Third Time's a Charm...

kissjenn

Hi Mara,

Huge big M&S Navy Blue throw right here beside me. £69 but it was soft and snugglier than the cheaper ones and for once I wanted something really nice.

So didn't quite manage the NSD but all the vouchers are spent which is good for me, usually these things just fester in a drawer somewhere.

Grandad's just been through trying to persuade me to reconnect with my brother. I really, really don't want to as I find him a nasty, vindictive person. The hate-filled Buddhist; could be a movie title. The only doubt / guilt I have is around my dad. No parent wants to witness their children estranged like this but even the thought of seeing him stresses me to hell and back. Anybody have any thoughts on this? Is it acceptable to be this "selfish"?

Weather here is cold and wet. Looks like winter has arrived...BUT I@ve got a new snuggly blankie :j:j

kissjenn

Hi Mara,

Huge big M&S Navy Blue throw right here beside me. £69 but it was soft and snugglier than the cheaper ones and for once I wanted something really nice.

So didn't quite manage the NSD but all the vouchers are spent which is good for me, usually these things just fester in a drawer somewhere.

Grandad's just been through trying to persuade me to reconnect with my brother. I really, really don't want to as I find him a nasty, vindictive person. The hate-filled Buddhist; could be a movie title. The only doubt / guilt I have is around my dad. No parent wants to witness their children estranged like this but even the thought of seeing him stresses me to hell and back. Anybody have any thoughts on this? Is it acceptable to be this "selfish"?

Weather here is cold and wet. Looks like winter has arrived...BUT I've got a new snuggly blankie :j:j

And yes please Mara...hopefully by the end of summer I'll be in a better place :A

mooomin

Be as selfish as you bloody like.

(Or something approaching more mature advice!)

please-let-me-be-lucky

mooomin wrote: »

Be as selfish as you bloody like.

(Or something approaching more mature advice!)

That's exactly what I was going to say!! The only people that matter are you and SB.

I'm in awe as always at how well you cope Xx

Karmacat

mooomin wrote: »

Be as selfish as you bloody like.

(Or something approaching more mature advice!)

Exactly!

kissjenn wrote: »

Hi Mara,Grandad's just been through trying to persuade me to reconnect with my brother. I really, really don't want to as I find him a nasty, vindictive person. The hate-filled Buddhist; could be a movie title. The only doubt / guilt I have is around my dad. No parent wants to witness their children estranged like this but even the thought of seeing him stresses me to hell and back. Anybody have any thoughts on this? Is it acceptable to be this "selfish"?

To fill out my response a bit more ... of course, and your gut level tells you the same thing, I'm sure. Seriously, you're in a prolonged fight for your life; your friends, and your boss, are totally supportive, as are the friends you have on here. I can understand your grandad wanting to try to get you to re-connect, trying once, and taking your answer on board; if your dad is upset about the estrangement, then thats his responsibility. I don't know what caused it, and I'm definitely not asking because thats private, but at minimum, I can't believe that you're at fault and he's not, life isn't like that. And the phenomenon of the "hate filled Buddhist" is well known to me - and I speak as someone who classes themselves as Buddhist.

The stress of even thinking about seeing him is horrible to you! Please do what best serves your health.

Weather here is cold and wet. Looks like winter has arrived...BUT I@ve got a new snuggly blankie :j:j

I love your description of the new blankie

Ellidee

kj my thoughts on re-connecting with your brother, from 'Marc & Angel Hack Life'

'Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you'

Enjoy your new blankie xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Happy Friday


I think regarding your brother you will know if it is right to do anything, you will just know. and it doesn't have to be meeting with him, it could just be a letter or a card you feel you want to write or if your gut tells you no, then nothing. It isn't selfish at all.


I know you might get bored of people saying this but you really are truly amazing. SB is so lucky to have you.


I was thinking today - about life and stuff as you do on VERY soggy Fridays. You never know what life is going to bring - you think you do but you really don't. Even small things like my new school, I had no idea schools like this existed and I just keep thinking that you never really know 100% about anything,


Stay warm, stay safe


Love Buffy xxx

beanielou

Happy new blankie

I think go with your gut instinct re your brother.
It is what you want to do & not anyone else.

kissjenn

Thank you all.

I'm inclined to let sleeping dogs lie. My Dad (SB's Grandad) wants us reconciled. He thinks I'm being too harsh. But brother is nasty and manipulative but of course dad/grandad doesn't want/choose to see that in his own son.

SB speaks to his uncle and he rings here every week to speak to dad/grandad, I just don't want to be part of it. Not stopping anyone else from doing what they feel is right.

Crux will come in April. He's coming up with latest girlfriend (don't know her name) and her 6 year old daughter for a holiday. They'll stay in Edinburgh and meet up with SB and Dad once or twice. Works for me but there again I'm not the one doing the deathbed scene!!

Blankie appreciates your vote of confidence.

Dinner's all ready to go, just waiting for friends to appear and I'll pop it in the over to put the cheesy crispy topping on the pasta. This is not a figure watching meal

kissjenn

Good afternoon one and all.

confession time - I'm still in my pit.

It was lovely seeing my friends and I'm having lunch with the "her" half of him and her to really talk through what's happening. But (can't get used to the idea you can now start sentences with conjunctives) dear friend grabbed me in the kitchen and said they wanted to get to know SB better. They'd decided that they take him under their wing as and when necessary. Have him up to theirs for dinner, come to our house and help him with anything that needs done, invite him to all the parties and games nights going...adopt him in essence.

They are the loveliest pair going. No kids of their own but so good with him and they love quirky stuff like stargazing and a midnight BBQ. So we'll discuss that more on Wednesday.

Bit of a morphine night as the stabbing pains more frequent but we got through it. Hence the reason I'm still in bed at the moment.

Time for some food methinks and a wee wander with the mad dog.

KJ x