OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

BookWorm

LB - did you get your quiet weekend?

Great idea re: the charity thing. I'm sure I can find a little something for you

dibuzz

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Hope everyone will have a fantastic weekend - we're off to visit my cantankerous mother & taking her out for lunch. She will no doubt manage to upset everyone she comes into contact with - the taxi driver will be too fast/slow, the food will be too hot/cold/bland/spicy, the waiting staff will be too slow/rude - I'm dreading it . I don't think I've ever know her to happy about anything, & nothing is ever right, or good enough (including me). My Dad used to say she was born miserable & I think he was right, sadly. I find her exhausting to be around (as do other family members) & her negativity still affects me for days even though I try hard to shrug it off. I hate to see her so unhappy, but she revels in it & at her age I doubt she'll ever change.

Reading that back makes me sound horrible & I'm not, really :rotfl:. I could be the most dutiful, helpful daughter & it wouldn't be good enough, so I've settled for being a good enough (in my eyes) daughter.

Wish me luck

I think we have the same mother, nothing I do is good enough for her and never has been.
I haven't even told her about my mental health problems because all she would be concerned about is what people will think and how it will reflect on her.

I have a horrible habit of pulling my hair out, I wonder if the massage thing would work for that. I pull loads out and even when I know I'm doing it I can't stop, the urge to do it is far greater than any distraction or desire to stop.

catwhisker_2

LavenderBees wrote: »

Hello Catwhisker :j

Love the name...naturally! :T. Sounds like you've been through a tough time recently. Hope you are doing ok, and I'm glad we've managed to help you in a small way. A bit of company is a good thing at a tough time. I can well recommend a kitten for bringing a smile to the day. :T

Thanks for the welcome. I am doing well and concentrating on the positive things in my life. I must admit to enjoying being able to please myself and not having to walk on egg shells around someone who didn't value me enough. There's only Grumpy Ginger Cat telling me what to do these days!
I adopted Little Black Cat from a rescue after losing a much loved cat to a tumour last year. I wasn't expecting to get another cat so soon but you know how these things happen...as soon as that small bundle of black fluff cuddled into me there was no going back. Besides, Grumpy Ginger Cat was at a complete loss without another cat to be superior to. Now she can spend her days looking disdainfully at the interloper she is much more contented. Little Black Cat has brought much laughter and joy into my life.
Well, I'm having a fairly average Tuesday which is no bad thing! Hope everyone else is enjoying their day.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Firstly, hello to all the newbies :hello:

I'm having a rare day off work as my DS had a high temperature this morning, & had been complaining of tummy ache, so I've had to stay off with him (& probably lose a days pay too ). He seems a bit better today, so hopefully we'll both be back tomorrow (& my delightful boss can tell me how I've let the team down when we're already short staffed :mad:). DD was disgusted when she realized she was the only one leaving the house this morning :rotfl:

Mind you, I must be knackered as I went back to bed & slept soundly until 12, when DS woke me up for more Calpol (what a rubbish mother I am :eek:.
The trip to see Mother went as expected. We were 8 minutes late arriving at her house, so she was cross about my thoughtlessness in not letting her know we'd be so late. And it went on from there.... Absolutely nothing was right - not enough garlic on her starter, the service was poor (which it wasn't), she was too full to finish her main course (how is that anyone's fault?), she was too hot inside (but then it was too windy when we went outside) etc. All of these complaints were delivered in a loud voice, interrupting the conversation.

But the big news is that she is selling her house again. She wants to move back to South Devon as she has no friends where she is in Wales. And she moved to Wales as she'd fallen out with her fiends in Devon :wall:. So the plan is she is going to leave her adapted house with walk in shower, stair lift etc. & buy a house that her friend has viewed on her behalf as she can't get to Devon herself. She can barely walk from one end on her drive to the other due to arthritis, is 79 & doesn't have much spare money, yet she's going to put herself through the stress & expense of moving.

This is a pattern with her sadly - she moves every 3-4 years as it usually takes her that long to fall out with her neighbours to a level that is really unpleasant. But she cannot see that any of it is ever her fault - she's just been incredibly unlucky in living next door to all these horrible people

Oh well, she'll never listen to me (as in her own words "What on earth do you know about anything?") so I should just try not to let it bother me.

Hope all are doing well - LB sorry to hear about your wobble during Father's Day. I must admit to using a few choice words whenever the adverts came on as my Dad has been gone a while too.

BW - what a fab prize! Glad you had a lovely day out.

cornishchick

Hi all , I've lurked for a while and posted a couple of times before I officially became single. I am a recent young(ish :cool:) widow, I've been on this journey for 3 months and recently realised the down side and up side of singledom.
Down. No one to shout at when you forget to check there is loo roll before you sit down, or have some to answer the door/phone that always needs answering when you sit on said loo, or step into the shower.
Up side.. I can eat what I want when I want, leave stuff on the floor/ sofa with out any comments or feeling guilty the stuff will hinder some one else.
Don't get me wrong I miss my darling DH with every breath and finer of my body, but I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And carry on trying to be strong.

Any way I have come to join your merry band of amazing people.
I can offer tales of everyday surprises and the joy of being at work in a job that bores and challenges on equal scales.

