Third Time's a Charm...

*Robin*

Hi Kissjenn, :hello:

Good news re friends wanting to help support SB; hope he is happy to get to know them better.

Did you have a good walk with Husky?

I've been falling short in that department recently. CD retaliated by playing with a pair of young foxes she's sort-of adopted - found a flea on her chin when she came in, the hussy.


ps. ETA: Another vote for keeping your distance from anyone who brings you down, family or not (know the type; DH called 'em 'plastic Buddhists' - to be looked upon with compassion, from a safe distance ).

EssexHebridean

Hey KJ - really can only echo what others have said re the situation with your Brother, and I can well believe the "hate filled Buddhist" scenario - I've met people fitting precisely that mould, considering themselves all touchy feely and spiritual, yet actually full of nasty resentment, bitterness and jealousy. Generally speaking others see through them in time - they usually slip up and make their true colours obvious, and I suspect exactly this would be true of your brothers, however my personal preference would be to avoid such people in the first place, if the choice is there.

New throw sounds gorgeous too, as do nice diet-busting meals with chums, and walks with the husky! :T

alibob30

I'm a lurker, prefer to leave it a couple of weeks at a time and have a big catch up!
I'm crap at articulating myself but I'm so sorry that you are where you are now.

I have a brother similar to yours although he's not a buddist, it's his birthday tomorrow oddly, I can't see that we will ever be reconciled and I'm happy about that.

Sun_Addict

KJ if you don't want to re-connect with your brother then don't. When I lost my mum there were some people who showed their true colours who I am adamant I never want anything to do with ever again and nothing will change my mind so don't feel you have to reconcile with anyone. You have enough on your plate - it's time to put you and SB first. What a lovely friend you have by the way! And hope you're huddled up in your fab new throw now.

kissjenn

Hi Robin, Ali, EH and SA.

I think we're all pretty unanimous in avoid "Plastic Buddha" (thanks Robin).

Been in bed pretty much all day. The pattern is bad night will be followed by even worse day. Lunch was an ordeal...most of the time SB is right that if I eat I'll feel better...but today was the exception.

Still I've had soup now and feel closer to human. Reading a book I should love, but don't, called "Cat Sense". A bit like Desmond Morris Cat Watching about why the mad beasties do what they do. I've skipped a few chapters to read about how their individual personalities evolve. Let see how that pans out.

Also singing teacher emailed to say that she'll send me concerts times for various choirs and events so I can just turn up on the night and listen if I'm having a good day. Why a thoughtful thing to do. I am surrounded by such great people.

AlexLK

Sorry to hear you've not had a great day.

I've no real advice on whether or not reconnecting with your brother would be a good idea, for I have no siblings. However, a point for consideration, are you certain he is the same man as the one you knew when you last saw him?

*Robin*

kissjenn wrote:

I think we're all pretty unanimous in avoid "Plastic Buddha" (thanks Robin).

You're welcome.

AlexLK wrote: »

I've no real advice on whether or not reconnecting with your brother would be a good idea, for I have no siblings. However, a point for consideration, are you certain he is the same man as the one you knew when you last saw him?

Alex, if brother's attitude has changed, he will approach Kissjenn - with humility.

Until such time, she has the right to protect herself from further hurt by keeping a safe distance.

Karmacat

kissjenn wrote: »

Good afternoon one and all.

confession time - I'm still in my pit.

I'm glad you're letting yourself do what feels right for you.

It was lovely seeing my friends and I'm having lunch with the "her" half of him and her to really talk through what's happening. But (can't get used to the idea you can now start sentences with conjunctives) dear friend grabbed me in the kitchen and said they wanted to get to know SB better. They'd decided that they take him under their wing as and when necessary. Have him up to theirs for dinner, come to our house and help him with anything that needs done, invite him to all the parties and games nights going...adopt him in essence.

Thats absolutely lovely of them, but I can understand your "but" there ... makes it more real, I suspect, or it would for me, anyway Many hugs for you, dear kissjenn.

Bit of a morphine night as the stabbing pains more frequent but we got through it. Hence the reason I'm still in bed at the moment.

And thats bleeping real, isn't it hope the morphine took care of it.

Time for some food methinks and a wee wander with the mad dog.

And I hope the food helped this time, too. And as for a walk with a mad dog, thats got to be fun, I'd think - real re-connection in that

kissjenn

AlexLK wrote: »

Sorry to hear you've not had a great day.

I've no real advice on whether or not reconnecting with your brother would be a good idea, for I have no siblings. However, a point for consideration, are you certain he is the same man as the one you knew when you last saw him?

Hi Alex,

A very fair challenge but to be honest he's always been this way. He'd nip you when we were wee and I'd always be the one caught ready to thump him. He still plays like this. He's not a very nice individual which when overlaid by this monastic pretention just makes it sicklingly hypocritical. Quite honestly he's the reason I have one child, I couldn't risk SB being stuck with a sibling like this.

*Robin* wrote: »

You're welcome.



Alex, if brother's attitude has changed, he will approach Kissjenn - with humility.

Until such time, she has the right to protect herself from further hurt by keeping a safe distance.

Hi Robin,

I shall maintain a safe distance.

Macabre perhaps but I keep thinking about my funeral. I don't want him there but if it helped my dad then why not. At the end of the day funerals are for the living so they can sort it out themselves.

Karmacat wrote: »

I'm glad you're letting yourself do what feels right for you.


Thats absolutely lovely of them, but I can understand your "but" there ... makes it more real, I suspect, or it would for me, anyway Many hugs for you, dear kissjenn.


And thats bleeping real, isn't it hope the morphine took care of it.


And I hope the food helped this time, too. And as for a walk with a mad dog, thats got to be fun, I'd think - real re-connection in that

Still in pit. Really not well last night. I've an appointment with the GP tomorrow anyone to get everything set up. There's a condition known as Anticipatory Nausea which people get even thinking about chemo and the like again. I know Taxi had real problems second time around even going into the room. I'm wondering if this is psychosomatic even thinking about the Hickman and then the treatment. How do I uncondition my brain and then poison it when it's not looking.

Maybe I could just have a nap til August!

Karmacat

KJ, I've looked back over the last few pages, and I can't see what I thought was there, so apologies if this is talking out of turn - I'd not heard the words Anticipatory Nausea before, but the concept makes complete sense to me - its the kind of thing that mindfulness work helps with. Its been very well tested, over 15 years or more, in a pain clinic in the States, and the classic work on it, for counsellors (i.e. there won't be idiotically long medical words, written for the intelligent lay person) is Full Catastrophe Living. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Edition/dp/0749958413/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391365000&sr=8-1&keywords=full+catastrophe+living

It can certainly help with unconditioning the brain, I think. And I'm glad you can talk to the GP tomorrow about everything.