OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

Charis

Byatt wrote: »

A E Houseman (just watched Endeavour...)

To-day I shall be strong,
No more shall yield to wrong,
Shall squander life no more;
Days lost, I know not how,
I shall retrieve them now;
Now I shall keep the vow
I never kept before.

Don't go there Byatt. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, so they say.

moneyistooshorttomention

The thought of a mini-break is certainly tempting Byatt.

I'm keeping myself going right now with the thought that it will only be a few more weeks to keep at it. Not because the house will be finished then, as unfortunately it won't, but because I'll have run out of money to spend on it for the time being and have got to wait for some more.

I feel there are external pressures coming to bear on this. Both personal (ie in case I have to go back to my home area temporarily to deal with stuff that will come up at some point and it's just a question of when) and I want to feel the house is "under control" before then.

The other external pressure is the one to spend spare savings as fast as possible, in case the Government decides to do a bail-in of the banks at some point (in order to make sure that my savings were down beneath Nicking Level iyswim). There will be a minimum amount of savings people can have beneath which the Government won't dare grab any I would estimate and I want my savings safely in No Grab Zone. I get hot under the collar as it is whenever I think about how much of my State Pension has been grabbed by raising my State Pension Age (particularly as I need my money myself) and don't want to get any "hotter".

I'll just keep repeating to myself "Just a few more weeks, just a few more weeks...." and reminding myself that the house itself will be able to be described as "ready to move into" at that point. Every English person I know that has recently moved here is conducting major renovation works on their house too and some are even more major than mine.

Day out being fed my meals by a new friend tomorrow and going on a country walk she has discovered - and I'll probably be quite cheered-up by seeing just how much work she is going to have to do on her house compared to mine..:rotfl:. We're both of us starting in on a little bit of a jobshare on some voluntary work I've found for myself to get into more when I'm free-r.

Am slipping in odd bits of time to explore the country walks nearby...getting to know the area gradually..in between all the work.

MummyBobble

Byatt, my mother was my biggest naysayer...

Unfortunately, mine was too. Nothing was ever good enough. When I told her I was pregnant (at 36, having been with my partner for 8 years) her response was "I knew if one of you would have a baby without getting married it would be you". Sadly she passed away when DD was 9 weeks old and the last thing she said to me was "You've put on some weight, never thought you'd be the fat one".

I just hope that I've learned to be more thoughtful before I speak and, regardless of what I may be thinking, my response would be helpful rather then hurtful

On a more cheerful note lets get back to chickens. While it's Easter I dug out the video of DD at pre-school 12 years ago when she sang:

I'm a spring chicken, yellow and small
My feathers are fluffy and they're keeping me warm
My legs are not long and I'll never be tall
But I'm a chicken, I'm a chicken
And I'm having a ball :T

Focusing on the happy memories is definitely the way to go

calicocat

[QUOTE=MummyBobble;65311469

I'm a spring chicken, yellow and small
My feathers are fluffy and they're keeping me warm
My legs are not long and I'll never be tall
But I'm a chicken, I'm a chicken
And I'm having a ball :T

[/QUOTE]

Lol...


My 'negative' influence has just left, she was so focused on the garden she forgot to complain about the lack of hoovering...lol.

Actually to be fair she wasn't that bad today, and is slowly being less so as she gets older. Generally though she is always pointing out the negatives of everything....i'm not even sure that's how she really feels or whether it's just how she speaks, if that makes sense. I have given up caring to be frank and just let her rattle on.

She has finally come round to thinking that she should sell up and buy a bungalow. This is for sure a move in the right direction.....but bless her she thinks she's got a few years to think about it yet as she's not old.

?????.........she's 80!

I decided to be brutally honest today and told her she should start looking now before someone decides she's too barmy to make her own decisions. I shall be pushing this idea, as having worked in elderly it's always the ones in a house and not a bungalow that end up being shoved in a home due to stairs and falls etc.

Mummybobble......thats the kind of comments my mum can make. to be honest I don't think they mean to be hurtful or cruel, I think they just have serious lack of insight...into themselves and language used.



On a lighter note I got a glimpse of the 'thumbs gang' when at shops with mum, she didn't want to go and see ferrel cats......i'm assuming in her head they are riddled with fleas and all sorts of nasty diseases...so I didn't bother and will just go visit them tomorrow as don't want my mum putting them off me.

Hope all have had a good easter.

Ikea for me tomorrow....i know I will wake up with some excuse not to go....lol. .....again.....but, if that happens it's ok, it's not like me not going is on a parr with murder or anything.

moneyistooshorttomention

Well that's certainly a thought to digest Calico...re its always the ones in houses, not bungalows, that get "shoved in a home".

Hmmm...bearing in mind a pretty recent comment I made to my own mother about "Just why did you want to go upstairs anyway?" in the context of her deciding to do so in her own home and having a fall on the stairs as a consequence.

