OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

mothernerd

Thanks for all your kind comments - thinking getting the (lady) vicar in might help. They do get some money - well partner does but just started process of getting carer's allowance for mum. However it depends on his mood from day to day how generous he is feeling.

They have things to wear round their necks and a door alarm (goes off if they open the front door after 10pm). These are linked to central control room who ring them if the alarm goes off and if they don't answer, the operator then has a family contact who goes round to check on them.

A neighbour has a gardening business and he is now being paid a small monthly fee to keep the garden in check - mum's partner is physically capable, mum isn't but last time partner did any weeding, when mum wasn't looking he went to different part of the garden and pulled her precious lily bulbs up.

Poor twin who has 2 kids , 2 jobs etc is doing some housework (mum and I will never agree on housework, so she didn't ask me). I can always find something better to do - when my children were small I adopted the mantra "We eat well (home prepared) and all have clean clothes - anything else is a bonus". Partly mum's fault as I was put in charge of my younger brothers from the age of 2 (middle one poked things in the fire, played in grids and ate things he shouldn't - my parents once had a party and he climbed onto the kitchen worktop the next day and poured all the dregs from the beer bottles into one and drank it) whilst mum went off doing housework - upstairs made all the beds hoovered etc. Her other favourite was "Watch that chip pan" - I could barely see the top of the stove. In 34 years of owning my own home I have never had a chip pan - the terror remains.

They have also started having deliveries of the pensioner meals advertised on the tv - immediately after the fall mum couldn't do anything and they had jam butties one day. Her partner could make a sandwich if he had to, but needed telling when to do so (time confusion was his first symptom). Mum can make meals some of the time but is sometimes reluctant to make changes - I have tried to get her to microwave vegetables as I worry about her lifting heavy pans of water. Even just after the fall I was the only one who thought to chop a pile of veg and take stuff with me to make a pan of chicken broth (took a cake as well) which did them several days and could be put away in the freezer for another time. Partner has 5 children.

Sometimes he will hand over money willingly and at others he refuses or sulks. A couple of weeks ago (think he must have been having a dream) he gave mum £30, which was to buy shoes 'for everyone':rotfl:(not sure which decade he had gone back to). In the end mum took it and just put it with the food money.

In the beginning I did tell mum (expert who came to talk to them said the same) that it was important to go out and if partner does not want to, she needs to have a break and go out herself. Not sure if this is happening.

I think I need to go in hard and if that makes me the baddie and she won't talk to me (probably just be 'off' with me) for a few weeks, so be it. She has been noting down signs of deterioration but I think it is time for his children to step up more. She always says his family are supportive but (especially before her accident) they were inclined to sit and chat while she ran round providing endless cups of tea and cake and biscuits if not full meals.

One son, son's daughters (twins) do a lot and with myself (chief de-clutterer) we have formed a family within a family but I think I need to lay down the law again (when she fell mum shuffled from the bottom of the stairs to in front of the fire, couldn't ask her partner to help her get up in case he fell on top of her. Luckily her cousin rang about arrangements for another cousin's funeral and she sent her husband and daughter who then phoned the ambulance - otherwise mum was going to spend all night on the floor. She hadn't bothered to tell any of her partner's children this and 'sulked' at me when I made sure they all knew).

Just worried (don't want to make this about me) that my mood is very low again today (have had chocolate but as a diabetic I really shouldn't and usually try not to have it in the house). I have tried very hard to stay positive during my long recuperation, ignoring jobs I wasn't able to do and trying not to panic about finances and I can't let myself give in now.

Anyway, thanks to you all for listening and just being there - I am not usually this grumpy, honest (have painted, papered and put carpet in tiny bedroom, painted back house wall and filled a wheelie bin with weeds in past few days - maybe I should say today is a well-earned rest day.

JustKeepSwimming_2

:mad: just lost another post - so love to all, especially Mothernerd & I'll try & be more coherent tomorrow - must get some sleep now. Nitey nite :beer:

BookWorm

Evening all

Just passing through.

I've had a busy week at work including a full day of giving presentations yesterday :eek: (my least fave activity ever!) and now just counting the hours til the weekend. Does anyone else feel like they spend the days wishing their time away?