So hello all. I will be back as soon as I have washed all the green paint spots of my person, and have a choccy biscuit to celerbrate finally painting the last bit of garden trellis .. See how rock and roll my life is.. You don't want to miss the next thrilling instalment.. :rotfl:
X CC

BookWorm

Welcome Catwhisker and Cornishchick

JKS - you have my sympathies - some relatives sure can be testing! Well done for surviving the visit :T Hope your DS feels better soon and hope that work aren't too :mad: with you.

JustKeepSwimming_2

dibuzz wrote: »

I think we have the same mother, nothing I do is good enough for her and never has been.

I've always fancied a sister Dibuzz!

BookWorm wrote: »

Welcome Catwhisker and Cornishchick

JKS - you have my sympathies - some relatives sure can be testing! Well done for surviving the visit :T Hope your DS feels better soon and hope that work aren't too :mad: with you.

The official people at work will be fine about it, as long as all the correct paperwork is filled in it's just my immediate boss who will be the problem - & he is like that with all of us, so it isn't exactly personal, just difficult to put up with. He is a classic case of someone who is in the wrong job as he cannot cope with any kind of change - & lots of changes get flung at us throughout the day :rotfl:. Still he is leaving soon, so not too long to put up with him for.

DS is now happily playing on the Wii, although he still has a high temperature so we'll have to see tomorrow. He is at the age where hes just a little too young to leave on his own.

BW - thanks for your comment - I guess I should just leave her to get on with it, but its hard when you see someone repeating the same mistakes over & over, especially when they could have such dire financial consequences. The killer is that even if this next move works out for her, she'll be unhappy there too after a few years.

However, the plus side is that she'll be too far away for me to visit for a day trip & as she abhors anyone staying over in at her house I guess my presence will be requested less often, & we'll have to stay in a B&B that we can always escape back too when it gets too much. Every cloud & all that :rotfl:

Cornishchick - welcome, that is a horrible time you must have had (that sounds patronising, but it isn't meant that way at all). I hear you on the ups & downs of singledom - it has taken me a good few years to ALWAYS check there is loo roll in the bathroom before I attempt to sit down :rotfl:

Sure I'm no the only one looking forward to hearing your tales.

calicocat

Welcome catwhisker and cornishchick.....looking forward to the singlie /surviving life stories.

Mum has been and left.....plus had several people from work either ring or turn up as it's SO bad there....(i don't want to go in on thursday!...how can I make up a reason?)

In the grand scheme of things mum was actually ok, lots of 'ticking off' and 'suggestions' about how to run my life naturally.....but mixed with some compliments I have to say....but then wiped out with the parting shot that I need to loose weight....

She forgot her tablets, so I had to go through all the ones she can remember that she takes and find out if she was likely to have a stroke or anything missing them. She wouldn't just let me ring her GP's to ask which would have been much easier. Worried about looking like an absent minded old person I reckon.......Hello....you are no spring chicken and allowed to forget things. Anyhow eventually we got it sorted.

But to be fair I don't think she has a clue how rude she can be at times and doesn't upset intentionally.


Friends 'vile-child' (horrid teenager)...has managed to get herself arrested for violent behaviour towards public and police, and kicked out of where she was living, poor mate in tears this morning.

And another colleague has been in tears about her ward and what's happening there......so i've gone from enjoying my time off one minute, to stress overload the next in huge proportions....in my 15 yrs working for NHS I have never had so many people I work with talking to each other for support or ringing each other in hysterics, yes the odd one about a particular incident, but nothing like it is now...it's insane, and the whole thought of returning stresses me out.


Enough of the negative stuff though......I have the beginnings of some peppers on my plants!!....and looks like beetroot are making....well beetroot. Ran off this morning to buy some plant food for peppers......I will grow fruit...I will grow fruit...or veg...is a pepper not a fruit?

Ruddy idiot-cat has been eating Pieris plants (I think that's how you spell it) in garden this morning...then threw up all over house. Have google'd it, and they are toxic to cats, so will have to see if she's sick again, and if she keeps eating it will have to dig them out...all 4 of them. A few years ago she ate half a poinsettia plant and lived through all the vomiting to be fine the next day.

I haven't even sorted which vet I want to use around here yet....Note to self to get this sorted in the next couple of weeks, unless need one later today that is, but she seems ok at the moment...it can cause cardiac arrest though too, so keeping a close eye on her. I grow grass for her...can't she just eat that!

Got tomorrow to chill out (will not be answering calls from work people as I need head space away from it.) If , and that's a big if, it's not windy, might go get paint and have a go at side units.

Well done on the superbike day wins...sounds like a good day Bookworm.

BookWorm

Calico - sorry to hear that you've had such a stressful day I think ignoring any calls from work people tomorrow is a v good idea. Time off is precious and should be kept as stress free as possible (I accept that life sometimes has other ideas on this part ).

Hope puss cat is feeling better now. Hopefully the being poorly will be enough to discourage from any more eating said plant.


I've had a very lazy day - popped out for small bit of food shopping but otherwise have pottered around at home and online. Feel like I should be but actually feeling a bit cos it's such a rare treat.

calicocat

Bookworm....it hasn't all been today, it started sunday and went on from there, but you are right, I shall most definitely not answer stuff about work as have done enough over the last few days.




I love lazy days, they are great aren't they. All I want to do these days is hang out on beach, grow herbs and other food, and cook. Preferably all in pj's....well not the beach bit....plus hens, I like hanging out with hens now...lol.



I am going to google if picking up horse shoite off roads etc is illegal....there is lots around here, and would be good for the garden wouldn't it....and free.