Sensitive first post

Tiddlywinks

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect people to research their method of contraception?

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect someone who absolutely must NOT get pregnant to use more than one method of contraception to prevent said pregnancy?

Simple fact is, this situation WAS preventable.

A bit of care would have ensured a life wasn't created only to be prematurely brought to an end.

clairec79

Person_one wrote: »

I sort of agree, but would say that applies equally to the decision to have a baby, which in many ways has further reaching and more serious consequences.

I agree, you have to be 100% sure either way - and the OP has time on her side to make sure that decision is right for her - if she was 23 weeks and 5 days and coming up against the deadline it would be different but she's not, I would suggest anyone in her situation takes as much time as they need to decide what they want to do, be that abortion, adoption or motherhood

paulineb_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect people to research their method of contraception?

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect someone who absolutely must NOT get pregnant to use more than one method of contraception to prevent said pregnancy?

Simple fact is, this situation WAS preventable.

A bit of care would have ensured a life wasn't created only to be prematurely brought to an end.

More than one method of contraception may still have resulted in a pregnancy, the pill isnt 100 per cent effective, neither is the implant or jag, sterilisations and vasectomies can fail and condoms can split.

It would only have been 100 per cent preventable if the OP and her husband didnt ever have sex as long as there was the chance she could get pregnant.

pops5588

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect people to research their method of contraception?

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect someone who absolutely must NOT get pregnant to use more than one method of contraception to prevent said pregnancy?

Simple fact is, this situation WAS preventable.

A bit of care would have ensured a life wasn't created only to be prematurely brought to an end.

OP is in a long term relationship/married (apologies OP, can't remember exactly which) with a man she knows and trusts. They have both clearly researched methods of contraception, hence why her OH was already booked in for a vasectomy when this happened.

As others have already said to you, the only way to truly 100% prevent pregnancy is by abstaining from sex, OP has already said that this is not a route she is prepared to go down. She is an adult who is more than capable of making adult choices for herself. She does not need anyone on here who is clearly welded onto some kind of soapbox telling her she is irresponsible for not using 3 different types of contraception. Maybe if you were directing this kind of unhelpful rhetoric at a 15-year-old girl who hadn't been using any contraception your view point would be more relevant, however it is not relevant here. So yes, to me you look hysterical.

Georgiegirl256

Judi wrote: »

I'll stick my neck out here. I think not being able to afford a baby is a poor excuse to have a termination. I think if the majority of people waited till they could afford a baby, the world would be pretty empty.

I kind of agree with you, but in the OP's case where it could be detriment to her relationship and the lives of her other children then for her it might be the right choice.

Person_one

Judi wrote: »

I'll stick my neck out here. I think not being able to afford a baby is a poor excuse to have a termination. I think if the majority of people waited till they could afford a baby, the world would be pretty empty.

Excuse?

The only reason anybody needs to have a termination is that they are pregnant and don't want to be. They don't need to satisfy anybody else as to their circumstances.

Georgiegirl256

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect people to research their method of contraception?

Why is it 'hysterical' to expect someone who absolutely must NOT get pregnant to use more than one method of contraception to prevent said pregnancy?

Simple fact is, this situation WAS preventable.

A bit of care would have ensured a life wasn't created only to be prematurely brought to an end.

I think it was the 3 methods of contraception that did it.

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

Maybe some tax payers feel they are entitled to an opinion if their taxes are paying for it? I have never understood why tax payers are expected to pay for contraception or abortions.

Because having them available free of charge is better, both for individuals and for society as a whole.

lostinrates

Judi wrote: »

I'll stick my neck out here. I think not being able to afford a baby is a poor excuse to have a termination. I think if the majority of people waited till they could afford a baby, the world would be pretty empty.

I think its an incredibly valid reason.

The world is pretty over full and struggling, and not afford can be a really heinous position for the child and existing children. It puts, taken to the extreme some unfortunate countries are in, huge numbers of children in jeopardy.

Few people on the street predicted the welfare cuts we have had. Few of us know where the future rests. Not being able to be provident, is of course a matter of degrees, and thankfully on a national scale we are well protected still, but on a personal scale, I wouldn't want to do it.

MothballsWallet

OP, I hope you're able to make your decision as you see best, but I am speaking as an adopted child whose biological parents gave him up for adoption for the very reason that they couldn't afford a child.

This was the 1970's so contraception must have been available but they didn't use it, or it failed, or whatever reason. Also, they didn't abort me.

They've never even tried to find me in later years, and I've not really bothered trying to find them. I'm still in two minds as to whether I should.

I think that, if you feel you can't afford to bring a child into the world and nurture them, then you're possibly doing the right thing.