I hope that you are all ok and the silence doesn't mean you are all having stressful times.

Hugs BW

mum2one

not to bad here, had final meet for DDs secondary school, and gd news (better than what I thought) we only have to have personailsed sweatshirts and pe shirts, the rest we can source locally...
makes you laugh the "offical school uniform supplier" wants £15 for a sweatshirt, this yr there now working with Tesco - they do a personalised service.... the tesco sweatshirt with logo £7.50...

thou pe shirts £18 - not available at Tesco...

no news on "my man" - but hey I wasn't looking for a toyboy... thou could do with a cougar moment! xxx

BookWorm

Hi mum2one

good news re: the uniforms. Can't believe how expensive that can be!

LOL re: wanting a cougar moment. Do we think that can be another task for the 'man in the cupboard'?!

mothernerd

Spent some time relieving my stress by bashing away at a patch of cracked concrete. Need the proper (lump) hammer for the thicker patches - will have to persuade one of the boys to go back in the attic (stairs semi-dismantled, needs ropes and a sherpa).

Lazy day today. Did a bit up a ladder on Tuesday and haven't been able to persuade my legs to go up again since. Need DS1 to help remove some guttering (only top of French window height). Have a replacement piece but it is just not co-operating - should be simple really.

Good news about the uniforms. I used to help out with starter (pre-school) group and the woman who ran it had two boys a few years older than my eldest. She used to pass on bin bags of (very good) clothes + things like proper hiking boots. When her sons got to being teenagers, I found some of the clothes fit me as well. One day DS2 (6/7yo at the time) came into the bathroom and said "Who's this Calvin Klein and why are you wearing his jumper?" (because all their school clothes had to have their name embroidered on the front to save confusion after pe).

Good luck with the cougar moment.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Evening all - had a day off work today due to lack of childcare for the school strike so thought I'd get loads done :rotfl:

Didn't really happen but I'm hoping that I may get some done at the w/e :rotfl:

Hope the quietness doesn't mean we're all too stressed or busy to post either. Mothernerd - hope things are improving for you.

Well done to anyone who even attempts a cougar moment - so knackered all I can think about is sleeping in bed & I feel anything but desirable, but to those who are still interested!

When my DS started at high school last September he needed the school rugby shirt - so I bought him one a few sizes larger than he needed. Poor kid still keeps getting asked if he has shorts on under his dress when he wears it :rotfl:. Very MSE though.....

mum2one

Apologies in advance - lowering the tone!!

Just brought myself a new bed (buy now pay 12 mths so mse!!), gave the other bed to the local re-homing furniture centre - when they came to collect it, the one man commented on how good condition the matress was - had to bite my toungue.. as I nearly blurted out - yep just been me sleeping in it and therefore seen no action....
but I was good...xx

moneyistooshorttomention

:rotfl:Beds seeing action:rotfl:. My current one never has...and I cant recall how long it is I've had it (the bed...the bed....).

The garden has been seeing plenty of action though. Lots of weed-pulling and planning for future going on and got myself a bit of quirky sculpture for it (courtesy of there being lots of rather creative type people round here). Never mind a Yorkshire-style "HOW much?:eek:", more like "HOW little?:)" at the prices its possible to buy some of their wares at:). Will help to "quirk up" the garden a bit, which I feel it needs as it and the house came in very conventional (trans..boring) style and need "something or other" to individualise them. Inside of the house is no longer obviously the home of an elderly and conventional person (much of it is now "totally standard 21st century style" as I'm not a creative person), but the outside...gets thinking cap on.

Still getting to know new people. Anyone of a possible "friend" nature visiting the place often tends to end up walking down the drive with some homegrown food in hand for their dinner that night. Must try and work out whereabouts the bit of "woods (yep...I did say woods...as that's where they live...:rotfl:) I've been invited to 'go and visit in' " are and if the awful bus service round here will get me there after my latest visitor..

Time for breakfast then....and a day that includes volunteer stints at two different places and working out "Plan of Action" for a friend from Home Area that is coming here to stay for a few days soon.

BookWorm

:beer:

Yay for the weekend finally getting here!