Very difficult situation and how do I personally know that I will be "hanging on in there no problem at all" courtesy of the fact that, by coincidence, I have bought a bungalow, rather than a house iyswim? That really was "one of those things", rather than a deliberate decision on my part...as the bungalow represented best value for money in the circumstances.

Hmmm...very much down to the individual concerned and their personal view on life and I will admit to being surprised personally at how many people end up with health problems they haven't envisaged and no plans of any description as to how to deal with them if it does happen.

calicocat

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Well that's certainly a thought to digest Calico...re its always the ones in houses, not bungalows, that get "shoved in a home".

Hmmm...bearing in mind a pretty recent comment I made to my own mother about "Just why did you want to go upstairs anyway?" in the context of her deciding to do so in her own home and having a fall on the stairs as a consequence.

Very difficult situation and how do I personally know that I will be "hanging on in there no problem at all" courtesy of the fact that, by coincidence, I have bought a bungalow, rather than a house iyswim? That really was "one of those things", rather than a deliberate decision on my part...as the bungalow represented best value for money in the circumstances.

Hmmm...very much down to the individual concerned and their personal view on life and I will admit to being surprised personally at how many people end up with health problems they haven't envisaged and no plans of any description as to how to deal with them if it does happen.

Honestly working in elderly for sure has me thinking ahead. I have been telling both my parents to buy a bungalow since they were 60, my dad is dead now, but mum has taken 20 years to take any notice. ...and to be frank she still hasn't taken any notice of me, she's just decided it herself now.

Lots of people could stay in their own home for longer if they had a bungalow, or flat on ground floor.

She was looking at getting equity out of her house to get cash, personally I think it's an insane idea and she should downsize and get a bungalow....thank god she is coming round to this herself, the house is still hers one hundred percent and she still has cash to go and buy a Porsche or whatever next hair-brained idea she has.


Last month she ended up spending 400 smackeroonies on face cream on the internet...admittedly probably not her fault as lots of people have been scammed by it, but today, at 80, she's asking if she should go onto facebook...........

NO!....all your details will be everywhere....i have managed to put her off that one...I think, but she has mentioned it a few times recently. I can't imagine the potential fallout from that one if she got her hands on it.


It's worrying but funny too bless her, the other week she rang to ask what colour gel nails she should have....lol....this is a new fad that she took up a few months ago.

grousescot

Very interesting to read of everyone's experiences and opinions on their work. My preferred criteria for employment is pretty much as specified by MITSTM. I've worked a few late evenings and the odd weekend in temporary jobs but I would be loath to work those sort of hours on a permanent and long-term basis. I'm glad I'm not considered important enough to be issued with a work mobile phone, with the implicit expectation that I'll be routinely contactable at unsociable hours.

Anything involving selling stuff or any customer-facing role would be about the worst thing I could think of. When I was job hunting I did wonder if I could find a role with minimal direct personal contact so I'd get all my assignments emailed to me and send my work back the same way. What I ended up doing isn't quite like that but for sure I prefer sending responses in a written form where I have a chance to tailor my wording than using the phone.

I guess what I do now suits about as well as anything I can think of at the moment, but if it was actually making me ill then I'd think it a necessity to find something else ASAP. That's a scary thought but would be preferable to becoming so unwell that I wasn't able to work.

I managed to get a few things done over the long weekend. I had a clear-out of a cupboard where I keep towels and most of my collection of grooming products. I got into using fancy shaving kit, aftershave, etc. a few years back and as a result don't need to buy any more possibly for the rest of the decade! I actually gave away one "body maintenance kit" I got for Christmas a couple of years ago for a raffle prize recently and today I've found I have two more. Yeek. Where did all this stuff come from? Anyway it's relatively well organised now so there's a task that's been needing done for maybe a couple of years finally completed and it took me all of half an hour or so.

I think I can consider it a small achievement that my laundry basket is not overflowing and the clothes dryer is empty. Slowly I am training myself that I don't have to wait until I run out of clothes to put a wash on and to put stuff away as soon as it's dry and not just use the dryer as a sort of freestanding wardrobe.

I'm still feeling a bit "meh" but this will be a shorter working week for me so not long till next weekend.

moneyistooshorttomention

One of my worst thoughts too jobwise would be having to try and sell things to people. One thing to work in a shop and take money off a customer who had picked up something they wished to buy, but having to do "hard sell" stuff to sell goods/services to people who didn't really want them:eek: I'd be far too inclined to agree with any customer who said "No, it isn't a very good product actually and I don't actually need it".:rotfl:

CALICO
Laughing at your mother still doing expensive face creams and gel nails at her age. Well...there's still "life in the old gal yet" then:rotfl:. Think I prefer my mothers idea that she must stay tidied-up/slim (though she does overdo that rather still and I point out that she might as well have what she wants at her age)/and she's pretty good at doing "elegant".

