Sensitive first post

nikki11

((Hugs)) op, sorry that you're going through this, I have never had any experience of this but I just wanted to wish you well. Only you and your oh can decide what to do and hopefully whatever that is you both can be there for each other and come out stronger. x

daisiegg

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

Just to put the record straight, I didn't have a stomach upset, take herbal remedies or anything like that. I took the pill at the same time every day and neither myself nor the healthcare professional know why.
I thought ( and still believe) I did everything by the book.

Sorry, all the discussion about contraception has really come about through lots of other comments not directly relating to you. It was other posters, not you, who talked about stomach upsets, etc.

daisiegg

lostinrates wrote: »

Agreed, you find no disagreement from me there

Sometimes however people are the tiny minority, the . 01 who follow advice and are well but who suffer a contraception failure. Or who know how to put on a condom and yet suffer a problem with it ( fwiw I have never had a condom split on me, but I have had partners buy ones that aren't the best size for them, rectified with experimentation and I dare say those are more prone to have problems so probably have been lucky...or perhaps my infertility spared me more problems I wasn't aware of.)

Ok, I got confused and thought you were disagreeing with me but was not sure why!

And yes, of course that tiny minority who do everything right but still fall pregnant does exist. Evidently, one of them started this thread. However, I do think that a lot (not all) of people who say they had a 'contraception failure' actually had a 'user error' situation.

ERICS_MUM

nikki11 wrote: »

((Hugs)) op, sorry that you're going through this, I have never had any experience of this but I just wanted to wish you well. Only you and your oh can decide what to do and hopefully whatever that is you both can be there for each other and come out stronger. x

I entirely agree.

Dear TiredandStressed, please do what you and partner feel is right for you now. There is no one right or one wrong solution, but there is one that is best for you. As hard as it is, don't listen or take to heart the more vicious or extreme views expressed here or by friends/family/pro-lifers UNLESS they are useful to your decision process.

Best wishes to you both whatever the outcome.

EM xxxx

**professor~yaffle**

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

Just to put the record straight, I didn't have a stomach upset, take herbal remedies or anything like that. I took the pill at the same time every day and neither myself nor the healthcare professional know why.
I thought ( and still believe) I did everything by the book.

wasn't having a go at you and please don't think you have to justify yourself to any of us on here

claire16c

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

from the nhs site:
two doctors must agree that an abortion would cause less damage to a woman's physical or mental health than continuing with the pregnancy

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Abortion/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I haven't read through all the thread (too long!) so sorry if this is repeating what's been said already, but it's about time the law was clarified one way or another so that women can either have an abortion on demand or they can't.

Anyway, good luck OP if you're still reading. Get some NEUTRAL counselling (ie not from a bunch of folks on the internet ) and make sure it is YOUR decision, as it is of course irreversible once it's done.

I have always been led to believe/read that the law was deliberately written that way. I.e you can get an abortion for pretty much any reason but the law doesn't spell it out as being ' on demand.'

Although I'm not sure where that 'on demand' line stems from, people don't talk about other operations like that.

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

I don't think it IS clear, though. As it stands a woman could be refused an abortion if a doctor does not agree that her health will be affected if the pregnancy were to continue. If we're going to effectively have abortion on demand why not be open about it, debate it in Parliament and (if passed) say openly it is the woman's right to do so.

As it stands, it seems to be that legally she can't have a pregnancy termination unless her or the baby's health is likely to be affected, but people get round the law, as long as they go to 2 doctors who are willing to sign the papers.

They aren't 'getting around' the law, it's how the law was designed to work.

Not to mention quite clearly a woman's health is affected more by pregnancy than abortion.

daisiegg

claire16c wrote: »

Not to mention quite clearly a woman's health is affected more by pregnancy than abortion.

Interested in this comment - how is this the case? Aren't women's bodies designed to have babies? I thought that part of the abortion law about physical health was more about if the woman has a medical condition that would make carrying a child to term dangerous for her.

Person_one

claire16c wrote: »

They aren't 'getting around' the law, it's how the law was designed to work.

Not to mention quite clearly a woman's health is affected more by pregnancy than abortion.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my mental health would suffer quite a bit if I was forced to have a baby I didn't want.

horsewhisperer_2

claire16c wrote: »

I have always been led to believe/read that the law was deliberately written that way. I.e you can get an abortion for pretty much any reason but the law doesn't spell it out as being ' on demand.'

Although I'm not sure where that 'on demand' line stems from, people don't talk about other operations like that.



They aren't 'getting around' the law, it's how the law was designed to work.

Not to mention quite clearly a woman's health is affected more by pregnancy than abortion.

Plus, that only refers to terminations performed by the NHS. It is possible to have a private termination (I did) and in these instances, you do not need a GP referral. Mine isn't even on my medical notes.

Person_one

daisiegg wrote: »

Interested in this comment - how is this the case? Aren't women's bodies designed to have babies? I thought that part of the abortion law about physical health was more about if the woman has a medical condition that would make carrying a child to term dangerous for her.

Being pregnant is always more dangerous and carries more risks than not being pregnant.