post to my DD, saying another lady had posted about her DD's messy habits :whistle: & her comment was "See, I'm not that bad". Then we went up to sort out packing for her trip to Dads & she could see that actually, it was quite close to your post, just less food detritus as I don't allow food upstairs..... Maybe she'll have an epiphany :rotfl:

I also love the "Not my circus, not my monkeys" quote & shall be using it regularly :T

MummyBobble wrote: »

Lots of posts to catch up on!

Later this morning DD and DS go away with their dad for a week so I might manage to find some time for me (and have a sneaky clear out of their rooms while they're not here to decide "You can't get rid of that, I need it" " I don't really like them going away (house too quiet, and I get to do the washing and ironing, pack the suitcase, unpack the suitcase and do more washing and ironing when they get back but I don't go anywhere - something fundamentally wrong here!) but it will give me some catch up time and then we'll have the rest of the summer holidays when they get back.

That is where a lot of my yesterday went - after the trauma of packing & explaining to DS why he needs more than 1 pair of pants for a week away, I waved them off for my 2 week sabbatical :j. Then I did some cleaning , that really long overdue, deep cleaning type of cleaning that is exhausting. They did have a bit of a tidy up, & I've done some of the extras that hopefully they wont notice (old clothes culling etc.), then cleaned kitchen, bathroom etc thoroughly - so nice to be able to clean a room & know it won't be trashed by tomorrow!

Mummybobble - you should think about getting away for a night or two if you can. I'm thinking about going away somewhere (GB not abroad) now I have some free time - depends on funds

Time for a cup of tea, some toast and a final check on the suitcase before I drag them out of their pits (my pit actually, they both insisted on sleeping in my bed with me last night. Even with a king sized bed there's not a lot of room for me and two teenagers! :rotfl:).

This is why I bought my lovely, single day bed - I get it all to myself every night.

Hope the sun is still shining wherever you are. Back later.

Byatt - so sorry to hear that your DD's life is having such a horrible impact on you, & I agree with what Cranky40 has posted. I hope the change of scenery & the ragdoll cat are helping you to relax. Not a lot else I can say really, sorry, but try to be kind to yourself & get some rest - you are quite right about rest being important. Now I'm off work & have had some proper rest, I do feel better able to cope with life. Having some child-free time is just the icing on the cake (I must sound awful, & want to reassure everyone that I do love my 2 :rotfl:)

wouldbeqaulitymoneysaver

I'm single just needing to do it my way.

moneyistooshorttomention

Hope we're not all keeling over with the heat still.

Bang goes any plans for a walk I was thinking about taking myself on this afternoon, courtesy of a builder is proposing to come round about some Stage 2 work to be done on my house. Well, I'm in a "gotta be making some sorta progress" type mood...so builder it is...rather than walk then..

My plans for coming week are thoroughly upset anyway, as a friend was going to come and stay for a holiday break and has let me down (courtesy of unforeseen by them events). Errrm...this is where "meticulous planner" (ie me) has arrangement with someone who....errrm...doesn't plan or could have foreseen this.:cool:. So, the arrangement will happen, but not when I expected it and have made my plans accordingly.

So, I've got 3 arrangements I have to change because of this and a whole lot of fruit to eat up before it goes off on me (the extra foodshopping I had already done...). Think I'd better chop some of it and stash in freezer, or I'd be annoyed about wasted money as well...

One of my "Why on earth cant everyone else also be meticulous planner types?" moments and has to remind myself that us MT's often are "the early bird that catches the worm" before "take it as it comers" have seen there was a worm to catch in the first place. Should be grateful there aren't many MT's around.....should be grateful....I'll convince myself yet that the advantages (getting in there first) outweigh the disadvantages (getting downright annoyed that others mess up our arrangements at regular intervals, when we rarely do that ourselves)....

As you were...head of steam tailing off gradually here...

BookWorm

MITSTM - your builder must be keen...those I know wouldn't visit on a Sunday. Is this one you have used before or a new contact?

