The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Rolandtheroadie

16/30 please Shaggy.

Honey_Bear

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

Part of me is thinking that I am fooling myself (by pretending I am still having wine) and it won't help me get out of the habit, but part of me says "well if it works, then all good". Not sure which is right!

Last time I did Dry January (2 years ago) I went straight back into my old drinking habits, not sure what will happen this time. I want to stay AF Mon-Thur every week that's for sure. Maybe I will try for Sun-Thur instead

Either can be right, it's a personal thing. If it weren't for Bec** Bl** I'd struggle with being AF because I like to have something slightly sour to sip when I go out and with my evening meal, but with it life's a breeze, frankly. Belle (of the 100 Day Challenge) says that having AF wine or beer means people are not AF, and I suspect that AA would say the same thing. As someone who's been completely AF for over two and a half years I'm confident about this and happy to disagree. My reality works for me and I'm not in the least tempted to go back to drinking alcohol. I suspect the thinking is that if you're drinking AF beer you might be tempted to drink 'real' beer so it's safer not to have it. I tend to shy away from over-zealousness generally and rules that appear to be made just for the sake of it. In short, whatever works for you.

As for going straight back to old habits - that's quite normal with alcohol. It's why I'm not tempted to drink again at all, but if you can be self-disciplined about it now that you know what will happen if you're not, I would give it a go if you want to.

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

Please Can i ask if i may- how people find socialising without a drink. To me its quite alien and sounds a lot like hard work. If i am truly honest i kind of think i don't have the best social skills And drinking helps. I imagine AF socialising to be quite draining. I mean in a group situation or work/group situation. Is there a strategy that people adopt to tackle this. I would be interested to know. Thank you.

I love So Worried's answer! My reality was that unless I really, really wanted to go out when I first stopped drinking I avoided it as much as possible for quite a while. It didn't harm any friendships thank goodness, but then again some things were unavoidable (a wedding the day I stopped drinking) and I managed on tomato juice. (I think I may still have been drunk from the night before, if I'm strictly honest. I did have a lot.)

You're not alone in thinking you need alcohol to be comfortable when you socialise, but you don't. You're perfectly normal if you find socialising slightly daunting; that's why most people think they 'need' a drink. If you absolutely have to go and it's an event that makes you feel tense, you need a strategy and this was mine.

1. Decide before you go if you're going to say that you're having an AF night out. Sometimes it's more hassle than it's worth and as I don't consider it anyone else's business, I think telling a fib is fine. After most people have had a couple of drinks they seem to take it as personal criticism if you tell them you're steering clear of booze by choice, and I would suggest that is best avoided.
2. Arrive late, preferably last, go straight to the bar and order whatever AF drink you've decided on for that occasion before you join the group. It can be orange juice or tomato juice either of which could contain a vodka and that's where fibbing is fine if anyone asks. Choosing an AF beer is easier because it looks 'normal' so the subject doesn't come up unless people offer to buy you a drink.
3. Drink it slowly, so that you defer the moment anyone offers to get you one.* When you think that moment is about to happen, leave a dreg in your glass and go to the loo. Pick yourself up the next drink on your way back.
4. Sit back mentally and let everyone who needs alcohol do all the talking. They'll be very happy to, and they won't notice you're not travelling at the same speed as them because after a couple of drinks most people think they're fascinating. Join in that little bit of delusion and you'll be amazingly popular. Bored, but popular.
5. Leave early, when you've done enough to satisfy people that you're still the life and soul of every party.

* You'll be surprised by how quickly everyone gets through their booze compared to your softies. Alcohol dries out the back of the throat, so the more people drink, the thirstier they get. Soft drinks don't do that, and the amount of sugar in them makes most people feel quite sickly after a couple, so you need to pace yourself but you'll find that quite easy in comparison to drinking alcohol.


After you've had a couple of successful (if slightly boring) evenings, you'll realise as you make your way home that you feel incredibly relieved that you're not pi**ed and that you won't have a hangover the following morning. That's when you'll have a lovely lightbulb moment - that maybe living without alcohol isn't quite as unpleasant as it first looked. From then on nights out are much easier.

Sandypan wrote: »

Did anybody manage to watch "Risky drinking" on Sky Atlantic?

We don't have Sky, but if we did I would have.

18/31 please, Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Afternoon :hello:

2 more AFDs for Monday & Tuesday.



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

January 2017
= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

:A = 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= target achieved


Alcohol Free Days
Arkers 17/TF

BaileysOnIce /10

Barny1979 12/25

CathyBird 13/21

CuppaTea 13/22

DebJay 17/31

DizzyImp 16/31

Dprovan 17/30

Eltee 10/25

ElusiveLucy 15/30

FakePlasticTwee 17/31

[Deleted User] 16/31

GlasgowGirl /31

GreenKaren 6/10

Honey Bear 18/31

Honey Bee 9/31

LoveASale 3/9

MaggieM 16/31

Maman 10/10

Munchin 15/31

NewMe 5/23

PettyPace 2/28

Poor Single Lady 12/22

Pricey 6/22

RolandTheRoadie 16/30

Sandypan 10/22

ScatterBrain 8/30

Shaggy 10/17
Smiley 14/31

SoWorried 16/30

SukeyBoo 9/14

WBF 5/14


Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

Soworried

17/30 For me today please

I think I might move all our alcohol in to the shed or cupboard under the stairs. Currently have many bottles of spirits open looking at me from the kitchen bench :cool:

It's like it's watching me :rotfl:

Dizzy_Imp

18/31 for me please x

I don't worry about declaring I'm not drinking if we go out. If anyone comments, I just say my drinking was getting excessive and I'm putting a stop to it. I usually find that this frank admission is enough to get people to back off with trying to encourage me to "join in".

debjay

18/31 for tonight please.

Poor_Single_lady

Thank you to everyone for responses. I am pondering them. I like your how-to guide Honey Bear.
13/22

Barny1979

13/25 AFDs today

[Deleted User]

Planning an early tonight as up early tomorrow so am calling 18/31 please Shaggy

Thanks