OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

wherenext

I have changed my username as I need to give a bit more "personal" info than I usually would.
You are all so great at seeing things in different ways, so I am asking for your opinions please.
I am female, 63, single, no family apart from grown up children who live abroad. I am in reasonably good health, fit and have most of my faculties intact. I am a fairly self-contained person and keep myself to myself and am happy with that. I do lack confidence.
At present I live in a flat which I love. In a big city but with a lovely outlook onto river/swans/ducks etc. But ... I am not happy here. It is too big and impersonal and I feel vulnerable as I have no close friends or relatives to hand.
What are the pros and cons of moving into a retirement flat? Am I too young? I get on well with older people in general. I live a very quiet life. Would it give me a sense of security which I feel I need. Or would I immediately feel 20 years older and a bit creaky?
I do like living in a city environment - just not all on my own.

LavenderBees

MummyBobble wrote: »

Just a quick "Good morning". It's sunny, it's the weekend and (having been awake most of the night with a flipping awful earache), I've been up long enough to have just put the third load of washing on (and there's still about another four to go).

Was planning on being very healthy and having raspberries with yoghurt for breakfast but DD has eaten all the yoghurt, so I had raspberries, ice cream and chocolate sauce for breakfast :eek:. That was about three hours ago so I'm off now for a poached egg and muffin (pretending that breakfast number one didn't happen, you can do that when you're a singlie and nobody knows ).

Back to read through what you've all been up to these last couple of days later.

Have a good day. .

Hope your earache clears up soon .

If it makes you feel any better at all, I ate a whole tub of ice cream last night, just because I wanted to, and can. Being a singlie has some benefits, that's for sure :T

This week (since Wed) I have eaten 10 small eggs and one normal sized egg. When do they stop laying? :rotfl:

LavenderBees

wherenext wrote: »

I have changed my username as I need to give a bit more "personal" info than I usually would.
You are all so great at seeing things in different ways, so I am asking for your opinions please.
I am female, 63, single, no family apart from grown up children who live abroad. I am in reasonably good health, fit and have most of my faculties intact. I am a fairly self-contained person and keep myself to myself and am happy with that. I do lack confidence.
At present I live in a flat which I love. In a big city but with a lovely outlook onto river/swans/ducks etc. But ... I am not happy here. It is too big and impersonal and I feel vulnerable as I have no close friends or relatives to hand.
What are the pros and cons of moving into a retirement flat? Am I too young? I get on well with older people in general. I live a very quiet life. Would it give me a sense of security which I feel I need. Or would I immediately feel 20 years older and a bit creaky?
I do like living in a city environment - just not all on my own.

Hello

I'm not honestly sure anyone can really answer this for you. IMHO, it really depends on your view point what you will consider to be a pro or a con.

My parents were only in sheltered accommodation for a short time, but the things they loved were - the security (physical and emotional), the feeling of being looked after (someone checked on them every day), the community feel - lots of clubs/company if you want it, the feeling of still being independent and having your own front door, the not having to worry about maintenance/washing windows/doing the garden.

Have you looked at any retirement complexes/flats? It really is such a personal decision. I'd suggest you have a mooch around quite a few, talk to the managers, talk to some residents and see whether anything will suit you.

Alternatively, your current flat sounds lovely, so maybe try to cultivate a little more of a social life where you are. Libraries are a mine of information of clubs/social gatherings. Being self contained is a good thing, but we all need a little social interaction.

One thought though - one thing my Dad always said about moving into sheltered accommodation was that he wished they had done it years earlier (he was early 70s when they moved) as their original flat was where working people lived so for too many days they never saw anyone just to pass the time of day with. As soon as they arrived in the retirement flat, they had outings/evenings out/lunches etc to look forward to. As much or as little company as they wanted. They really seemed to thrive.

But it's a very personal choice...


LB xx

BookWorm

Afternoon all

Sorry for being awol for a while I was away visiting family over the Easter weekend and since being back I've been a bit up and down on the emotional front. I'm hoping that it's just a 'hangover' from missing family and work bringing reality crashing back to me but either way I hope the blah feeling passes soon.

Hope you lovely peeps are all doing ok

BookWorm

Hi wherenext - I think LB has made some really good points and I'm not sure I can add anything else in respect of your question. However, I can offer a big 'welcome'

moneyistooshorttomention

WhereNext,

I'd agree it's a very personal thing. I personally wouldn't live in a retirement complex for a variety of reasons, like the flats are too small for me and I wouldn't wish to live amongst an elderly community.

Having said that, I don't know what proportion of people living in these complexes are elderly and how many are late middle-aged. I tend to imagine they will be elderly and that puts me off.

When I moved house recently, I found myself by coincidence amongst a basically pretty elderly community of house-owners. Most are pretty welcoming, though there is an element of "I have lived here longer than you, so I decide how things are" (errr...no...not when it concerns me...).

Even living in this pretty elderly little enclave brings with it having to remind myself that I personally am not elderly and mustn't let myself fall by default into an "elderly" lifestyle. I have had to remind myself a few times that I am middle-aged and therefore it's a middle-aged (possibly occasionally a bit younger;):)) lifestyle that is the "appropriate" one for me. So making sure I get out and about and active as per normal and trying out new interests/activities etc as I am used to.

I wonder whether that is the downside to living in retirement communities then? ie the temptation to take to an "elderly" lifestyle.

Possibly also the temptation to look around at the older people nearby and maybe get convinced by some of them that old age and ill health are inevitable bedfellows. It is always necessary to remind yourself that that is not the case. My (elderly) parents are the only ones who would have the nerve actually to suggest to me that these two things are bedfellows and I do have to remind myself that they are wrong and many people do retain their health throughout. But it is must be an easy thing to do to accept that and expect to be unhealthy unless you are a pretty strong person.

Just my thoughts. But, as LB stated, it is indeed a very personal decision.

wherenext

Lavender Bees: thank you for your thoughts. The point about your Dad seeing the advantage of doing it sooner rather than later is a good one.
Bookworm: thanks for reading
Moneyis..: I know just what you mean about possibly being tempted into imagining you are older than you are -although I have met quite a few 90 year olds that put me to shame ! It might work the other way round.
It will all take a lot more thinking about, and I definitely need to have a nosey around a few different possibilities.

BookWorm

Morning everyone.

I was woken up today by the smell of gammon which I had put in the slow cooker overnight. It was both lovely and torturous at the same time

Have a good day whatever you are up to

LavenderBees

Morning!

Grim day here - proper rain again. My girls will be sloshing in the mud. Checked on them much earlier this morning before the rain started and they were happy girls as I've managed to work out how to get the pophole to open automatically at 6am...no more rolling out of bed and going to lottie in PJs and wellies to let them out :T. My goodness, those girls can bloomin nag at the tops of their voices!

Am starting a bit of a miserable job today - starting to sort out my Mam's estate. I've already eaten the chocolate that was to sustain me throughout today's work and haven't started yet . Not really sure where to begin, but begin I must...

A full week of work lies ahead, which is a bit of a shock after the last couple of short weeks

Anyone got anything nice happening they can report on to cheer:( me up?

LB xx

BookWorm

Hiya LB

I'm not looking forward to a 5 day working week either!

Sorry no news to cheer you up but I can offer you a dodgy hug :grouphug:... they always make me smile

x