I find it annoying too when it seems that some people also constantly let me down over plans etc....however, I am also learning (slowly - def still a work in progress) that getting cross about it only upsets me.

moneyistooshorttomention

It's a new contact builder. This counts as keen by standards of my home area. By standards of this area (ie where these "fings aint done the way I am used to") its positively superkeen.

But he checks out as reputable builder and inspected work etc etc and seems to have grasped what way I look at things. Fingers crossed eh....Maybe he's heard I'm a very prompt payer....?

As you say, it doesn't help to get cross when there are let-downs by people. Am now trying to tell myself "Maybe there is a reason I cant see as to why it will turn out to suit me better to have them come at that bit later date, eg something crops up whilst they are here that would have cropped up after they had gone back" iyswim and the timing will turn out, in the event, to have suited me better (you know the reasoning "The thank goodness I didn't catch that particular plane because...." reasoning). Maybe...just maybe....there is a "help me out" reason here, though I don't know it...and I'm being "looked after". Well you have to think positive about these things and hope that it isn't just a case of "I've been let down and it hasn't helped at all to be...".


Anyway...off to chop up one huge watermelon and cram it into my freezer, so it doesn't go to waste...now I've seen my builder and made my arrangements with him.

LavenderBees

Yes, that would irritate me, too. Having said that, I broke an arrangement with a friend last weekend...but we met up for lunch yesterday which suited us both better, so it worked out just fine.

Have had a good weekend - is feeling a little fresher here today, which is a huge relief as I've been sleeping very badly, as have the cats...last night we were all up and about at 2am, as they all decided they were STARVING...they had hardly eaten for a couple of days, because of the heat, so yes, I'm not surprised they were STARVING! 3 cats sitting on me....I couldn't really ignore them, though I did try :rotfl:

Have been at lottie most of today, digging up onions, shallots, garlic etc. As it was so quiet down there today, I let the girls out of their run. They were so well behaved. They loved their time free ranging! Stayed on my lottie, followed me around to see what I was digging up, helped weed....proper little gardeners and great company :rotfl:. It was great fun, and at the end, they all pottered back into their run, filthy but very happy chooks . They aren't supposed to be out, but I took a chance they'd be good. I didn't realise that my lottie neighbour (who is in charge of the lotties) was standing watching for a while, but he was very impressed with them, thought they were great and left us to it. :T

So, I have lots of filthy veges to clean now, the only downside of growing your own, I find. It can take hours, so I guess I'd better make a start.

LB xx

JustKeepSwimming_2

BookWorm wrote: »

*slinks in quietly*

Morning all - sorry for being MIA

I've been feeling a bit down and disillusioned with my current situation so have kept a low profile in both real and cyber life. One positive about being offline though is that I've managed to enjoy some of the lovely summer weather...makes a nice change and I'm hoping it's going to last a while yet

Lots to catch up on I see...hope everyone doing ok.

Hugs BW

Hope things are improving BW & congrats on the lottery win - hope you didn't squander it all at once :rotfl:

I find I do get a lot more done if I don't come on here for a while, but as I don't have much of a soc ail life without kids, I probably indulge myself on t'internet too much.

LB - I'm hoping o get a better night's sleep tonight too, I've been a bit restless in this heat. Also think that as I'm not getting knackered by work, that is affecting my sleep too. Will be doing a lot more walking this week, as need to get swimsuit ready for my hols next month :rotfl:. Obviously it'll take me a lot more than walking to get ready, but at least I'll feel like I've made an effort....

MSTM - I get cross when people change their plans :mad: but I hope the work goes well.

BookWorm

JKS - I had to give myself a stern talking to but think I've got the spending urge under control :rotfl:
Getting there with things thanks

I've had a pretty quiet day. Got all my chores done this morning and have spent this afternoon watching films. I have watched Dallas Buyers Club and The Book Thief. Both very different but enjoyable.
Anyone else seen them and if so what did you think?