OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

Winter_Phoenix

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Also still waiting for DD to sort her darn bedroom out - she is soooo untidy, but in that teenage way it doesn't bother her in the slightest :mad:.

We have had words about her new clothes being strewn around the floor, & she has broken her kindle by stepping on it, but again, she just isn't bothered. I'm at a bit of a loss trying to deal with her TBH - she's in that vile stage where everyone (but especially me) is an utter irrelevance to her & is treated with contempt. I've tried asking nicely, explaining why she can't do certain things, warning her that there will be consequences but nothing seems to reach her.

This is one of the times when I find being a singlie hard - if I spoke to my ex (her Dad) it would only be proof of my carp parenting skills in his eyes. None of my friends are single parents, & their way of dealing with issues it to get the other parent to sort it all out if they've failed - not really an option here. Still, I must be doing something right as she is certain she doesn't want to go & live with her Dad :rotfl:

I shall continue to recite "This too will pass" & remind myself she can't be vile forever

I'm not recommending it, you understand, but what cured my DD at that age was when we were burgled.

By the time the police, and then the fingerprint people, and then the crime prevention people, and then the window-lock-fitting people, had all tramped through the house (and either commented in shocked tones on the state of her bedroom or done the stifled-gasp-raised-eyebrows-pursed-mouth silence as they clambered through the unwashed clothes, spilt make up, dirty cutlery and crockery, plates of half-eaten food going mouldy, broken bits of plastic, old chocolate wrappers, etc.), she was ready to clear and clean the room. She did try saying that it must have been the burglars who had left the mess, but it was a bit odd that the rest of the house was still clean and tidy.

calicocat

Winter_Phoenix wrote: »

I'm not recommending it, you understand, but what cured my DD at that age was when we were burgled.

By the time the police, and then the fingerprint people, and then the crime prevention people, and then the window-lock-fitting people, had all tramped through the house (and either commented in shocked tones on the state of her bedroom or done the stifled-gasp-raised-eyebrows-pursed-mouth silence as they clambered through the unwashed clothes, spilt make up, dirty cutlery and crockery, plates of half-eaten food going mouldy, broken bits of plastic, old chocolate wrappers, etc.), she was ready to clear and clean the room. She did try saying that it must have been the burglars who had left the mess, but it was a bit odd that the rest of the house was still clean and tidy.

Lol.

You have to give her credit for trying though...lol

Byatt

I've just had another text from DD's gf, asking me why I involved the rspca (I didn't, support did) and that I am not a mother, for doing that to a DD, and to leave them alone.

I know I shouldn't be upset, because the gf is trying to isolate DD and I'm the scapegoat...she didn't help with the bunns at all, and of course DD is heartbroken. But not heartbroken enough to have done something about them.

I am not going to reply, but will ask support to make it clear it was not me. It's a horrible trigger though...seems I'm fated to know really toxic people. They want me to leave them alone, which I'm doing, but they keep texting!

moneyistooshorttomention

Put that phone down Byatt!!

What actual purpose is it serving for them to keep texting you like this? I cant see one. It looks to me as if they are offloading in your direction. Let them vent in another direction...

You're entitled to a Headspace Break. Take one.

Take care of yourself (( ))

Byatt

I have the phone on silent, but because of my business I have to check it. Yes off loading on me. I'm better now, a glass of wine and vent on here helps. :cool:

Thanks for listening, I'm lucky this weekend as I'm sitting at a gorgeous house with a beautiful ragdoll cat who is following me everywhere, so feel very honoured as it's only the 2nd time we've met.

I might take a "turn" round the garden, it's huge! Lots of wildlife too.
I have no head space left, and I knwo this because I keep doing and saying stupid things!

xx

moneyistooshorttomention

"Turn round garden" = good plan.

Not just a cat, but a ragdoll cat too:)

Winter_Phoenix

Byatt, I've just been through a time when other people tried to offload their baggage, their issues, their self-made problems, by pretending everything was somehow my fault/my responsibility.

A friend from Poland taught me this old Polish saying:
"Not my circus, not my monkeys."

I found it useful, partly because it's so short and yet sums up what I wanted to say, and partly because it says it in such an odd way that it stops the other party in their tracks while they think about it (so I can walk away/put the telephone down).

Also, I imagine that they would sound very silly if they started shouting angrily about monkeys and circuses.

:rotfl:

Byatt

WP, love it!

You are all such kind people, thank you.

ps, just had my turn round the garden, it's red hot out there, but saw rabbits, a hare, various birds, squirrels...came back and ragdoll cat was crying at the door (inside)...she's now lying at my feet. Amazing blue eyes.

RosiePuddingPaws

WP - great saying. I'm going to try and remember that for the future.

Byatt - glad to hear you are in such a lovely place physically, and with a ragdoll that has obviously taken to you in a big way. Hopefully that will help lower your stress levels a bit. Have a great pet sitting and hopefully things may calm down soon.

RPP

calicocat

Oh dear Byatt.


It does sound like DD ends up with people who are quite dominant and controlling...?, and horrid that you are made the scapegoat. All you can do is what you have done, and try to keep some distance I guess, very difficult situation though.

Glad you are with a ragdoll cutie to take your mind off it a bit.

This gf sounds horrid!

WP....i am going to pinch your phrase.....for various different situations I can think of.