Telling 9yr old that Dad isn't Bio Dad

LilElvis

In case no-one had guessed from my previous post but I am a Mummy only thanks to gamete donation, though we needed help from an egg rather than sperm donor

My little girl is only 3 but I have already started to tell her about her origins as the general consensus seems to be that it is best to tell the child as early as possible so that it is both 'normal' for them and something which they have always known. To this end I have age-appropriate books to assist me and I will be attending some classes this year to get a better understanding as to the vocabulary to use and how to deal with any issues/questions which result. I think this makes my situation at least a little similar to yours so perhaps the approach would be similar too? I realise that, for extremely good reasons, you have felt that it would not have been appropriate to raise this question before, but help from the school Educational Psychologist might prove fruitful in looking for some guidance and support. Gingerbread, though an organisation for single parents, might have some resources which would be helpful too.

I know from my own experience that it is hard to actually utter the words at times, and sometimes I wish I didn't have to say them at all, but a child who is secure in his family will cope. I am dreading the teenage years when I know I might get the phrase "you're not my real Mum" thrown in my face, but the chances are that we will all make it out of the other end just fine, and I am sure your family will too.