Me, on the other hand, I still have a couple of stone weight to lose (MUST MUST MUST make that Next Project after House Renovation) and try to upgrade at least from "bit of scruff and/or hippy" to at least "smart casual". The holidaymakers are here again in the area and the particular ones we get here are a reminder to me of what I am supposed to look like. Must spend next few months "watching and learning" from them and then do a personal revamp once I've got my figure back again. Mental note so far to check out what the make of boots are I've seen some wearing....look rather suitable for the area here actually.

spirit

Morning all, sorry I've been AWOL for a while, I've been reading so keeping up with you all.

LB love the pics of your chooks, they are such fun aren't they - the eggs are just the icing on the cake (at least that was my experience) It's days like we have now when I'm out gardening that I miss them most. They would have been out there with me 'helping' :rotfl:

Calico, I hope your mother agrees now to move whilst she is still able to. I'm 'only' mid fifties and am already thinking of my next move- which will be to a bungalow. I've lived in a bungalow before - a big family 4 bed thing and loved the fact that you often get a bigger garden with them.

Money - you might find that with all your house renovating and gardening that you lose the excess pounds anyway - unless you 'compensate' for your hard work with the odd cake or two!! Not that I would do that of course :rotfl:

Someone a few pages back asked if anyone had done the 5.2 diet. I meant to answer then, but so much has gone on here (more later). In the last 10 months I have lost 4 stone [STRIKE]dieting[/STRIKE] eating this way.

Grousecot - glad you're recovering well from your eye op. re work stuff, I still consider what work I'd really like to do when I 'grow up'. Like Money and others I suspect, I do something that pays the bills but bores me silly much of the time.

Byatt, I'm sorry to read of the problems with your DD and her partner. How have things been the past few days?

Sorry if I've missed anything, will go back and catch up some more later.

This weekend I have painted my sitting room and dining rooms. They are kind of separate but not iykwim. I just came across a massive tub of emulsion in a creamy colour that was reduced in H0mebase on Friday. I was going to start painting on the Sunday when rain was forecast, however there was a right nippy easterly wind so decided against gardening. At the same time I listed my auxilliary hen house/broody coop/hen hospital on freegle. I could have sold it I guess but just couldn't be bothered. :eek:

I've got the rest of the week off as holiday. I really need this time since I've not taken one day off since last October (not counting Bank Holidays) I did loads of gardening yesterday and the garden (3 raised beds and a bigger dug area for the parsnips and runner beans).

spirit

OK and this is my current 'problem'. You might remember that I was going to be the mother of the bride this September. Well towards the end of February my DD announced that she had left her fiance. she'd stayed that night in a hotel paid for by a friend. To cut a long story short, I told her to pack some things and come here since I'm about half an hour from where she works so at least she could continue that.

The following day we went back to her/their rented flat and took most of the rest of her stuff and brought it home. 4 weeks later we went back to do the final clean before handing the flat back. 10 piggin hours later and countless trips up and down the stairs to the car and rubbish bins (2nd floor flat) it was gleaming and spotless!

Now here is the problem, the night she came 'home' she disappeared up to her bedroom and was clearly talking to someone in that way that I recognised that this was 'small talk' with a man iykwim. I gave her the benefit of my 'wisdom' about not rushing headlong into another relationship and to give herself time to get over the other one. Blimey, I've not got over it myself yet, how can one minute I be buying her wedding stuff, visiting the venue with her and (now ex) fiance just days before it all kicked off and then it all go belly up.

I agree that she did the right thing by not going ahead with a marriage to someone she had nothing in common with, went nowhere with etc. Much better to realise now than go through divorce etc down the line.

I had a feeling she was seeing someone else, the past couple of weeks she's stayed over with 'friends' from work after having supposedly going out with them in the evening, but then she's been going over there weekends a lot too. The last time she said something about the weather being better 'down here' and I said that her old town was along the M4 not up or down anywhere.

Fast forward to last Thursday and she sat down and said she had something to tell me and announced that she was seeing this guy she met at work (he's a sales guy apparently). Seemingly he stays in a hotel down here (is from the North West), she was going up to stay with him over Easter, going up by train and he would bring her home (and for me to meet him) on Easter Monday. BUT he is 14 years older than her!!! she is mid twenties.

Now what the heck do I do/say. I met him briefly last night when she 'popped' home for some things for work today and headed off to his hotel last night.

Together they look like father/daughter. My gut feeling is that she is looking for a father figure to replace the one she felt she didn't/doesn't have in her own dad. I hope that it'll fizzle out/one of them will get bored with the whole long distance thing etc.

What do I say to her tonight when she gets home from work (he will drive back up north this afternoon). I think I might say nothing at all about him. I certainly don't want him staying overnight here, not because of his age or anything, but this is my home, I love the single life and don't want to feel embarassed/a gooseberry in my own house.

Sorry for the long posts. any thoughts please fellow singlies?